You could look at your family right now and judge them just by looking at them because no one knows their family better than a outsider. I’m the type of person who doesn’t talk much, but feels a lot. Keeps everything in and listens to others. Having parents who smoke weed and drink alcohol everyday, gives you a different look on things. You mature faster, but don’t make good decisions. I smoke weed and yet my parents tell me not to. They think I don’t know about it but actually I take their weed and call them hypocritical. I’ve cut myself and I’m not proud […]
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Yiruma-Moon-Light.mp3
I’m tired. I’m just tired.
I’m tired of food. I’m tired of television. I’m tired of work. I’m tired of school. I’m tired of going outside. . I’m tired.
Anytime someone asks how I am, my answer isn’t “I’m fine”
The answer is “I’m tired”
I’ve lost any shred of hope that I might of had. And I don’t see the point.
And the funny thing? I’m tired…but I can’t sleep.
I guess I’m not physically tired. I’m mentally and emotionally tired.
I don’t know what to do with my life anymore.
I don’t feel like going anywhere. I don’t feel like talking.
I seriously […]
My struggle with depression/anxiety as well as coming from an abusive/chaotic home with a parent who had, at the time, undiagnosed bi-polar have taught me to be strong and rely on myself. It also taught me, after years of therapy and self analysis, that people’s words can’t have power over you unless you allow them to.
I’ve always been very empathetic to others. My parents said as a toddler I would cry if a character got hurt or died in a Disney movie. I used to think this […]
Ok, a few years out of high school I decided that I was ready to die. Things weren’t bad, I had a job that put a little money in my pocket, I had a great car and I was dating a girl who was fun to be with, but still I was just ready to go. Then I meet a new girl that I fell in love with. I figured she wouldn’t stay with me for to long, there was a bit of an age gap between us. So I figured I would ride it out and see how I felt when she finally moved […]
I cut my stomach up today. I don’t ever count my cuts or burns but I know there’s close too a hundred. If I don’t cut I get irritable. My skin crawls. Sometimes I can go without cutting for a few weeks! It’s Rare but it’s happened! I was doing really well until today. I got very depressed because I broke up with my boyfriend and I just thought about how meaningless my life is, basically. Everything is better now but the cuts are still there.
I was sexually abused as a child. I was physically, verbally and emotionally abused through childhood and my early teens. I’m super screwed up. I can’t control my emotions and I get depressed. Suicide seems very glamorous to me. I’ve thought about it ever since I was 7 or 8 years old. Life terrifies me unless I’m drinking or doing drugs. I’m a cutter. I’ve never attempted suicide because I always chicken out in the end, but I’m getting closer to the brink.
I hate being in love. It makes me very depressed. I become bitter towards my partners. I just want to end it all. I can’t be with them because I hate them sometimes, and I can’t be without them because I’m miserable. I just want to die -_- I have nothing. I have no job, no money, no father. I miss my home, england, I hate where I live, Canada, I’m nobody.
Hey guys, it’s been a while. Just thought I’d update about my shitty life.
Well, the night before the last day of school was…interesting. I know I had tried to kill myself in the past. Multiple times. But this time…I could feel it. I felt calm. I felt ready. My head was clear and my decision had been made…My rents were out in the garage doing whatever and I was inside alone. I grabbed a total of 63 aspirin (I know probably could have grabbed something better) and downed at least 13 or 14 of them. I had made sure to read the bottle and it […]
So this girl and I went out and we both have a hard life alcohol, I smoke weed, I have abusive parents always bullied we broke up but remained friends we both cut she saved my life because when I met her I was planning suicide we both started cutting again after the break up and we promised each other we wouldn’t cut again and I told her if she cuts then I will to. Two weeks ago she broke the promise she cut and so later that day I to did to all in this day she told me she loves me she told […]
Im strung out on coke and weed. And all I can think of is that one day when I survived. I think about it everyday and wonder what I did wrong to have to survive in this world. I literally have everything yet I feel like I have nothing. I just want the pain to go away.
