I am stuck between wanting to die and not wanting to die. I think i’m a living paradox. A messy paradox. I don’t know but I’m scared of the possibilities that each has. I don’t want to live in this selfish world anymore but i don’t want to be selfish too just because I want to die and leave this cruel place. I’ve been Having suicidal, anxious, and depressing thoughts for years and I just wanted it to stop. Everyday is Like a triP to a dark forbidden forest, and a day with an endless rain. It’s as if I’m drowning in a pool of […]
I can’t breathe even if i want to
Helpless, I drowned in the sea of questions
Will there be another tomorrow?
Will there be no more sorrow?
Will there be a love left for me to borrow?
I got hired. How the fuck did I get hired for a job, where I purposely tried to fail the interview? Either they’re desperate, or I suck at failing. I could just turn this job down, but I hope to get some dough to go to truck driving school, but even that is wishful thinking. Silly girl, still thinking that you’re going to go somewhere in life. Just wait, my parents will ruin it. How dare me try to make something of myself. Truck driving sounds more awesome than being a nurse, which my parents didn’t support either. They just want me working mediocre jobs […]
Why not is my answer, the question? oh that’s why should someone want to kill themselves.
I have for as long as I can recall wondered hey, what’s the point. Still, at 42 years of age I really do not get it. Some clever clogs who went to university will claim I am depressed and should take some tablets or go to therapy but that’s just an easy get out. I have done that and nothings changed.
I am as I type this neither under the influence of drugs, alcohol or any other stimulant that may alter the mind of a so called normal person so […]
PLEASE READ…
I know my own little segment I am about to write may be pointless to most people, but I want to share my story to some people. To all those people, learning how to tie a noose, or learning what you can drink to die faster, or even learning the best pill to take to end your life, please don’t. As a child of suicide, I’ve come to realize how goddamn pointless other people’s pleas to not end your life can be. I mean, I tried to end my life a total of 10 or 11 times, I really stopped keeping track after the […]
This is a hard topic for me to talk about. I have never told anyone before, but I need to know. I noticed that I have been looking online a lot for pornography and sex videos, and I have had sex, but I dream about it a lot. I am a teenage guy and I am wondering if it is normal or if I do it for self harm. I am started to get blisters and a rash around my area and it is painful, but I can’t stop. I what to have sex, but since I can’t, I feel sad and lonely. Is there […]
Ever since I was a little girl I always asked questions about my little sister.. The sister my mother gave up for adoption. Our mother was a drug addict who chose men over her kids and is STILL continues doing drugs. my life was very rough but I was always the type to wish for a happily ever after… So I made excuses after excuses for my mom. She got pregnant not to long after she gave my sister up for adoption but abused pills which led to a stillborn.. My other baby sister Seirra (May she Rest with the angels) … My mother then […]
Other people, unpredictability, and lack of any coherent plan on behalf on a single human being I have ever depended upon.
Those are a short grouping of the overall things that will someday (probably soon) slip a pretty little……
I’m not going to talk about that. Point is, method decided upon. Point is if someone wasn’t coming home in an hour and I could find a decent place to hide my body I would do it. Because no on fucking cares about my recovery. They all fucking care that I don’t exit. Oh yes, plenty of care and love when I threaten. It’s like I have a […]
I don’t know if i have anger issues but i do know that i get irritated too often and i just feel so bad that my head itches and i just have this strong urge to hit my head on wall and throw things. I do hit my head sometimes but when i do i would feel anxious because my roommate is beside me so i just cut things like my hair and paper and maybe burn some things too to ease whatever im feeling inside. AM I CRAZY?
I’ve recently decided to commit suicide. Im comfortable with this decision and Im excited to take the journey into the great unknown. I’ve recently made a shitfest of my life and there’s no fixing it at this point. The pain Ive caused and the pain Ive felt are just unfixable.
To preface all of this, I used to be a heroin addict. Ive been clean for 3 years but I still get withdrawals from time to time.
Two years ago I met a girl. She was great. We clicked right off the bat. Started going out and she got pregnant within a month. She left the […]
Fisrt of all I’m not proud of this. I’ve never thought I would be publishing something in a page like this. I guess there’s a first time for everything.
Second, I’m spanish that’s why my grammar sucks, pretty much that.
I have no idea where should I start. I’ve been depressed for a lot of years, I tried to kill myself a couple of times but I didn’t suceed.
Background:
My parents are not together, they divorced when I was eight. My mother started returning really late from work, kids started bullying me at school, but I could handle it, until I was twelve. My father was getting married […]
I never understood when it comes to being selfish? Yes I understand when someone is greedy and and don’t share anything. But when someone is sad, depressed and suicidal; everyone says you are selfish even though it isn’t our fault. So it makes no sense that people say that we are selfish, but we are not to blame. And it’s our own body, if we have no debts to pay and don’t have anything that has to be paid for, we should have the right to do what we want with our body.
If I’m alone, I’ve done it to myself. Nobody likes a loser
I can see the reasoning behind keeping a site like this….well….discrete, I guess. But, you know, I’ve wanted, on a couple of occasions, to sign in and TALK to people (when I’ve been NEAR FUCKING KILLING MYSELF!!), but I can’t figure out how to fucking LOG IN so I can COMMUNICATE!!! WTF?!!!
There’s no LOG IN details when you visit this site! You may be DESPERATE – and you may well be RIGHT ON THE FUCKING EDGE AND DESPERATE TO TALK TO LIKE-MINDED PEOPLE, but……how the fuck do you GET IN!????????
I managed to log on ONLY because I inadvertantly clicked on somebody’s POST! Is that how […]
A few days back er 13th April to be exact, a friend of mine just awkwardly confessed that he had feelings for me. I had was honest and told him I liked him too but am not willing for a relationship. So we keep what we had which was great. A friendship where I’m not judged for anything I say or do. Somehow we just click. It’s painful to see him hate himself and hurt himself but he has pulled me out of the self harming phase I’ve been in for years. We’ve both been having a really crappy few days. I’ve been crying myself […]
I read other stories here for a while and decided to post my own here because I’m through with this shit. If you’re easily triggered then leave now because I’m not holding back because I’ve been through both fucked up and weird shit. Fair warning: I might ramble at times.
I’ve had a shit life for quite a while now and I’m officially done with it. I’ve been through a shit school system and graduated, dealt with my dumbass parents until my dad fell off a roof during a job (good riddance. Bastard left us in a financial mess) and my mom died in 2010. I […]
First post.
Two things.
1) I’m starting to enjoy classical music.
That can’t be good , only faggots and serial killers enjoy classical.
2) I kinda feel like killing a lot of people/dying.
Mostly out of habit http://north-node.tumblr.com/post/83509296777/north-node-in-libra
I’m… working on it.
Anyways. Enough about me.
Watch this if you’re a whiny ***** and you have solvable problems https://youtu.be/3oE_sjqklLQ
Good luck out there.
My girlfriend of almost three years just left me with no explanation, Im just looking over pictures of us together and i cant stand it. I had just gone with my friend to get an engagement ring just five months ago. i made the last payment on it just last week. I was going to ask her to marry me at our favorite cafe, it was where we first met. i had stopped her from suicide after she had lost her father and now im honestly the one whos trying. since that night we had made more memories in a few years than i had made […]
I cannot stop the thoughts and images bombarding my brain day in day out. How can I stop this madness!?