Hi,
this is my first post here, so sorry in advance if I’m bad at this, also sorry for any bad grammar, English is not my native tongue…
I only found this site today and spend the last few hours reading stories and I noticed that nearly everyone here has more reason to quit their life than I do… There are so many authors who had a horrible past or who have to live with illnesses and physical disabilities, I don’t want to make it sound wrong, but I can totally understand depression and suicidal thoughts in some cases. I even understand these thoughts in people […]
Category:
Rants
I’m sorry for losing who I was and killing the girl you loved…and I’m sorry that you miss her..she is gone and left all the broken parts of herself with me…I pick up the pieces one by one hoping I can put her back together…but just when I think I might have this puzzle of pieces worked out I look down to see more pieces than there were before…and realize that all my effort, sweat, and tears were for nothing but this hollow person I’ve become..alone and misunderstood…always wanting a man that loves a girl that I no longer know how to be. I will […]
I refuse to consider myself suicidal, I merely enjoy the idea of my life ending. Although I am too cowardly to go through with it.
The idea of living in this awful place simply disgusts me to the point that It’s led me to cutting my arms and legs.
The worst part is, I have no reason to be feeling such feelings, my life is not hard, nor demanding, nor tragic.
Am I ungrateful for wanting to end it?
The only comfort I’m getting these days is from visions of ending it…
I would… But it is going to be terribly hard on my family.
I haven’t lived for myself…
And now…
I can’t even die for myself…
It couldn’t be any worse that this… Could it?
New member here, please forgive me if this is too long of a read.
No faith in me because of my ASD label
I’ve been struggling with suicidal thoughts here and there for the last 10+ years. It begins from when I was a small child. You see, I was diagnosed with autism when I was about 6 years old mostly because of my speech delays and have had problems from the get go. The teachers often treated me like an idiot, and resulted in me reading at a kindergarten reading level until I was in 4th grade because my parapro only let me read some dragon […]
Lately I’ve been like all over the place. I am definitely not bi-polar. But it’s like one minute I’ll be feeling super up and motivated and the next I’m just totally emotionally wrecked. Also, I’ve been having weird issues like my spelling is all whacked out and my wording is all bizarre. I used to have impeccable english skills and now it’s like I’ll re-read some of the things I post here and I’m like, “Wow, did I write that?” I have a pretty good sense of humor about it. But still.
A also deactivated my facebook. No idea why I did that. […]
I would write out a suicide note, but then they’d remember me. I wouldn’t want that, now would I? I have caused enough pain and suffering to everyone around me; I don’t need to make it worse. I honestly don’t even know why I am keeping myself alive.
Yes I do. It’s not even for the noble cause of saving my family that I keep saying it is. I wish it were. I wish I was a better person. But, no. I am still me. The same old awful me that had to be fucking dragged out of the womb. The same old awful me who […]
I am aggravated. Aggravated doesn’t really cover it, but that’s what I’ll say. Stressed-out-of-my-damn-mind is more accurate. But that doesn’t matter. I must be doing it to myself; no one else my age is stressed. It’s just me “seeking attention”. But, of that were really the case, I would at least hope that I would have realized that it hasn’t been working by now.
I am too afraid to live my life. This probably makes no sense to anyone, but I’m not writing this shit to be relatable or whatever. I’m writing this in hopes that I won’t want to die by the end of it. […]
Hi, my name is Tasha, and I’m, I don’t know, new here? I stumbled across this website while researching overdose methods. This seems like the perfect place to let everything out, I guess. So I guess I’ll start from the beginning. When I was six years old, I was living with my mother and step dad, Jason. Jason always made me uncomfortable and then one day it happened. He molested me. It lasted for a little over a year. My mother was always too high to ever care or even notice. When I moved back with my dad, everyone noticed how I wasn’t the same, […]
Not knowing what my future is going to hold is honestly starting to suck. I know we aren’t supposed to know, but I’m so scared for me and my husband right now. He isn’t okay and I know he’s scared. I hate myself for not knowing what to do. I’m scared for not knowing what this next year of medical bullshit we’ll have to go through brings. I’m scared I might hurt myself or even that I’m already at that point because I just don’t know.