Living hurts. The people who used to make me happy now tear away at my sanity, even without meaning to. I watch tons of porn daily, and whenever I go a day without porn I spend it being a lazy fuck. HOW DID I EARN THIS LIFE? HUH? ANSWER ME DAMMIT!!!! It’s like death is a release even if I do go to hell I’ll at least know why. I go to a therapist, take happy pills, and fantasize about me dying. I like to think that I’ll die quickly but brutally so I’ll go out in kick ass way. I pray every day […]
Maybe suicide is the solution. Everyone always says it’s not, but nobody but me is actually worthless. Every other person in this world has worth and I can see that in them. But then, I look at me and I see nothing but worthlessness. I am not worth anything to anyone and if you don’t know me, you can’t say that “you would be sad if I died”, because I can guarantee that if you met me, you would think I am annoying, stupid, worthless, ugly, etc. Everyone else always has. you don’t have to deny it. There’s […]
I’m fucking tired of living like this. I hate not being able to do anything about it. Can’t you see that you’re hurting me? Can’t you understand that the things you say tear me apart? Why does everything hurt so much? I’m blinded by all of these things you throw at me. I’m suffocating from all this pressure. I can’t help but think of all of the most painful ways to die, and how I would perform them on myself. I can’t breathe, I can’t think. I fucking hate myself. I’m so useless; I can’t do anything right. I do everything I possibly can to […]
basically I been molested by my step dad at age 5-8 my uncle forced me to have sex with my cousin jenny at age 6 while he molested her brother and sister at the same time. I been horribly beaten by my step dad from age 5-18, My moms side of the family outcasted me and hated me and treats me like pure crap. I was beaten by my step dad till I was either bleeding or he was tired. no one believed me and he was good at getting people to believe him. I been homeless for a year. I have done all kids […]
This is beginning to be too much. The world has been so dark and hopeless for the past year. I can’t figure out what’s wrong with me. I keep telling myself, “You’re fine. Get the fuck out of bed, and live your life.” only to discover that I have no motivation. I tell myself I do, but I don’t. After the stress, the tears, the panic attacks, the breakdowns. I can’t bring myself to admit that I need help. I don’t need help. I just don’t. I can’t bring myself to even talk to people anymore. Everyone thinks I’m mad at them, but ever since […]
So I’ve suspected what was coming for a few weeks and had plenty of time to contemplate what would happen. My love finally told me last night she wasn’t coming home to me and that she needed a divorce. Unfortunately she’s halfway around the world “defending our country” and I’m left home keeping her house ready for her for the next couple months. Of course when she gets back I’ll need to leave my life behind. My family, house, sanity becomes hers. She’s not angry and has been talking to me about getting help but it doesn’t help. I’m currently in therapy and on meds […]
I went to the roof of my five storey building. I stood on the ledge. I wonder if that is enough. I don’t want to wake up in the hospital.
I do care. I do. I care so much I go all in, surrender every ounce of being to them.
They never do. They don’t care.
And I’m tired. Tired of being the only ones who pulls all the weight around here.
I’m one half of a dual-military family. My wife is deployed and I’ve been a shattered man since she left. We’ve been through some ups and downs before but we were always together to work through it. Not this time tho. We had a beautiful family. We had a plan for the future. At least that’s what I thought. I guess her plan was different. She has a beautiful family, once I’m out of it. Her plan for the future doesn’t include me.
This is just another in a pattern of losing all the women I’ve ever loved. Nobody stays…
Hello, before I begin I’d like to say thank you for taking your time reading this. It’s a long story and I’m afraid that there will be more negative elements than good but I’m working on that. I’ve come here for a last attempt for finding hope, as I have lost mine. Maybe writing my story there will be someone out there who really understands. But I must warn you, this is a cautionary tale so please keep an open mind. I really need some help with being completely overwhelmed. What would you do? Â
Where do you begin when you decide writing your life […]
I’m new to this so don’t even know if the box I’m typing in is the box I’m supposed to be typing in and I realize that nobody probably cares/will read this but It feels great to get it out so here goes.
I’m Jess, I am 17 years old and I am on my summer holidays from school now. Over the past year I have just grown to be so disapointed in myself and I jst feel worthless. I self-harm and I’ve told nobody about it. I understand that it is necessary to tell people about it and to find help but although my […]