Hey I know it’s totally cheesy but you all have the strength to overcome your adversity. I believe God never gives us more than we can handle. But, even if you don’t believe in any god or any religion, I still believe that as humans we have the inner strength to persevere. I have gone through suicide attempts, bouts of mental instability, self injury, addiction, an abusive father, and I recently realized I was technically molested by my sister from the age of 4-10, I had just never thought of it like that cause she was only three years older than me and I forgot […]
I am writing this, mainly to get things out. I have nobody to talk to, and I want to explain my situation before I go.
When I was in primary school, life was okay, how can’t it be when your so young? I was very intelligent, a good kid, never really got into any trouble, and had some friends. When I was 10, I lost my father to a heart attack. This hugely affected my family, which already wasn’t a big family. Each day just walking around the house, I would randomly find my mum crying.
As I was so young, I managed to get past this, […]
going to fail A-levels –> have no opions if i cant get to uni –> dont have a passion to take as a degree –> my two ‘bestfriends’ are now in smitten ‘grown up’ relationships and have abanoned me –> my mum is so depressed she wont accept that i also have depression–> i have so many scars on my body that i will forever be wearing jumpers –> my savings are being used to keep the family house from repossession –>i dont have the motivation to try anymore –> no motivation to live, no motivation to die.
I’m getting worse mentally. Before I could hold it all in, now I burst into tears whenever I’m alone until I cant breathe and start shaking and feel sick. its so weird and I don’t like it. I get stressed out and scared more than I used to and its all starting to crumble and show on the outside. However I suppose on the good side I have stopped hurting myself. But I don’t know which is better to be honest, coz this shit is messing with me and I’m fed up of it, I’m fed up of being here.
This isn’t anything special. It’s just a poem I wrote at 5 am. Even though it’s not that great, it describes my inner turmoil.
I want to talk about this pain,
That I’ve felt was always in vain,
Do you really not see,
What’s become of me?
On silent nights,
I always fight,
As tears run down my eyes,
Each teardrop breaking my ties,
My ties with this world,
As I am hurled,
Into this insanity,
Which will never set me free.
My teardrops slowly become red,
Food for the blade that I’ve fed.
They tell me that all will be well,
While I slowly rot away in this hell,
Could they not tell […]
I have had postpartum depression for a few months now aggravated to suicidal ideation by medications. In a short period of time, my world fell apart and I don’t feel like myself anymore. It’s hard to live but it’s also so difficult to die:( Anyone feel similar?
Hi.
I’ve been going to this site for the longest time; reading the stories of other people, and I’ve been wanting to post for the longest time, but wasn’t able to. But now I have decided that I should. Because I feel so desperate.
I feel like I should tell you all a little bit of myself, so: I’m not comfortable telling you my real name (at least, right now); but I guess you can call me by my username or “Cheeky”. I’ve just turned 23 last December. I’m a guy. And — well. I am suicidal.
That’s all the information I feel comfy sharing at the moment. […]
nias
Why do I keep saying soon but never now.
My problems are never going away so why do I keep putting off my suicide, why do I keep saying I’ll just do this or that first. Do I really want to die? well, yes and no; yes, I’ve had enough of my depressing life and this world, but no, I still wish things could work out for me, how can that ever be though, I’m an ugly, paranoid, stupid waste of space. I’m stuck with depression and social anxiety, and the cause of said problems, a body that, due to toxin build-up, has created something horrible […]
I’m pretty sure I suffer of bipolar disorder and borderline disorder (I also think I got sexual hypoactive disorder but I don’t believe that’s a problem) because I got nearly all the symptoms for both of them:
-I’m extremely unstable,sometimes I easily get so angered that I feel a very strong urge to kill the person(s) that annoyed me (and I really tried twice),but also sometimes I feel so depressed or happy that I couldn’t get angry at all;
-I really wanna take drugs and I strongly doubt anyone will stop me;
-I got chronic feelings of emptiness pretty often;
-I harm myself many times (especially punch myself),generally because […]
This is my first post here. I’m sorry for the wall of text; I just need a place to vent these thoughts and I don’t know where else to go with them, as I haven’t really told the full story to anyone else like this. I hope this is the right place; if not, at least typing this out might help a little.
Where do I begin? I’ve been dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts for as long as I can remember. Growing up for me was a terrible experience. I was physically abused by my mother, my stepfather and my sister, often for no reason […]
Four years and I have felt nothing but anger and hate for the world and the people around me; until tonight. Tonight the passion died and with it my will to fight any longer.
1 hour and 30 minutes into new years and my mum stars just screaming at me like a fucking cow. Keep in mind that this was not the first time she shouted at me for no reason. I don’t know what i did wrong. I’m questioning myself over and over again. I’m planning either killing myself by and overdose or just fail but experience severe pain. Note that i come from a Muslim family even though in my perspective, i think that all religion are a joke. It is believed in Islam though that you will go straight to Hell if you self harm or […]
i just want to be free
hi my life sucks. My dad has beaten me since i was 5, nobody understands me, i disqualified from university, in finding no job in this third world country, no goal life. Even my parents just said to me ” kill yourself” this new years
Please tell me a way, so i can be free of this torment called life.
Could it just be to fucking perfect? Sometimes, I wish I was single, just so the level of pathetic I’m at won’t seem as bad. The New Year has come and I’m here, at home, doing nothing. Just sitting here, staring at the TV, fighting the fucking urge to go outside and freeze to death… Happy New Year and a kiss to my daughter. Thinking happily(or what’s left of the good side of my mood) that at least she is next to me.
This man, I say I love, is asleep, next to me. Hey, at least he sprung up 3 secs before the ball dropped […]
The title is courtesy to the song by Linkin Park.
Moving on though. Does anyone else cut just to see their blood? I mean I cut for the pain, I cut to feel again when I feel absolutely nothing, and sometimes I cut to focus on the physical pain rather than the emotional. Lately though I’ve been cutting to simply see my blood.
I want to cut deep enough so that blood drips down my arm, kindve like how you see in the movies. Except I can never get myself to bleed that much. Oh well, there’s still something fascinating about seeing your blood come out, the […]
my friend died. like 12 years a friend. a year ago. she had two kids. my boyfriend died. like 11 years a boyfriend… 7 months ago. my other friends died along the way… one even died on my birthday… damn it, bridgette. my best friend in high school hanged himself an hour after i dropped him off. yeah. when a person does it, the past tense is “hanged” and not “hung”… inanimate objects were hung, while people were hanged. ohhhh, the semantics and syntax of it all.
why… am i doing this again? if i ever kill myself, it won’t be from a lack of anything. […]
I am so very tired of living. It scares me how much I am. I am sitting at my computer, not looking at anything because I just don’t care. I am alone. I am lost and no one even knows.
I told my cat Charlie Chow Mein that one of my resolutions was to put him on a diet. This was his reaction…
hahaha
bet ya didn’t know cats could laugh did you?
What is your resolution this year?
I can’t quite bring myself to include the word “happy” although I wish I could. At least that is my sincere wish for all of you. But I know there is much pain and suffering, and these things make no distinction regarding new years, new days, hours or seconds.
As we do pass this sort of chronological demarcation, I genuinely hope that each of you can find the one hug, one smile, one friend or just one touch from another that makes a difference for you. If but one person finds a few moments of comfort it’s worth all the effort put forth to find it. […]
I am trying to find the guts to cut myself tonight. I have never done it but thought about it often. I am scared of the pain but feel like I need a release.