A wise man once said,
” depression is like drowning, you can see a hear everyone around you, and somehow, your still alive.”
I’ve told this story before but rather than have it disappear into obscurity I’d like it to be a lesson for all new comers, if it can help you understand your life a little better.
I tried to kill myself when I was in my early twenties. It’s been roughly 10 years since that night, and I won’t ever be able to shake it..that I know!
I was getting wrapped up into drugs and suffering from depression, and needless to say I wanted to die and had every intention in doing so. There wasn’t all this easy access to the Internet so methods were […]
I find some sick satisfaction in judging others. I always compete. I always need to be better than anyone else. I always fail to be. I’m so negative. I loathe myself. My body is so hairy, even as a female, because I have PCOS and Hirsutism. My stomach is HUGE even though I lost 30lbs (I went from 140 to 110 last year but I look 150. I’m 5ft 3). My wardrobe is that of a 5th grader. I can’t afford anything new. I’m always afraid I’m going to be homeless. I have been dating a guy for 7 years who is abusive in all […]
Well I feel today is the day I end my life. I just got rid of a person out of my life who was there but wasn’t much anymore. I made a promise awhile ago that I wouldn’t do anything to myself. Well I got rid of her out of my life that way she wouldn’t blame herself for this. So I feel it’s time I end it today. Thank you everyone for all the help and support
Well this is a long story, but to sum it up, I am truly giving up on life. Trust me the answer isn’t 42, it’s not happiness or sadness. And the dragoon from final fantasy 9 has a dam good point! Being forgotten and alone is worse than death. After all when your dead you know that you no longer know that your hated, and are left with nothing right? Maybe I’ll be in some grave, maybe I’ll be with god. No matter the case be, I’m pretty dam sure I won’t be in the pain I am feeling now. Ok now for my life […]
Last night I came very close to an exit, I was ready, but I’m not sure what made me wait. I know some of it is my business responsibilities, I don’t want to let anyone down but I’m not sure why it matters so much to me? It’s not like their world won’t go on. I have decided I won’t exit in my apartment, I will take a road trip, no cell. I have enough meds stockpiled to shut my system down completely, just add alcohol. I’m so consumed by darkness – I’m physically never going to be well again, the doctors were plain about […]
Does anyone else agree that when someone says suicide is a cowardly thing? I feel that if your in the position your in and few the way you feel, you way the facts and think about everything. I feel it’s actually a very hard thing to do. And another thing is. How do you feel when you final have the power to talk to someone close to you and ask for help, but all they say is I can’t talk to you anymore if your going to do that cuz I don’t want to be apart of it. I feel that is that person truly […]
I know you are there.. Why don’t you hang out anymore? Whats keeping you so busy? lol Comment so I can email you..
P.S.- this place needs you!!
I feel as if I am a defective person; mere trash that the common person uses for their own purpose then tosses away, like yesterdays newspaper. I grew up in a dysfunctional home. (Who hasn’t, right?) But I’ve had an extremely hard time making friends. (I am in my forties, so this isn’t a new thing.) My family is either ultra-religious & I am a heathen who doesn’t follow their God-fearing ways…so they outcast me. Also, my sibling has children and grandchildren now, too…but those are his only family. just his immediate…no sisters, parents, cousins, NOTHING…just his own tight knit unit he gets to […]
Dear precious Angel, I love you more than anything! You were never bad I promise, but mommy has to leave this place. I can not be her anymore, but will wait at heavens gates for you. I will not go in till I find you there. I am sorry I know your sad. I just can’t stay in far too sad. My heart is heavy and my eyes always cry. I’m sorry I couldn’t do better. You will have daddy and grandma and grandpa your imma and Randy paw too. But mommy isn’t able to stay , but in heaven is where I’ll wait for […]
So let me just start by saying, I hate myself. I have for a long time (almost 7 years). I’m 16 (almost 17) and male.
Just about everyday i’m told about how i need to get a job and get a liscence and get a car. I spend all my time in my room, on the internet because there i can do what i want without getting picked on. My whole school life people have made fun of me. In primary school i didnt give a shit. But in highschool, with 4 times the people (and people from other grades) picking on me and making […]
My cat holds the universe in her eyes I wish I could say something poetic and inspiring But i’m such a dull person with thoughts that are so complex I cant even comprehend them Because my mind is so simple So where are these thoughts coming from? I asked my cat And she responded by showing me the blue universe in her eyes So I’ll let myself live until i can swim in her eyes,like pools of sparkling nothing.
I am 44, single mum . . . With a darling vivacious 11 year old son . . . And we have lived with my mother since he was born. The idea was . . . .i had a great career ( did not really view my treatment resistant depression any more than someone managing diabetes) . . . And grew to know over the past 25 years that thoughts of suicide were not “me” … But just symptoms that I needed to go back tomy doc, get meds tweaked, “work my program”.
But but things have changed . . . I have been in an […]
It’s my first time here, I want to say that English is not my first language so I’m sorry if I make mistakes.
I’m 20 and I’ve been suicidal since I was 9, I’ve tried it a few times when I was younger and didn’t succeed but luckily no one even noticed. I’ve regularly made cuts in my legs since I was 12, my family and friends have seen the scars and even asked about them but none of them seems to actually care about it.
Last year I started talking with who is my best friend now, she’s suicidal too. We support each other and we […]
She lived with me for a year and we were each others everything and then she started doing whatever the fuck she wanted and didnt respect me so i broke up with her and she packed up and left. That year was so broken and fucked up but i loved her with everything in my body everything but i couldnt take the feeling of her slipping away (I could tell we were loosing our love) But even though i broke up with her I still love her so much and i wish i never did it but its too late shes trying so hard not […]
Today my cousin and I were on the swings at an old elementary school. I was listening to music when we closed our eyes to swing back and forth. My cousin later asked me what depression felt like and I told him if he remembered what it was like to close his eyes on the swing. How you never knew how high you were, and it didn’t matter because you always felt the same. That’s what depression is like. No matter how high you are you’ll always feel close to the ground. Falling backwards.
Is almost all I think about now.
Id just cut both of my arms they burn its hot theres blood its burning the only reason i did it was becuz of him….he has a party hosted n there girlz who dnt respect a relationship, im scared to Kno what is going on….im crying scared worried paranoid, uploads pics of him n money lik no tht not CUTE n then of bottles n bottles of liquor, it just worries me n i wanna let him kno but then i dnt wanna ruin his night. He pinky promise he wasnt ginna drink o smoke n i hope it stays lik tht
Hope you had a nice day. I on the other hand, I’m suffering from what I think is Klonopin withdrawal. While watching the fireworks I almost passed out and now I feel very short of breath and just… out of it. That’s okay, it’s to be expected, I think.
I think we need a day to celebrate freedom from this illness. If we ever become free.