it’s very easy to say don’t expect and be happy but no matter what the ones we love.. we expect from them or some things are expected from us and no matter what you do your whole life trying to fulfill those expectations..you fall short! you disappoint and you feel really fckd up inside like you aint good enough and slowly slowly that takes over your mind and consumes you and you realize that it’s better to die than not be good enough!
Category:
Rants
You ever feel numb inside and you just dont want to anything, Â you think about how many people you have hurt you know that you put them through so much pain. You know inside that you should just find a way to get your mind off of things but you turn your music up but your head phones on and all you think about is dying. All you want to do die. Lay in the road…JUST GET OUT OF THE WORLD.. Your ex text you and you just want to cry.. You just want to grab your blade but then you remember you flushed them […]
Is is wrong to want to hurt him the way he hurt me?
Is it wrong to want to take it all from him so he is left with nothing?
All the years, all my time, all my efforts.
All the pain, all the fears,
he took away, only to bring worse ones near.
My heart says i still love him.
My heart won’t let me hurt him.
But my mind, it’s going crazy.
How can I hurt him anyway?
I’m so confused and angry.
But not at him.
I’m angry at me.
I let this all happen.
I can’t hurt him..
And my heart, […]
I know nobody here reads my stuff but i still write hoping it helps my thought process. I told him everything sat night and of course he didnt take me seriously. I even had the gun cocked and ready and he just ignored me then took the gun when i had laid it down because i was crying. The next day he put it back where i had it like nothing happened. Why doesnt anyone take me seriously? Or am i that much of a failure that i really wont succeed in taking my own life either and its that obvious i suck at everything […]
how about we all contact another member when we are ready? the chosen member should already know how they are feeling so no qualms on trying to talk them out of it. that person would be a ‘safety’ person just in case the attempt isn’t successful, to help the process along. I’m sure there’s legal lines on it, however if neither tells, then no harm no foul… right?
I try to be positive and I try to talk to people. I start smiling, and then something or someone comes along and f**ks it up. So yeah, others who deal with hard issues and live to tell the tail, Congrad-u-f**king-lations. The worst thing is not going through the bad times. The worst things is going through the bad times alone. Everyone deals with crap in their lives, but not everyone has the support or love from others. Some of us have to pay 75 f**king dollars for 50 min sessions to get our pain out in the open. The question is though, does this […]
i don’t get it. why am i not good enough? why does he not tell me he’s cheating. he is. i know he is. he knows i know, so just admit it. why can’t i break up with him? he was supposed to be my sanctuary. now he’s my pain. i can’t go or be anywhere with him because i know what he’s doing. this sucks. can’t i get some peace? happiness? should i leave? it’d probably better – for both of us. he could be with the person he wants to be with. he won’t have to worry about hurting me. he can be […]
My first love just told me she needed a break. She said I put so much in this relationship, and she felt like she can’t do the same. She says she doesn’t know if she can commit right now. I told her I didn’t need her to, that I want her the way she is. But still, she decided on a break of “a few days at least.” I’m livid, and have already thoroughly thought about suicide. This is tearing me apart, I can’t deal with this. I’m angry, and I don’t know if it’s because of the break, or if I’m angry at her […]
long story short, my life blows and I can’t change my situation for at least 3 more years… SO looking to get this shit over with it it’s gone from bad to progressively shitty. please please help me finish it. I’ve tried everything. therapy, medication, mental institution, communication, sobriety, nothing works. looking for femoral artery method tips or hs2/detergent gas method. I DONT want to hurt anyone else, so please any advice/tips on it??
ME OPS????fed up with refelctional frens(acts like ur therpist of sleeps ell except u to set u up with someobodi compley wrong for u)/karoolivigians(wutevre it is u like coming to suemthing …)… I JUST WISH I EXISTED IN SUMBD,IS HEART….
