I’m just an average teen with an unusual problem. I have the heart of an caveman. Sometimes I sit still hold my breathe just to see if my heart is beating most of the time its seems like its not. I could watch someone get hit by a car and just stand there and laugh. My soul is so dark that the only emotion joy when others get hurt. I think of killing myself everyday. I look for suicide methods and when i look it over i smile and say that’s a good way to die. I would kill myself but i have no opportunity […]
Category:
Rants
I think some people think after they die people will scream and cry and have so much sympathy for them and finally understand what they went through…that all their former or current friends will have so much guilt about it and loathe themselves….that the president of the united states will personally attend their funeral to pay his respects….that celebrities will come from afar to attend your funeral….well….I have some news for you….nobody will give a shit like you think they will….
Sure people might show up at your funeral crying and saying “how they wished they could have helped” and “how they loved you so much” […]
It’s been almost a year since I last really cut myself. I’ve slipped a couple of times, but never as deep as I had before. I still have the urge though, to do it again and I still want to kill myself. Sometimes it’s out of boredom sometimes out of desperation, but I’m too much of a coward to kill myself. I just want to slice my arms open and bleed out.
But, then I wonder, what if my sister found me in a pool of my own blood? What would happen to her when she grows up? What about my mom, I know she wouldn’t […]
am I the only one who has that feeling of taking your life for no reason at all. Well I have that feeling days when you just look in the mirror and say why am I here who am I. That moment when your mom looks at you and says I wish you weren’t born and you think to yourself I wish I wasn’t born too. You go to school joke around smile when with your friends but in your head your like when can I go when will death visit me. Telling someone you just want to die but they just look at you […]
As the minutes continue to tick by it’s like  silent electric shocks inside me. I don’t jump or scream, but the pain is as real as my hand. I have to give my eyes credit for all the tears they’ve cranked out again and again. I’ve almost become convinced that there is no reason I am here but to suffer. We are born to be broken. And if I leave right now, no one would miss me. No one except my family even knows who I am. I’ll be on the college paper for a day and be forgotten the next. I always am forgotten […]
Why am i living? I don’t want to be here i have nobody I feel constant pain everyday I don’t know what I’m doing anymore…
Well, I’ve been bullied for more than 11 years, 8 of them were really worse. It started all at primary school at the age of 4. For the first in my life I went to school. But after a while my classmates didn’t wanted to play with me any more, or I had the ‘not-populair’ role. When we had to play outside, I played usually alone. Not because I didn’t wanted to play with them, but how hard I tried, they didn’t wanted to play with me. This all may seem very innocent to you, but it was the beginning of all the problems I […]
All that I feel is emptiness within me. I feel so alone so insecure no one understands how I truly feel. I feel so trapped like a rat in a cage. Never have I more then recently thought of ending it all I have nothing to live for no one to keep me going  I have hurt a great deal of people in my life im a wreck.I no longer want to feel I no longer want to have to deal with it all drinking has only made me feel worse drugs have only made me clutch deeper within a shell within me IM LOSING […]
I’ve struggled with severe depression for 6 years now. I have been hospitalized twice for suicidal thoughts and close attempts. I have been a self harmer for 4 of these 6 years.  I’ve tried all the medications, I’ve tried all the therapy, I’ve tried everything. nothing significant happened in my life to make me feel this way, its just the way I am. chemical imbalance bullshit. my close family is aware of my depression, yet they don’t know that I struggle every single day just to wake up and get myself out of bed. They don’t know that I’m failing college and close to dropping out. I’ve lost my […]
i have been friends with my friend (who we will call clair) for 7 years and friends with my other friend (who we will calldave) for jus about 1yr now clair and dave have started dating but clairs 20 (21 soon) and dave 15 (jus turned a month ago) and are dating the whole situation is makin me sick even wen i hear other people talki about it . i seem to b the only one hu dis situation disgusts. im acc considering not speaking to either of dem again. so i wanna ask you guys a few questions and i know if dave […]
well.. at the moment ive totally fucked it all up..
i fked up my job, and im back in school.. but still..
