Why am I here on this planet? I hate being alive, I hate waking up each morning. Why am I here!? Why did God put me on this Earth? Why am I always so sad? I don’t deserve to be here, I’m an awful person. I’ve done nothing good so far in my life. I’ve only caused pain. Pain to the ones who care about me and love me. Why do I hurt the ones I love? I wish God would have given my healthy body to someone who is sick and dieing. They deserve it. I’m not doing anything good to my 16 year […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gq19VsaqIZg
http://amistillill.wordpress.com
Teachers,
I need you to understand that teens in your class struggle to answer a math problem, a book question, or 50 questions on a test, not because they don’t know the answer but because they’re struggling with life. When you call on a kid because you don’t think they’re “paying attention”, just remember that, that kid pays attention to every little thing. Remember that kid contemplated ending their life that night bc of people who suck. So excuse us teens for not being able to focus in class, when we’re too busy focusing on what that mean ***** said to us right before class. […]
I gave myself one week for me to change my mind, and to not execute my plan to attempt suicide. The day that I planned to execute my plan, and end my life was Friday. I told myself that if anyone showed that they actually cared about me, or if someone gave me a reason to live that I wouldn’t end my life. One of my ex-college professors called my cell phone this weekend. He asked if I was okay, and said that I seemed troubled the last time that he talked to me. I immediately tried to reassure him […]
We fall, me, atomically
The way of Labyrinth
I fall, drown, upside-down
Everlast to evermore, abyss
I am here but I don’t know who you are
The only counting the flower, the truth
The gold, the gold, the gold, black-heart
Double-H-Etch, I need the light and shady
I don’t need to, magnetic-rock, wizard
Take me to the wood, celestial
Shower in cold beer
Chained, albatross-protector
Aquarius
Fish
Black
White-Skull
2014 A.D.
Rotting-death
Magus
Sacred-Clown
Elephant-death
Will I ever breathe
Undead
My name is not important.
My story begins at a young age. I have always hated myself. At first, it was the little things. I hated my boring brown hair and yearned to be the beautiful blonde or the vivacious red head. I wished I could be shorter, I despised being a sky scraper among my peers. I wished my legs weren’t so hairy, I wished my hair wouldn’t curl at the ends. But these were minor things. I spent my time as an only child traipsing through the halls of my home while my neglectful parents tended to other things, more important than I. And […]
People say suicide is selfish because of all the people it hurts. Well I want to know how those who care expecting me to endure the pain that is my life is not selfish on their part. Do they not believe the extent or severity of the pain in my life? There has to be a point that they understand I have no hope or will to live another and that without ending my life I am suffering far more than they will endure from my absence. This theory, or social convention, or whatever it is is bullshit. Suicide is my choice and if anyone […]
Well, ok I do have SOME reason to be here. I have a story, a few actually, I like to share and write so this site seems perfect for me. But for right now I’m fine, not perfect but fine. I’ll share more of my stories on here later, but for right now I want to get settled in. I’ve been depressed 4 times in my short 16 years of life. 3 of those were real, mature depressions and I’ve been suicidal twice. My last depression nearly killed me. I’ll explain later, but I had also had an anxiety disorder and that opened the door […]
“Mad World”
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head, I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I’m dying
Are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It’s a very, very mad world, mad world
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
still sitting here hating everyone and everything…if its just a chemical imbalance then why is it not fixed? yeah things suck but they will not get any better either.
Wiki Social Avoidant Personality Disorder & there’s my life.
I have a genetic predisposition to social anxiety, as my dad told me he almost joined a monastery for this reason. I have early childhood emotional neglect from physical abuse, verbal abuse, & hours of forced solitude. Absent father, he was going to college. I have extreme peer group rejection, lost almost all my highschool friends right after due to an incident with ecstasy.
Everyone thinks I look OK. That’s because I’m good looking, I’m healthy because I know cardio & lifting reduces stress, as I have anger problems thanks to both genetics & upbringing again. I’m great […]
2 months before my 18th birthday i developed a horrendous condition called tinnitus, which is ringing in the ears or head. At first, although it was very bad, it didn’t cause me any issues, but it did never stop or go away. as the weeks went on my anxiety began to build, i couldn’t sleep and i was in a constant state of unprecedented despair. eventually the inevitable happened, i developed depression and life became unbearable. i couldn’t concentrate in school, dreaded and avoided social situations (including my 18th birthday) and could not stand anybody. But to cut a long story short i overcame this […]
Deep down I knew it all along; I knew I would relapse. I just didn’t know it would happen so soon after I started getting better. Maybe I wasn’t actually getting better? Yeah, I got a job and started doing voluntary work but my mind is still empty. For more than 2 years now it’s been 97% empty, remaining 3% were occupied by my feeling of worthlessness and grief towards life. I stopped daydreaming long time ago. Nothing interests me, nothing bothers me. I don’t think. I’m getting dumber each day and it’s showing. I’m so done.. Even meds stopped working. Sometimes I still […]
Lately I’ve been thinking about suicide a lot and it is really starting to scare me. Today at work i almost climbed over the rail of the stairs to jump. I’ve almost taken too many meds, and I’ve been researching how much medication it would take to kill me. I started self harming about 2 months ago and I can’t stop, and it’s getting worse. I’m cutting deeper and longer, and I crave the blood.
The last couple of days I’ve been feeling really strange. I feel sad, but not sad. It’s almost an empty feeling but I can feel something in my stomach. It’s like […]
Hi, i’m new, sorry if i’m going to make some errors but english is not my main language.
Today i was on my Pc and came across this Website, at first i wasn’t sure if i really wanted to post something but i thought that this might help someone like it did with me. I am a 19 years old boy who really loves internet, videogames, anime etc. and, aside my parents, i had no one. I had no friends, they all left because i wasn’t “normal”, just because i didn’t like pubs, go to parties, smoke weed and things like that, i also never had […]
I forgot how to live.
I forgot how I usually react and respond to things. I forgot how to reply. I forgot how to socialise. I don’t know how to do all that.
I forgot how to be normal.
This is hard.
Maybe being alive isn’t my forte.
I have no friends in real life and i was feeling so lonley that I think I was about to go insane. When I came to this site I managed to atleast say something to someone. I feel much much better. Thank u everyone.
i can’t stop crying. the thoughts are never going to go away.
i question why i feel this way because i have it way better than most people do,
i have a home , a bed , clothes , food , but i just feel so shitty and utterly worthless.
im afraid that im just gunna fail in life and what sucks the most is i have nobody.
i dont need friends but sometimes its just nice to have someone to understand you and
just listen. being alone just sucks.
I am looking for some kind of book that can help me improve my communication skills drastically. Can you plz recommend any? Thanks.
When I was 16 years old, I was at the peak of a very dark place.
Everything really started when I was twelve. I hated myself, and everybody else hated me, whether it was too my face or behind my back. I allowed people to walk all over me because I wanted to have friends, no matter how little they were actually friendly. Just people I could sit with at lunch, or talk to during class. I hated being alone. I still do. I started cutting a few months after I turned twelve, when I overheard one of my “friends” talking about it with someone else.
I […]