Everything is getting so messed up. I’m just…. I feel unwell and sick and nervous and unsettled and unhappy and I can’t call anyone because no one is answering their phone and I feel lonely and I don’t feel good. :'(

I just said I could work an extra night next week, but on those nights I see my psychologist and I don’t like it when things don’t go in routine. My little girl side of me doesn’t like it and it’s upsetting. I usually get my mum to console me or make my decision for me she’s not answering her phones. She tells me “Call […]

First of all sorry but i have wrote a lot, i have poured as much as i can say into this and feel completely lost and don’t know where to turn. I don’t want to burden anyone else with my problems but i just have no dea what to do.

I’m pretty much back to square one. I’ m no better than the 16 year old me who left school and had nothing to show for it.

I was diagnosed with manic depression at the age of 16 (although they were plenty of signs that i had this throughout my childhood) […]

Well, the way I see it, at this point in my life the depression has the biggest chance of winning… But I’ll be damned if I’ll sit by and let it take me down without a fight.

I know my chances of surviving until the next year are very slim. I’ve accepted that. Death does not haunt me, but neither does it call my name as intently as it did several days ago.

After reading over everyone’s encouragement and advice, I’ve made up my mind. I can either succumb to the darkness right now or I can try as hard as I can to escape it. Granted, […]

As a depressed person, I always hear “Stay strong, God will help you.” or “God had better plans for you.” and a whole lot of other shit. Neither me nor my friends believe in God. Why would we? If God is so great, why would he let us suffer like this? Why would he let some people take their own life? Why would he put us through Hell? I’m a much firmer believer of  The Devil than I am of God. If God really existed,  he wouldn’t make us stop believing in him. Get your shit together! Open your eyes! God. Is. Not. Real!

So, I’ve never used a site like this… I don’t know if this post will even publish, knowing my luck it won’t and I’ll have got all anxious for nothing. Okay, maybe I should start with the suicide story?

I don’t know what has led to me becoming depressed (or, as my psychiatric nurse calls it “in low mood, because depressed is such a negative word”)  I’ve never suffered any traumatic experiences and I didn’t have a bad childhood. I can’t even pin point the first time I ever felt so low. I can tell you though that each time I hit a low point, it […]

I have taken my anxiety med, I am drinking a beer and watching True Blood. Trying not to give in to my compulsion to make nice with my ex. I am embarassed by my behavior. I need to sort myself out. I guess I relied on him as a way to get out of my head for a bit.

So, I’ve read some pretty tough stories on here about other people’s life. I’m not gonna say it gets better, because I don’t know if it will. But, if your faith/belief in God is strong then you’ll be alright. I’m not gonna talk about my life, and experiences I’ve had, but I will say you’re able to overcome any obstacle that comes your way. You have the power to make a difference, and I know things can get tough or you feel like you don’t matter, but you do matter. You matter to me, and you matter to God. God loves you enough to […]

Hello, my name is Martijn. I’m a 15 year old boy. I’ve had a depression before when I was about 12. It lasted about a year. Ive been in therapy and been taking medication since then. The following 3 years of my life have been great. But half a year ago, I started fealing anxious again.  strange, violent toughts towards me and the people around me popped op in my head. I often felt empty, as in a dream but i couldn’t ‘wake up’. It felt like I didn’t use my medication anymore, wich I have to control my anxiety. Since then, I started feeling […]

There is three types of idiots in this world: Idiots who do evil because they like seeing you suffer or because they want to show off in front of their “friends”. Then there is those who don’t care about the consequences of their actions; they don’t intentionally hurt you but if through any of their actions you take damage they don’t give a single fuck – aka “Don’t get in my way.” The last type are the ones who don’t understand or know about the consequences of their actions, either because they are too dumb to figure it out or because they just haven’t realized […]

(I realise that all of them are bad in one way or another) but I want to know specific ones I should definitely avoid. I’m going to see a psychiatrist tomorrow and the nurse told me that because of my assessment results I will most likely be prescribed antidepressants, so I want to come in prepared. I would be very thankful if any of you could advice me on this; I don’t want to get side-effects that will make me feel worse than I already do.

If animals are doing that I can understand because they may be anware that they will die

but what happened to humans, the most intelligent species on earth, aren’t they aware they die?

I am not mad but wish I was. So sick of taking shit from people and in the moment I feel so strong and empowered I give them hell. Ha, then a day later I feel awful even if I wasn’t wrong and I have this sick need to try and repair everything at all costs. I wish I could have faith in my abilities and when I make a choice in regards to my self respect that I would honor it. I am all over the damn place with the only constant being thoughts and methods if death. Started as young as I can […]

I have no control of my thoughts.

Why do I feel this way. I know im not crazy.

I feel like I am, But I know im pretty normal because no one else even knows how im feeling right now.

Its like a hidden secret that im not trying to hide

I want help.

I don’t want this. I want to just leave for a while and take care of me. Lock me up if that’s what it takes. I cant do this anymore. I cant fight my own thoughts.

I don’t have the energy or the strength.

Im fighting a losing battle.

How do you fear your own mind?

Your own actions?

Your own feelings?

I have no control

I just feel and think terrible things unwillingly.

Help

I want to scream

I want to Cry

I’m just scared

Everything I do to help me hurts other people.

I don’t want anyone else to feel this way.

I just don’t want to either.

Can anyone hear me.

I feel like im screaming in room filled with people but no one can hear me!

Im right here.

It hurts. I’m scared

I DONT WANT TO FEEL LIKE THIS

IT ISNT MY CHOICE
PLEASE MAKE IT STOP.

I’m not crazy !

I’m not a freak

I’m Scared !

Why wont anyone listen?

Why Am I alone ?

Why don’t you care?

I keep trying to climb out but everytime I fall right back down even deeper. I just don’t see the point in trying anymore. Gonna just keep falling till I reach Hell. Thats where I belong anyway!

I just want to die.

I hate my life.

Try to live my life.

Live with my ADD.

Live with my social awkwardness.

Live with my slight autism.

Live with it all.

It’s a fucking nightmare.

I’ve tried getting help but it never works.

It never will.

I’m done.

It’s over.

My story, here’s hoping.

Mature audiences only. 15+ would be my recommendation but I don’t know. When I was 13 I read this sort of thing. But please, if you’re young, don’t read this.

Between the ages of 4 and 10, my brothers repeatedly beat me after school. My parents worked full time and to me, they were almost like strangers. My two half brothers and my one half sister hate me. They despise me, they always told me that my dad favored me, because their dad lived far away and my mum divorced him and married my dad. Whenever I went crying to mum, she would […]

I’ve had enough of the constant grief/worry/ruminating thughts/ guilt. mostly guilt. I just have to go through with it and get it over with. I mean once your dead your dead. I think ya know it really is kind of selfish isnt it. id love to make it look ike an accident but i dont think its possible really. Im just gonna jump off somethin and die. once your dead your dead its over. my poor family will have to go through a lot of shit . I tried to spare them but i really dont know what i can do now. I came home […]

Lock Me Up For My Own Good!!! 😛 AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Just kidding…. 🙁 please don’t!!

Maybe i am confuse but

Maybe im not

but i no

im still bisexuale

Tell me this

why am i like this

i just want this to end

please just please

let me die

oh please