I was trying to get the Sky Sports main event channel up on a new package. Every other channel was working except this one,, the most important and valuable one because of live Saturday and Sunday premier league football. ” Not fucking working, every other station except the one I wanted”  I said out to her in the kitchen. She came in with tea and a large bar of Cadburys caramel chocolate, the best  version t hat has to be purchased independently of the multi pack, larger squares of chocolate. I was licking my lips. “Caramel, your favourite” she said handing me the tea and […]

Isn’t it funny how the shittiest people almost always have the best lives? So many good people get screwed, but all the shitty selfish dicks and cu.nts I know are living their best fucking lives. What a load of crock life is.

I mean I wouldn’t say ALL good people get screwed and ALL bad people wind up doing well BUT what I have seen IRL to the people that I personally know- that is mostly the case. The shittiest people have the best lives. The users, manipulators, liars, schemers, the super selfish, the ones that lack the most moral- THESE […]

I’m usually really good about being able to write out my feelings and right now I’m at a loss for words. I think because after so long i finally let someone in. I let him into my life. I let him see the darkest parts of me. I let him hear about my abuse. My love for pills. My severe depression. My anxiety. My hate for myself. For once I wasn’t sad I wasn’t fearful of being alone with a man. He didn’t take advantage of me. He didn’t scream at me for my fuck ups. I only ever asked for one thing and that […]

I’ve been trying to keep myself alive until I can actually afford the right equipment to make my exit. I can now buy my ******** tank and Gas Flow Regulator. It’s empowering to know I will finally be able to Exit On-Demand. With only a few breaths I will be able to leave all my misery behind.

Anybody regret anything? Or if you had the chance to undo / redo something, what would it be?

Me1- Should have gone for a different degree at a different university
Me2- Should not have quit my job / should have applied to others jobs
Me3- Should not have broken up with my ex (should have told him my depression, feelings)
Me4- Should have waited at least 1 day to drive back to DC
Me5- Should NOT have gone out that 1 fateful night, despite telling ex-friend NO a dozen times.
Me6- Should NOT have moved back home

Me7- Should not have worked so […]

Trigger Warning: past suicide attempts

Gosh, I do remember that I’ve been here since 2013.
So, I was in my early 20s when I first posted here. I know not many people post here anymore, and that’s a shame to see in some ways, but in other ways, I guess it’s a good thing? Everyone uses social media and stuff now I think.

Most of my life was in an abusive environment (my dad subjected me to constant emotional and psychological abuse). I do remember how completely awful my social skills were for many, many years (I’m self taught). I remember I used to just want to […]

I haven’t posted in a long time.
I don’t really like to write online much anymore (moreso pertaining to personal stuff) for various reasons.
I feel for anyone going through injustices, misery and suffering. Not that I can do anything and I’m sorry for that.
Humanity can be so cruel and continues to be so cruel.

It’s been nearly 2 years since my mum passed away.
I don’t mind my life at this point, but it’s just going nowhere, just like all the other years of my life.
I don’t even know what I want, I don’t know what I want to do, I’m just going […]

Interesting Video. What do you all think?

Tired of being human. Tired of living this life that involves these problems.

Take a look at this story- this is just ONE example of how fucked up society is, how fucked up people are in general. This asshole manager isn’t the only asshole acting like this. We see more and more stories of the shit ppl do- this is beyond Karens and Darens. Something is fucking wrong with ppl these days. Do you think so? Growing up, we didn’t see all these stories- but then I grew up before the days of the internet and social media. IDK if people have ALWAYS been this shitty, or it just wasn’t covered bc […]

Today is the day when I finally get all of my bad prison tattoos covered-up! Its taken years, and ive had to save up a ton of money for it. But its something I had to do for myself. Im going to feel SOOOO much better about myself after the day is done! Excited.

But I mention this here because I havent been any different from the rest of you. I was a drunken pessimist that had given up on life and the world. It turned out, climbing out of the hole is possible, although difficult. It isnt my intention to ever insert toxic positivity into […]

Have had a SHIT life since literally the day I was born. Been nearly half a century now and life has NOT gotten better, only WORSE.

-WHEN THE FUCK DO I GET A BREAK?
-WHEN WILL “THINGS GET BETTER?” as I’m constantly being told this by everyone for the past 22-32 years.

? :Tick tock.

? :What you gonna do about it, brother?

Trevor: I’m so sorry. I screwed it all up. I don’t even know what’s happening to me anymore.

?: You’ve gotta eat your vitamins and say your prayers! Oh yeah!

Rex: You’ve failed to keep yourself under control. You’ve officially lost yourself.

Trevor: What can I do here? I’m so stressed out. The lack of money. I’m in the worst shape of my life. I have to get myself going again.

?: You will never, EVER, be the same again!

Rex: You forgot about me for a long time, but I’ve been here, in the background. Trying to help you, […]