I don’t know why I logged in here today. Or why I chose to tell you these things. It might […]
Hey SP,
I am pretty active on here, I’m mean I read all of your post. But I need some help. So I am not happy, but not sad or depressed, but I do self harm for enjoyment. Not because I am trying to deal with my emotional pain and I change it to physical pain.
Why do I do this?
If any of you could conact me, please do
Kik: Cancersurvivor05
Email: bobs65325@gmail.com
I think I might actually be past the point of no return. I can’t see a future anymore, and to be completely honest I don’t think I want to. I know my reasons are stupid. There’s nothing noble or pure about me. I’m selfish and greedy and weak above all. Happiness isn’t waiting for me here. I’ve never belonged here. I have no passion for anything anymore. I don’t know if I ever did. I don’t want to lock myself into a career that will leave me feeling unfulfilled, especially if I add the fact that I have to put in so much unnecessary and […]
At the age of 17 I was diagnosed with clinical depression, split up with my girlfriend, stopped eating for 1 week, stopped drinking water, lost 3 stone in just 2 weeks. Fluoxetine 60mg a week makes you feel empty, emotionless… No happiness, no sadness; just a zombie. You question your purpose more than ever in that state, “Why am I here…” “Why am I alive” “I’m useless” “No one cares”. I attempted suicide 3 weeks later, sometimes even the saddest people don’t have the strength to go through with it all the way. I was later admitted to see a psychiatrist weekly under the suspicion […]
I should just let him fuck me whenever he wants. Even if I have his words playing in my head over and over. Even though I’m so stressed out that my period actually stopped for two months. I tried to reach out to people. Tried to find a friend in those who were there before but that was a mistake. I go online and type “My boyfriend wants to have sex but I don’t”. Found ONE article in which the answer-er was sympathetic. The rest were all leaning towards compromise. “It’s your obligation as a woman to meet your mans needs.” Go fuck yourself you […]
Lately I’ve realized I’ve been crying in my sleep. It happens at least once or twice a month. This is weird because it has never happened to me but suddenly this year it started up (about a few months back). I consciously know I’m doing it, but, I cannot stop myself or wake myself up. This may sound odd but it hurts when I cry in my sleep too. I can’t explain it but from what I can remember It hurts my head..
I really hope these won’t be frequent..
Forgive me for the aggressive, hastily written few paragraphs
I cannot help but be angry with myself for all the pointless bullshit I’ve put myself through. Fuck, man, I just want to die. But that’d be pointless. I’d be leaving behind a path of selfish destruction.
I’m so fucking selfish for feeling this way. So fucking guilty of this. Of hating myself and my life and knowing that there isn’t a single possible outcome to my life that would be something I’d like. I’m lonely. I’m really fucking lonely. I don’t have anyone. Nobody. (Not romantically. Nothing. The only person […]
Hey guys. I just need some advice. I tried to get an appointment with my therapist but I couldn’t get one till next week. I figured I would just ask people here because I need these thoughts out of my head.
My mom is cheating on my dad, and my dad doesn’t know, but I do. I think it has been going on for about a month, but I finally saw proof last night. I feel kind of obligated to tell him but I don’t know if I should or not. Tomorrow is my birthday, and my grandparents are supposed to be coming over. My cousin […]
Love comes unexpectedly, it feels like a gust of wind strong enough to knock you off your feet, powerful enough to take your breath away. I feel as if God sent me an angel to temporarily take away the darkness that’s consumed me. But I’m already so far gone I’m bringing him down with me, and I see it in his face every time I lash out at him. I know he cares so much for me but I push him away when he tries to get closer to me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, my whole life I’ve longed for the feeling […]
Every day I find myself seeing something that reminds me of you and I wonder.. do you do the same thing? When you smell vanilla candles do you think of me? I wonder do you open up all of you media eagerly hoping that today was the day you heard from me again. I wonder when you walk around the mall do you think of how well our hands fit together. I wonder if you think of me when you hear Canon. Uou know.. I perfected it for you. I can hit all the vibratos now. Do you ever think about how we could have […]
It’s been months since I’ve started to come here to find comfort, just seeing people as eager to quit this world as me makes me feel better, I felt safe, and comfortable each time I opened up the website, so I’ve decided to create an account too.
My issue is not necessarily coming from a particular event but much more from a profoundly anchored existantial boredom. Each passing day is the same, even though I know there is so much I have not seen? Being human is such a weird experience. There are so many things I want to say I don’t know what to start […]