Since my ‘time’ has finally come, its only suitable that I contribute something back to this site after reading however many posts over the past few months. Months, that’s quite a long time from my perspective, when I don’t even remember what happened a few days ago (I’m sure it was the same nothingness that every day of my life is). In an attempt to not make this dwell on for too long I’ll try and cut it short…it is the internet after all:
TL;DR: Dead now, shotgun-to-backOfThroat
As far as my childhood goes, I had a few friends here and there, got upset relatively often (like […]
I’m a 24 year old guy who has never experienced true friendship before.
I’ve had people in the past who pretended to like me for who I am, but they would never call me to ask how I was doing or if I wanted to hang out somewhere. I use to be a nicer person in the past, but that never mattered in the slightest to the people around me. People will often lie and use you for there own personal gain. That’s how I feel about the few people I’ve known in the past. It seem like the longer I live, the more angry and […]
when I was 13 i was living with my nan and aunt I because my father and I did not get along very well. Â I when I was 14 my grandma passed away from Lung cancer and Noone in my family Delt with it very well, and sadly it never really did get better. She looked and acted so young before the chemo.
my aunty was the most effected by my nans death, she acted fine but had also recently lost her husband to suicide so I can’t imagine how she felt really. well maybe now I can but back then I couldn’t. She looked after […]
how could you just do that … all i ever think about is you, and now I’m so lonely. i miss you with all my being. u never cared did you. you never ever liked me and i was just this stupid clingy thing that should just die in a hole. it was all in my head. i just can’t….believe it i guess. i can’t bear to accept it. I’m just tired….i really really…..i just.. I’m pathetic. its like all of that was a dream. it really is like it never happened now, isn’t it? there you go, on with life, and I’m just STUCK […]
I almost said dying, but on its own we’re all dying, life slowly committing its own sort of suicide, the organs beating valiantly against the unstoppable force of death.
I laugh because I see my niece and nephew, and they’re so light and carefree. Â They can’t yet know any of this, be tainted by any part of this world.
And then, while my sister and my mother are fighting, I dream of doing it tonight, lying in the living room between the tv and the couch where I rot, blood spilling everywhere into a red memory. Â Let them slip on it. Â Then maybe someone will hear me.
And […]
I feel so powerless against depression and loneliness,
tired out and hungry every morning when i wake up (couse im out of  appetite and not eating much).
Today  i cuted myself again (i was ok with it for almost half-year)
The only reason that i have, is that ive go to work at monday again – isnt that funny?
I have so much need for someone close as girlfriend (i never had one) but im too destroyed
i would like just have someone to hug and talk, i would need to study, excercise etc. but i cant.
thinking about overdosing … i feel so POWERLESS
Many of you guys have heard about this guy… Â There was a book and movie written about him… Â “Into the Wild”:
Christopher Johnson McCandless was an American hiker who adopted the alias Alexander Supertramp and ventured into the Alaskan wilderness in April 1992 with little food and equipment, hoping to live simply for a time in solitude. Wikipedia
I admire this guy for who he was and for his ideals and adventurous spirit and relate to the guy. Â If you haven’t heard of him, see the movie. Â There are some lessons to be learned about self isolation and other things.
He basically starved to death out there, supposedly […]
My parents put so much pressure on me to strive for success. I get about 5 texts a day from my stepmother to apply for jobs that will “help me with my future”, none of which I even want. When in the car on my way back to uni the other day, my dad said that if my sister and I don’t get out and make “connections” and “try harder” that we will fail in life. They just want me to work and “get involved” 24/7. Plus they expect me to be happy. No one knows that I spend about an hour a day looking […]
General curiosity, and my apologies if this has been brought up before, I’m new here. Don’t quite know my way around yet, so forgive me. I’ve always wondered what is after this? Years of self abuse written like poetry in scars over my body. Years of self-hatred for everyone to see and stare at. One stint in the psych ward, and multiple suicide attempts thwarted and my mom or myself saying “oh no, I didn’t want to die, I was just overwhelmed” in order to save me from more stints in the psych ward. I never wanted help, I never cried out for help, I […]