Category:

Suicidal Survivors

For those who have survived suicide.

The attempts I lived through

by Blood_Lotus 3/31/2016

written by Blood_Lotus

Hello again,

feel like I am close to rockbottom again, the intent is strong to try and commit again.

Yet I always remember how I lived through my previous attempts when planning.

in 2012 I finally passed my theoretical and oral exams for the vocational School I attended and had to find an internship for 6 months, then the last exam would take place. I wasn’t proud or felt accomplished that I was in the last third of my Training. There was no Feeling but emptiness.
I started the internship, kept my facade but two or three weeks in I snapped. My father took medication for his heart […]

3/31/2016 3 comments

2 Years Later

by 13vida 3/28/2016

written by 13vida

Oh my gosh, I have been trying to remember the name of this site for the life of me! I’ve looked every where for it for the past two years and then *BAM* I finally found it! No, I just went back through some of what I wrote and I feel bad for my past self; I was not a positive person, but I know it wasn’t my fault that I was depressed. No, here’s what’s happened the past couple years – p.s. sorry for the long story.

My best friend moved to Arizona in December of 2014; I missed her like crazy. I went out […]

3/28/2016 7 comments

Untitled

by imokaybutnotreally 3/25/2016

written by imokaybutnotreally

“You have so much to live for.”

I don’t know how may more times I can listen to that. Anytime I talk to any friends or family it’s the same thing. They start by telling me how I am going through a rough patch and that it will all get better. They don’t offer any real advice. They half ass their responses and tell me how my future is going to be just fantastic. I am getting frustrated even thinking of it now. A severe case of anxiety and depression is no “rough patch”. I have been dealing with these issues since before I can remember. […]

3/25/2016 1 comment

Still alive

by Drowning 3/21/2016

written by Drowning

so last night thought iv had enough of this shitty life so I swallowed a bunch of pills layed down hopening for a nice send off but

guess what woke up in the hospital pale looking like shit then get home to find out the medic took the rest of the pills so I some how need to get more then and try a different method

3/21/2016 30 comments

Into the Wild

by secret me 3/18/2016

written by secret me

i was accepted to Stanford.

everyone is happy.

So why not me?

pressure pressure pressure

I don’t want to go to medical school.

I don’t want to live other people’s expectations, dreams, morals.

left.

Heading towards Oregon and I’ve never felt so free.

Ive been suicidal my whole life.

All I wanted was freedom and it was waiting for me right outside my door this whole time.

I finally listened to my instincts and went against odds.

The only thing I want to say to people who are unhappy- is just to do what’s makes you happy on your our own means.

follow your instincts.

Im free

and so the adventure begins.

3/18/2016 8 comments

I Remember

by DexQuietlyBreaking 3/17/2016

written by DexQuietlyBreaking

I remember their voices as I lay there in the hospital bed.

Asking over and over why I did it. Why I took those pills. Why I wanted it all to end.

I remember laying there and for a split second I didn’t know. Here’s these people standing over me, tears in their eyes, and broken hearts beating in their chest.

Whether I were their kid, friend or brother, they all had a sign in their eyes that a piece of them almost died with me.

This is what I think about when suicide comes to mind.

Even if you want to die, you have to take a second to realize […]

3/17/2016 3 comments

I’m done with life

by N0Futur3 3/14/2016

written by N0Futur3

I’ve reached the very end upon which I will endure this existence. Preparations all set…… Going to end it with a drink. I’m done with this shitty world, i’m done dealing with parasitic, materialistic, deceptive people. I’m done dealing with “family” that lies, steals, and treats me like shit. Love does not exist in this ugly, putrid, infected world of racists, murderers, politicians, corruption, prostitutes, and abominations.
I rather be dead then live with the likes of you…. You who see the light in this world are the real freaks, psychopaths, and ones who need help. “chill out, think about the positive” that’s a pitiful […]

3/14/2016 24 comments

For the young people on this site

by BlueEyes 3/7/2016

written by BlueEyes

I read a lot of posts by people who seem to be in their early years (teens, 20’s) and it makes me feel sad that so many young people feel so hopeless. I understand though – I reached that point too when I was in college, and if not for a quick-thinking friend who grabbed my shirt I would have “fallen” out a 19th story dorm window. That was in 1983.

But once I was past college and on my own two feet I’ve lead an OK life, so I’m glad I didn’t kill myself back then. I got to experience life on my own terms. Sometimes I […]

3/7/2016 7 comments

I’m Already Dead

by Counting The Days Until I'm gone 3/6/2016

written by Counting The Days Until I'm gone

Rather than equivocating death, I have conceded that death has already bestowed its unrequited love upon me. Simply so, because though I still breathe, and whilst my heart still thumps, the mere essence which makes each of us has perished within me.

It is as if though I’m only being kept alive by a hypothetical respirator and though this hypothetical mechanisations is working tirelessly, what sense is the life that its saving. For that individual can no longer be happy, can no longer assimilate to usual locomotion, all that is left is his bodily mechanisations and, in actuality life has already left his body.

