For those who have survived suicide.
I am thankful for my misery when it is consistent, because I already do not feel I deserve what I have, and can only see my life getting worse.
I am in my last year of highschool and I have never been so alone and afraid in my entire life. During exams last year I went to a party and did something stupid that caused a bunch of girls to say hurtful things to me and it just pushed me over my limit. I’ve dealth with their cattiness for the past 2 years and I was done with it. I called my mom to pick me up and she couldn’t even tell I was breaking down. It wasn’t her fault because I am good at pretending I am okay. When we got home she […]
I keep thinking what am I suppose to do? What is the purpose of all of this? Where do I come from? What should I do? Am I just another insignificant entity? Is it true that this universe where made from nothing? If it true, then all of this is for nothing too? So everything in here is because an accident? Because there is a coincidence that my great great great great great great great great (go on) grand parents met so I’m here? Without a purpose? Without a goal? I’m just here (POOF) and then die eventually because that’s it, I can’t fail because […]
To say no one cares about me would be a lie. I know I am loved. I know that if I pulled something off that I would hurt a lot of people. I have many friends. I am in a leadership position in the military (not stating what branch). Yet I still constantly think about ending my own life. The thoughts probably come every 5 days or so. I just feel as if theres nothing for me or like I’m going nowhere. But this isnt something that just came about. It has been something led into.
When I was about 10, I became the victim of […]
Sometimes I just spend my night thinking how this family will function after I’m gone. Some nights I’ll cry hysterically because I know no one in this family will ever self reflect, see what they do to me, how they destroy me. Some nights I keep blaming myself for everything that happened, apologizing for not dying in the hospital after I was admitted with fever after 14-02-1994. Some nights I lose myself in every memory that was created and end up fainting, screaming in agony. Some nights I try my best to cut every flaw away, break my skin in the hope that my spirit […]
Note: This is my personal experience and I tried to explain everything I could, I could explain better but I’m not a writer,I’ll write whatever comes in my mind and sorry for the English grammar mistakes 🙂 So, let me show you how to die without pain, it works 100% and I know it is going to be a long article (may be) but it worth reading. 🙂 I’m not here to waste your time or make you feel bad, I want to show you, […]
Hello, there. I know life has become so bad, but we can be together forever. No one cared about you but I’ll care for you. You’ve gone into a deep depression and I can help you to get out of your depression and I can make your life happy 🙂
I need a girl’s friendship. I’m just a normal boy looking for someone special in my life! I don’t know if I can find someone to talk to. Even if My life was perfect it was like mess for me, I was depressed too but I learned to getup and change my life. My life is […]
No one sees me falling
No one sees me dying
No one sees me crying.
Not even the rain.
I’m tired, overwhelmed, uninspired, afraid, hurting, uninspired and I don’t know how to get past it. I might not even know what it is I’m trying to get past. I try something new only to spin my wheels. I’m living my life on repeat, with the same worn out patterns and themes playing again and again.
I’m at the point where I can’t make a difference between right or wrong since I fight the urge to accept that controlling someone’s else life is a right thing to do.
I want to live and die at the same time. It is so hard to have these two thoughts in my head at the same time because they are complete opposite things. I will imagine killing myself and how great it would be for me, and then I’ll remember that I have other people I have to consider. That if I would die my family would be devastated. That’s not me being vain, that’s me acknowledging that I do have people who love me. Death is seen as a tragedy, and if I killed myself I would knowingly and deliberately ruin people’s lives. That is […]
I am full of anguish and regret for everything I have done and I sometimes wonder if it is worth it to live.
Living day to day is the only way I can go on because thinking about my future is the saddest thing I can imagine.
Through the dark days
I don’t blame anyone for the hand I’ve been dealt with in life. Truthfully I have never indulged in self-pity, self-hate certainly and the desire to end my life yes but not pity, nor do I want pity, more than anything I need to share my story, to get it off my chest, and to thank those angels who helped me when I didn’t want to help myself.
Ă‚Â su·i·cideĂ‚Â Ă‚Â
/ˈso͞oiˌsīd/
Noun
The action of killing oneself intentionally: “he committed Ă‚Â Ă‚Â Ă‚Â suicide at the age of forty”.
Verb
Intentionally kill oneself.
Synonyms
noun.
self-destruction – self-murder
verb.
take one’s own life – make away with oneself
The word that ended it all, my simple life […]
Okay, I`m nervous, very, very nervous since I don`t think people will read this, but here I go.
Is it clear to you?
My perspective of things.
Is it clear to you?
As it is to me.
Is it clear to you?
The pain I`ve suffered.
Is it clear to you?
My strange everlasting wonder.
What`s wrong with you?
Since I`ve told my story.
What`s wrong with you?
I can see your confusion.
What`s wrong with you?
Why do you run away?
What`s wrong with you?
You stare at me with hate.
What`s wrong with me?
I can`t look at you.
What`s wrong with me?
I’ve got iron over my heart. Ă‚Â They see the tattered sweater.
I’ve got a wonderful smile. They see a messed up child.
I try to understand where they are coming from. But I can’t.
How dare they make up a quirk in exchange for a good trait.
Maybe it’s all in my head.
Maybe I should let it go like everyone says to.
When I look in the mirror, I am disgusted with the person I see staring back.
Whenever I stand near a ledge, I am seized with the urge to throw myself over to certain death.
I can’t stop the feeling i’ve been hiding like almost a year. Is haunting me again; i thought it was in the past. But i was lying to myself, even tho everyday i think about it for a minute, is part of my everyday memories and feelings; Ă‚Â it comes back at night like a nightmare. I can’t control it, maybe is a sign that, it still remains to let me know that it’s not dead at all. That i can still save it. Save us. It won’t leave my head. That’s why i stay here.
when you feel that much at ease when you slit your wrists with that balde and you cant help but to do another cut you just have to feel the blood drip down onto the floor of the carpet in your bedroom and you feel like you have just let go of all your problems. so would this feeling be the same as dying making a big deep cut on the inside of my wrists and putting on that white ball gown and running the cold tap in the bath and you get in there and you feel the blood still dripping and that water […]