i kinda don’t socialize anymore and i don’t really make the effort to see my friends cuz i’m embarrased with myself.. you know how it is.. when you all meet up they ask so what’re you doing now? oh i’m back in school.. im fkin 29 years old..
so i just dont get out there anymore and i’m justifying by telling myself.. ok u get out there when u get ur shit together.. am i being an idiot? i am an idiot anyways. i admit it. […]
Thanksgiving break just ended yesterday and I got to be home for five days, my first day back I did nothing. but the second day I spent sitting at home until my brother came to hang out for a few hours which was all good. Thursday was thanksgiving with my sisters family that I don’t know because we have different moms so it was awkward and all. But Friday was my favorite day of break and the reasoning behind why I am a horrible person. Friday I spent the day cleaning the apartment until my sisters boyfriend came home from work where we sat on […]
I’m 15, and will be 18 in 3 years.
Growing up is scaring me more and more.
Of course I know it’ll happen, but so soon?
I’m not even sure what I want to do with my life.
When I’m 18 I’m moving to California, I do know that.
I’m worried most, because when I do move there, I won’t know a single person
and my family will be over 5 states away.
I’m sad enough as is, but I worry what will happen when I’m left alone.
Can I stop aging?
Can I […]
No fucking wonder I don’t have friends (according to my parents). And pretend to be depressed and tried to kill myself for attention.
I’m an 18 yr old college student so I stay home for breaks. I see my parents for like 10 minutes. First they dis my new tattoo, it’s on my ear. Which I don’t mind that they just said I look trashy. Then I warn my dad about dying my hair an orangish color. Well apparently that makes me trashy too.
So moral of the story, I don’t get a long with my parents and I’m becoming more of a freak by the day, […]
if you are reading this, well then I’m talking to you.
I think i might be lesbian or at least bi?
its crazy but i think dykes are cool and i would date one but i would call it lesbian (unless the were uncomfortable with me calling them my boyfriend)
idk its all new and i fell for her but i havent seen here and i could have TWICE Â i guess its not meant to be?
fgsgsougfs arrghhh idk im so conflicted
Hey guys.. Well it’s been awhile and I just wanted to say yeah… I’m cutting deeper… I just kindof wanna rant so I guess I will haha ^-^’… Well let me start by saying that it’ll be my 5th year cutting in August 2014 and I’m pretty addicted… My past was horrible but I mean I’m sure yours was worse…. :/ :c well anyways currently my family (Mother and one of my sisters and I) can’t even buy food… Not even from the dollar menu! Our family other than us three is so rich the give no frucks about us. It’s pretty sa when the […]
i really cant do this anymore. i cant live my life like there is nothing wrong anymore, i cant live a LIE. Its just not in my nature. I have no clue on what i want on ANYTHING, i am a horrible decision-maker every choice in my life has been horrible from choosing to go to parties and getting raped with no knowledge of the event except for trace strobelight like memories, yet this still wasnt the only time i was raped/molested, sometimes its just hard to think of a safe place anymore even though its all ended, because in my mind it hasnt, one […]
I feel so disturbed, like I’m  going to puke from how upset I am.
I just felt so distant from people today; I knew the people I saw weren’t malicious, but I couldn’t help but feel so far away nevertheless. It made me real lonely.
Then I was pretty much ignored by someone who was supposed to be a friend, and I snapped. My eyes got sore with held back tears and I drifted even further from people,where I was only feeling a constant pain. The worst thing about it all was that inside I felt terrible, but in the crowd I was in at the time […]
Why is it that people think that just because they don’t believe in God, an afterlife, or anything spiritual that it actually will not affect them when they die. I hear people everyday say that oh i don’t believe in afterlife so i will just cease to exist when i die. Â I personally believe in and worship the Christian God of the Bible and Jesus, Â not to shame those who don’t. I fully understand that there is a distinct possibility that I worship a God that isn’t real. And I’d be just as happy to cease existence as to go to heaven, almost more so. […]
I’ve been awake. But asleep inside. I hate being alone, but i don’t like company. I miss you like hell. But i won’t let you know.
I’m well aware of how it aches , and you still won’t let me in.
Asleep or dead.