So check this out..
When my ex left me, I was in pretty poor shape, still kinda am. Long story short..my neighbor had just broke up with his lady an she came to me crying about everything. At the time I felt like I couldn’t relate more with her and what she was going through at that time. I kinda thought we would be able to help each other through this. We exchanged numbers and all. Well I’ve text her back an forth here and there. The last text I sent was inviting her to breakfast, I just wanted to talk and get to know […]

Hello whoever wants to read and share some insight feel more then welcome. I’m gonna share a condensed version of my life story I think it will be good for me dunno but it cant hurt. here goes.

well I was born in 85 im an only child and I have two loving hard working  parents always were always will be. I had a great first 5 years according to pictures and stories from family. the family next door and my family were close friends. well as close as neighbors can be I suppose. always cheerful and doin things for each other. always welcome in each […]

Dear Feelings,
What the fuck.
Now is probably the WORST time for you to develop a crush.
Now is probably the WORST time to start feeling again.
I can’t believe you.You dirty piece of shit.Just as you were getting used to not having her around,
You pull this stunt.At 6:30 in the morning.
Maybe if I weren’t gay,this wouldn’t have happened.Maybe if I were asexual,none of this would happen.
Maybe if I were straight even,none of this would happen.
But nope.
I’m gay.
And my feelings seem to use that against me.

So there it is
The thing i’ve been trying to hold back for so long.
And […]

There are some things that I cannot let go of.

I want answers from those who will not give me any.. not now, not ever.

Desperation washes over me whenever I think of ‘back then’ and the truth is that I’m not sure that what I remember is what happened because I was so young at the time. All I want is for those who were involved to ‘fess up for once in their lives, but I know deep down that it will never happen.

So, for the past few years I’ve been trying to forget.

Each hour now pasts like a dream – so detached from reality – […]

Peut etres, le gas Francais, son coeur, il y va me sauver.
Xavier, Anatole, Jeremy, Lore. Life was so fun.
Constance and her castle with an indoor swimming pool and spa.
The party room in the attic. Oh, and Eva. Oh, mondieux.
Then I moved to the State, fourteen years later. Fated, and now.
Seeking to save my life, here, on Suicide Project.
I tried, I attempted, at life. Sucked inside my monster, was only I.
Only I, and still will ever so. Vowed, please, make me strong.
I lost a long time ago. From suffering death, I seek life.
Here on my opposite end […]

Im new to this site but im hoping it will help me not feel so alone. Is there anybody out there who has ever cut? I’ve had a history of cutting for a few years, luckily I quit for the past year…. but today ended that. Old feelings came back and I added new scars to my body. I apologize if this sounds depressing. But is there anybody who can give me advice on how to quit once and for all?

Seeking the Alpha Black Lotus.
The bounty in the belly of the dragon.
Your spirit and soul mutated.
The ghost is heaven and hell.
I am here. Tied and hanged upside-down.
In our Present time, God, is death; your name in vain.
Our birthright to party, our humankind.
I need the comrade, the steep and rocky road from Saint-Hell.
Let us go, smooth. Ghost Rider and Ali Baba, and I, in the dark.
The next match to light and ignite into magic.
Transmogrify, like I’m going to go train to take down a giant killer dragon.
I need to, to save this fucked child and […]

Ok this is my last post, in just a few hours I’ll be gone.

I’ve spent my last days trying to enjoy myself and everything I love with my heart, but still it wasn’t enough to make me change my mind. I don’t have regrets but I would have loved to be able to give a propper goodbye to the people I love, anyway I don’t want them to know what I’ve done once it’s done, so I’ll have to keep all that for myself.

Life looks so different when you know it’s going to end, it’s not brighter nor darker, just different, as if you were […]

I can’t stand people who complain, but won’t change the situation. Just complain about it. Some people say, I hate my job, but don’t actively look for other work or better their resumes to find a job with more to offer. People say, dating sucks (and it does! Don’t let anyone tell you different!) buy they don’t know what they’re looking for or are unwilling to give new things/people a shot. What I hate most is complaining about something that only you can change to fix. If you complain that you’re fat and unhappy, then maybe you should quit eating so much shit, work out […]

The thought of me killing myself is literally the best thing ever. It makes me happy to know it will all be over soon. I hate when people say “do what makes you happy” You want me to be happy? Then hold a gun to my head and pull the damn trigger. K thanks.

