Suicide is my only option

The folk who truly want you to be happy with no expectations in return are likely to be the ones who care for you. Hence, they wouldn’t want to do that.. I don’t think there are a lot of people who have the strength to go to that sort of lengths to make the people they deeply care about happy. It’s part of being human, we are selfish and we don’t want to lose the things we love.

And truth be told “The thought of me killing myself is literally the best thing ever.” is probably a lie imho. The thought of killing oneself, dying and escaping life are three different concepts (although related). You’ve just made it sound like that you would enjoy the process of killing yourself rather than having all of your troubles in life ‘over’.