I have felt this way for a week now. I just don’t want to be here anymore. I have been depressed for 5 plus years. The reason is I have a very sick parent and they are getting worse. But. Then this girl came into my life and everything finally seemed to go up for me. I was happy again. I never thought I would feel that way again. I had someone for the first time in my life I could trust and talk to about everything. I could be myself around her and even show my real me and cry. She’s my everything and […]
Do what you can to stay alive, my friends…….try as hard as you can to keep yourself safe….and then take a well deserved nap.
Peace and prayers,
Bayareaguy/Jay
I feel numb from my head to my toes. It hurts to breath, to wake up every morning and realize I’m still alive. I’m sad or maybe even just a little bit depressed. I cant want to stand but I don’t know how much more I can take….
My friends try to cheer me up, but sometimes… It just isn’t enough. After all
“Happiness is fleeting.”
I honestly don’t know what to do anymore… I don’t know why I’m still breathing….
I try so hard to improve but then I always end up failing… I can never stop being a failure, a stupid wide eyed disappointment…
I […]
I don’t think I’ll ever know when to walk away from life, it’ll be more of a spur of the moment, angry and impulsive act. I am worth less than nothing. You know the kind of person you’d accuse your friend of being to offend them (“you’re a fucking idiot / ugly bastard / freak / no dick / boring / loser”). I’m every single one of those things and it’s not just self-loathing, it’s the truth. I am literally retarded and everything else that’s bad. I’m a walking joke. The incredible thing is that despite knowing this and the amount of pain I’ve been through […]
Hey, like alot of you im at the end of my rope
it would take ages for me to explain myself, so instead i have a simple favor to ask
can anyone provide me a good way of looking at death, a way of coming to terms with it
because as of now the only thing stopping me from killing myself is the fear of what nothingness will be like
dont tell me its like sleeping, that scares me even more
in particular i am seeking advice from someone who has meditated heavily and has been in a death-like state before
tl;dr i need to come to peace with death so […]
why is suicide illegal in america? if you are an adult and wish to end it, how is that a crime??? this is silly. how can they enforce it? whats the penalty, life in prison? the death penalty? cmon!
My colleague at work was upset so I asked her what was amiss.
She said her mother was extremely emotional and trying to console a friend.
“Her friend found her son hanging in the closet.”
I was stunned, but not by the fact the friend’s son had hung himself in his closet. I was a bit taken aback that I had recognized the method mirrored my own exit plan but, more notably, more so at the lack of sympathy for the family. Instead, I felt what I have identified as…
Jealousy for the gentleman…
It has become clear I’m ready. I didn’t expect the realization would be so anticlimactic. Then […]
if my girlfriend breaks up with me for being a failure im killing myself asap. i promise u that. i just dont know how yet.
Loneliness aches… and has slowly, over time chipped away at me. Now I find myself here, maybe just out of curiosity, or maybe just desperation. There are many people worse off than myself, many in this very community, but right now, from my narrow, blinkered and selfish viewpoint; I’ve never been lower, lonelier, sadder or felt so forgettable. I was passionate about things once upon a time, now I’m just cold, bitter, heartless, and full of deep disappointment by how this life has played out. Yet I let this life turn this way, I watched everyone leave, while I stubbornly stayed with my thoughts focused […]
I have sooooo much on my mind with nobody to talk / turn to so everything is just built up & continues to build each day i cant do anything without my mind racing all i want to do is run but i cant because its my body so its like im trapped so i just cry over & over & over again im so stressed & overwhelmed.
I am at the point I have already done everything I wanted to. That is within my reach anyway. Hope? For what? I have no family and don’t want one, working is hardly a reason to stick around. That’s all I do.
I love the sand and sea, but not enough to stay and I hardly doubt they will miss me.
Even at the end of a dream vacation thoughts of suicide start coming back out of their hiding place.
I have tried shamelessly to connect and create a life for myself and it just isn’t enough. The only thing I am proud of is how […]
Why do my days get worse and worse I never have anything good in my life ever and I never will. Any time I find something or someone that makes me happy it gets takin away from me. Why live my life everyday miserable and never actually live my life. Iv been alive for 22 years now but I never lived one day yet…. Why would I keep dealing with this? I have no one and nothing to live for. I’m meant to kill myself, I’m just too scared to like a coward I wish I can have the strength to just kill myself and […]
I can’t exist like this much longer. I just needed to share this with someone who can’t stop me, just understand.
maybe I just don’t understand myself or perhaps my perception has been distorted to the point where I can’t recognize the familiarities in me, but I just don’t know. I don’t know where my life has gone and the prospect of where it’s going scares me. I don’t know what to say, my thoughts are jumbled and hard to articulate, those emotions are ineffable and I can’t stand their presence.
I’m longing for a life I never had or perhaps a life that I feel I no longer have the ability to conceive, a life I can’t even fathom or translate into words. the world around […]
Well they put me on Seroquel. My jerk for a psychiatrist…..or should I say nurse practitioner says she’s seen a lot of good results from people on that medicine.
whatever.
Yesterday is over..
Yet in the blink of my eye there is still rebirth from the bitterness. There is still hope beyond hopelessness. There is a light!
To late to drown far off the shores from where we’ve been..the tide has turned back to us, and will bring us home
Never to be blinded by the salt of promise, and never to be forgotten!
Wind, breath, earth and my strength rise up in times I need it so desperately.. In times others need it the most!
Turn fire to the darkness and take comfort in its glow. Bring reason to your will, and to mine. Never […]
Simple events cause downward spirals of pain and hopelessness. 45 years old and nothing to show…a complete loser and let down to everyone that knows me. It’s too late. People who say its never too late don’t know the pain, the challenges, the guilt, the shame. Maybe its not too late, but it feels like it.
I don’t know how to get through the rest of the day.
There is no happiness when your life is bare of family and love.
I look for a purpose to go on living.
I find none.
Life. This never ending charade of lows marred by a few high points. Here I am once again and no, I do not feel good. I put up one heck of a fight but it wasn’t enough. Rather it was against the wrong opponent. I slaved away, hacked every piece of work to tiny shreds and earned my vacation. Achievement? Yeah probably but it did nothing to make me feel better. Quite the opposite, my slaving away left me in an all too common spot in life. All the friends i had graduated and because i dedicated everything to work. I turned invisible, uninteresting again. […]