As I walk through life I imagine it’s one big knife. At any second I can slip and watch my life end. I can imagine the pain I would cause if I went, but I can only blame myself. I try my hardest to get it out of my mind but there’s always that one thing that puts me on the edge. That one person who pushes things to far. That one person who makes the pain not look as bad. That’s why they say time heals all wounds but sometimes the cut is just too deep.

If you ever need anything, no matter what it is, please email me, breannakienzle@gmail.com. I would love to help you in any way I can. Even if you just need to get something off your chest, I promise I won’t judge you because I’ve done many things that I’m not proud of. Please talk to me if you want to, I would love to help.

and soon.  Sure, who the hell doesnt want an easy way out, but growing tired of all the nay-Sayers who dont think i have the guts to off myself. MORE bad news today. MORE being alone! MORE being screwed-over by family. and yes, at this point i know that no one cares and i certainly ASK that no one cares. Just MORE shit-filled proof in my life stating i am worthless to others and i know damn well, i have long since been worthless to myself, too.  i could give a fuck.  i found a way to legally purchase a gun in my state. no […]

so hi… to be honest i dont know what i am supposed to put on here so im going to try this. yes i am very sad,

no my dad doesnt rape me. no my family does not hit me. actually my moms side of the family is nice ..

my dad does drink all the time. my mom is very stressed, my sister hates everything and my brother is bullied, people are very mean to me for being diffrent , and liking things normal 14 year olds would like… im the girl you walk by in the mall who has eye liner every where and all black […]

I have not yet accepted my defeat. I shall complete myself, whatever it takes. in my this journey yet i have explored many forbidden zones. the deeper i go the more forbidden zones lose their holiness/untouchability. and a mere touch of me crumbles their whole fortress that they created in thousands or millions of years. And now i shall move one more step. Once social connectedness preserved the species and it was called the highest good. But what is species preservation to me? My suffering has paid all my debts and i owe nothing to nobody. Tell me, what makes another person more worthy to you than […]

I just can’t seem to get anything done.

I feel like there are so many things that I need to do and that I’m falling behind on, but my mind feels like it is stuffed with cotton. Even if I make a list, I feel as though I can’t remember anything that I have to do. Then I just get frustrated and go take a shower or make food.

I am just so tired of trying to keep up with society. All of the expectations and responsibilities that are thrown on me, I just can’t take it. I don’t feel at all prepared for college, or living […]

Someone who I loved an.d cared about very deeply promised me we would be together and start a family. He wanted me to prove I was serious about him by having my IUD removed. After going back and forth on the decision,I finally decided this was the commitment I wanted to make and I was ready. so after I had it removed he started acting uninterested in me. He said he was going through a lot and needed his space. I never could get in touch with him after that other than some hurriedn conversations . I even asked him flat out if he was […]

I never realized how exhausting it is to research ways to die, along with writing a note that explains it all. I’m so exhausted I’ve taken 3 showers today just trying to get it all done. By the end of Friday I don’t intend to be here anymore. When my boyfriend at the time talked me into an abortion I didn’t want he promised he would be around afterwords, I made sure he said he would because I knew I couldn’t handle all of this alone. He left regardless and I told my family about everything because I was afraid of what I would do and […]

I want to leave this world but I am afraid of what might be next, it could be worse. I mean I am a believer but I don’t understand a lot about it, like why is the punishment so severe? I mean no matter what you’re  guilty of, an eternal punishment on any level doesn’t seem right, I mean time here is so finite, and any thing you did wrong should in enough time be cleared but eternal damnation?, and for many all they did was get depressed and off themselves, I mean shouldn’t there be some sort of limit to the punishment? Suppose I […]

Six months I was with her. More than twenty break-ups; her leaving me, her making me feel like I was worthless. One day we’d be fine and the next day she’d break my heart. I know guys are supposed to move on with no problem, but with her it’s different. I was in a horrible depression when I met her. She knew exactly how to make me happy, exactly how to cheer me up and bring a smile to my lips.

Her name is Trixie. She’s the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Every day I tried my best to make her happy, I tried […]