My body, however is […]

3/6/2016 11 comments

Ranting Bullshit.

by DarkDestroyer 3/5/2016

written by DarkDestroyer

My counselor told me that I need to spend time with people, that I’m alone too much. So I’ve been trying to spend time with people, people at school, people at work. I’ve been planning stuff with buddies and spending a lot of time with people who I can call buddies. The problem is that I still don’t feel right. See, before this I was always down and depressed and alone, but when I wasn’t alone I would sometimes (rarely) talk about my pain to people who I kind of trust (I don’t trust very much or very often), and I would feel this connection […]

3/5/2016 1 comment

Ending it tonight. Life doesn’t get better.

by N0Futur3 3/4/2016

written by N0Futur3

Wished I ended it that first night I joined. Life doesn’t get better, it’s just a lie. Funny how people say suicide is selfish, what is selfish is them expecting someone to continue living a life of pain because they want them to. You say family, friends, community get hurt… Fuck them they don’t give a shit about me. No matter how hard I try, it is not good enough in their eyes. We live in a fucked up society and world, fake people smiling…. They are the ones who need real help. I’m done….. I’m done living this fucked up life in this fucked […]

3/4/2016 37 comments

Warrior

by BloodShallShed 3/4/2016

written by BloodShallShed

This song reaches out to those of us who have been told that they can’t do something, or to those of us who have had their hopes, dreams, and hearts ripped out. You can keep going. Inside all of us, there’s a warrior <3. Stay safe everyone.

-BloodShallShed

3/4/2016 0 comment

Hey guys (Long but please read)

by BloodShallShed 3/4/2016

written by BloodShallShed

I know that sometimes life is rough, and you feel that you can’t make it through the night or through the day. Some of us feel it necessary to drink or do drugs just to make it through. But I just want you to know that everyone is special, and that even though life doesn’t seem worth living, it’s best to keep going. There may be a nice surprise around the corner, and it’s just for you. I can’t tell you what it is, I don’t know what lies ahead, I don’t know if it’ll get worse before it gets better. But I know that […]

3/4/2016 12 comments

Stories in the Dark

by BloodShallShed 3/3/2016

written by BloodShallShed

This song helped me when I was down, it helps you realize that you have people that care about you, even if they are far away or gone themselves. Stay safe everyone

-BloodShallShed

3/3/2016 2 comments

For everyone that feels their life is done..

by BloodShallShed 3/3/2016

written by BloodShallShed

This is one of my favorite songs to listen to when I’m down. I hope that you all like it. Stay safe everyone.

-BloodShallShed

3/3/2016 5 comments

Purpose in Life

by lxmyrick 2/29/2016

written by lxmyrick

To let you all know that think about suicide that life is for a reason. I have suffered from brain cancer and depression; and I thought that my life was worthless. But I started to see a therapist and I took medicines. Now I am in school and I help anyone with common issues.
So I was 5 years old and I was told that I had cancer. I have had lots of treatment, with medicine with lots of needles. So I had 4 years of treatment and I have been in remission ever since. Then after being a 6 years cancer survivor, I started […]

2/29/2016 3 comments

Justreggy!

by CatchTh3Bus 2/27/2016

written by CatchTh3Bus

Took me awhile for life to kick me down but the short end is I have nobody to talk to about suicide without getting constantly locked away and re-traumatized and treated like a caged animal. I had 1 partial suspension trial and got caught and ever since then I’m being constantly harassed and the police also took away all my completely legal RC powder due to a person calling them on me after I said some things about the forbidden talk about choosing when to die. This happened to me when I was a teen when I had some foxy methoxy, my rents called the […]

2/27/2016 3 comments

Where are we now?

by Knightofdoom 2/23/2016

written by Knightofdoom

How can we all be so sad? Do you guys actually feel connected ? I see some old and some new, do we really help, or prolong doomed options?

I’m a drifter I’m come and go. . .

Cause I one day I find hope and the next dispair…

Which I believe is worse, my duel personalites are tearing me apart…

Where are you? Deep in your hole climbing or looking down?

2/23/2016 11 comments

Am I going to hell?

by jrmeador94 2/23/2016

written by jrmeador94

I had everything going for me before college. I grew up in a great family, we loved each other, and I had an awesome relationship with God. Seriously, he was my best friend. One of the things I couldn’t understand, though, was grace. How the hell could he put the sins of nations onto one man and just forget what we’ve done?

Im in college now. I wanted to die 5 times in the last 2 years. I just couldn’t make the pain stop. So I let go of my faith in God. I don’t really care about sin, being reckless, or being happy. The only […]

2/23/2016 9 comments

Old Blood and Drunken Giraffes

by Cordless 2/20/2016

written by Cordless

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen my wrists bleed.

I remember trying to slice my wrists in high school, and it accomplished nothing. I received no compassion. Instead people were disgusted and angry, and they scolded me and tried to shame me about it. I remember a slightly older classmate looking at my bandaged-up wrists saying “You’re going to have those scars forever and remember that dumbass thing you did.”

Here I am decades later, and the wrist has healed so well that I can’t even remember which wrist it was…. maybe it was both.

I tried OD’ing, and that was equally unsuccessful.

I didn’t keep cutting […]

2/20/2016 16 comments

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