I have nobody.

I have no real friends. Once I try to talk about my feelings or get help, I just end up getting ignored. I know it’s not easy but please don’t leave me alone in this again. I can’t breathe

i need to get away and drugs and these fucking razors aren’t doing anything anymore.

I’m so alone and tired

honestly I am just so lonely. i am so tired of being sad and not being able to help it, and i am tired of feeling ignored and unloved. I have a friend that i trust and always help when they are in need but whenever i need help with my problems they are never there. And i dont know if i am being selfish or if i am even sad enough to be suicidal, and i wonder if i am convincing myself i am because i want attention. i just want to know if people actually care or if they are just saying that.

please […]

Hit me up, no holler.

CLICK ON PICTURE FOR A CLEARER VIEW

Comments welcome

I used to have such a passion for life. It breaks my heart every time I realize the extent and speed in which it’s dwindling away. What a waste. Agony grips my form when my thoughts turn to the past and I see what I once was.

All I want to do is go back, because I don’t believe in my future and I don’t believe in myself.

I like this song, listen away.

It’s strange. I am not exactly what you’d call a thin person, nor am I tragically obese. In reference to fruit, I would say that I am an apple. I’m large around the midsection. It would be safe to assume that I don’t run…or exercise daily. I’m not a fitness nut nor am I terribly unhealthy. In fact, I’m quite average. I can walk a mile in 10 minutes flat, which doesn’t sound like much to some but I know people who are, 1/24th my size and they couldn’t walk a mile in 10 minutes if their life depended on it.

Lately, my sleep schedule has […]

Well, I am going to write about what has occurred in my life; when my depression started etcetera. I don’t really care if someone reads this or not, I just really need to write it down. I was in a abusive friendship with a girl who lived 3 doors down from my house. I met her when I 3 years old and stayed best friends with her for 10 years. I know what you are thinking. An abusive friendship from the ages of 3-13? Well this “friendship” contained of me feeling like complete and utter crap 24/7 because of the friend mentally destroying me (intensely I […]

Iv decided that tomorrow afternoon is the perfect day for me to kill my self. I live with just my mom and sister and they’re leaving out of town for three days early tomorrow morning at about 5am. The last words my mom told me is I don’t want you to be here (in my house) when I get back. I’m gonna do something even better for her  when they leaves later that day  I’m gonna lock my self in my room nail it shut with a nail gun. Then I’m going to shoot myself in the head. She chose some great last words for […]

My heart is breaking for my daughter. She has no idea how her world is about to change in a few weeks.  Please pray for her.

i seriously cant take life its too much for me ….

the other day i started planning my funeral i wrote evrything down ….i just need balls to actually end it

Why am I either so angry, sad, or blank all the time?

I’d never felt more suicidal than I had felt today. I was so determined to put an end to this life within the next couple of weeks. I thought that since I had stooped so low I might as well try heroin, it’s not like I had any further to fall. So I chased the dragon, not intending to kill myself at that point but just for a release. It didn’t feel orgasmic or incredibly intense at the time, just relaxed like I could nod off at any time. So I thought that was that and I went to bed. All of a sudden I […]

Any suggestions as to why I shouldn’t just kill myself?

I can’t pay my bills because my new boss decided we didn’t need an in-house I.T. person. Forget that I’ve been at this organization for over ten years, have almost 30 years in the business and am only paid about 60% of the market rate for my role. Forget that I have been a one-person I.T., E.H. and S., Telecommunications and Facilities department plus doing all the document control and a million other things. This narcissistic pig was Board Chair before they became an “interim” Executive Director when my former boss quit (or was forced out, nobody’s talking about it) and although I’ve been well […]

I am alright and get through my day half decently, then I don’t know what…usually in the evenings I am stirred by a torrential wave of wanting to die and self harm.

Tonight it is connected to the men I wanted to love that didn’t love me. I want to drift into oblivion when I think about how I let them treat me or what I put up with/fell for. I am stupid; I am trash; I am no one.

You’re birth exsist through my pain, fear, and loneliness. You’re always putting me down and telling me to end every bit of life I try to grasp on. You always echo the problems in my life ” you’re dad fucking hates you if you died tonight he’d kick you in the whole he digs himself” or ” she turned you down because you’re an ugly piece of shit you arnt good at anything all you are is a fuck up to society somebody kill him now. I try giving in to him but I get scared 2/3 of me want to die but something […]

okay so i tried to commit suicide. i was literally doing anything to die i was crying so hard i had no resources or anything so i just took a bottle of ibuprofen and i took 65 of them i went to the mental hospital and stayed there for like two-three days and i was really unhappy because i missed graduation and graduation was really important to me because that school was hell and i would have cried if i went to graduation because i was so happy i was out. but i didnt even get to go. i said everything i had to to […]

Every day I come home to being screamed at my family hurting me calling me worthless ect. I was just so tired ive been bullied since 4th grade I am a junior in high school and all the bullying bullshit hurts some people don’t know what bullying can cause to you I have scars all over my body but yet I liked the pain I felt when that raz0r would cut my skin and the blood drip on the floor I ran to my room and I got the razor 1cut,2cuts,3cuts,4cuts I looked down I was in my own puddle of blood I was and […]

So today I met a guy really sweet and generous he went thru the same things that I have has the same things as me and we got along really well that guys in a band and going to the urban fest I can’t wait to see him again he has that guy has burn scars yet hes helping the outcasts in ways he could never imagine and I feel so glad to call him a ftiend that guy didnt say his name yet when we met next time ill update this that guy has a wonderful personality and everythings I am happy for him […]