If the world is an ocean, then shall we become sharks.
The king of the jungle, the lion. A warrior, a sabre of light.
The magic sands at the end of hell. The chain that we must cut.
Faith, is everything, everything that is. Everything that is wrong and right.
The scale. The balance. Liberty and justice. Most of all, universal and eternal peace.
Raped, our goddess. Civilization, civilization, civilization. Our populous system on our “Mother Earth.”
I wonder so much, what is missing in the soul of others. The truth – And oh, how I am so alone. Sacred crucifix.

Assemble, the journey. Who will […]

So, I’m gonna cut the bs here, I’m probably not going to kill myself anytime soon. I honestly just really want to share my story, get help, and possibly prevent me from doing so EVER.

I’m Mae, I’m 14, and I’m currently dealing with both severe anxiety and minor depression. Which honestly is like hell but you can’t really tell anyone. I’ve taken countless tests, and surfed for symptoms for hours, and honestly, I know that’s what’s wrong with me. Please, don’t call me stupid or attention seeking because I’m self-diagnosed, I’m sorry but I just can’t ask people about it because it honestly makes me […]

So Andrei and I conceived this piece about 3 months ago, we both recorded our parts about 2 months ago, but we’ve had the track in post-production since then. This will definitely appear to music pretty soon, but we both thought that it could stand okay raw for people that like poetry.

As always, the poem is below for people that like to read along.

You’re Gone

[Bullfrog]
I loved everything about you,
From your nervous smile to the way your face would flush without warning when you felt the slightest bit uncomfortable.
And since you’ve gone there’s just some little things,
Sensory memory triggers of the joy […]

I’ve waited till now to make my first post, simply because the first two days without food and water has been relatively easy. Now the third day, I honestly have no desire for food though swallowing is becoming difficult. I am starting to experience headaches, probably because of lack of food and even getting down ibuprophren without water is difficult.  It would be so much easier if the people that made the decisions towards legalizing euthanasia weren’t making the decisions. It’s easy to want to live when you have a 100k a year job house, wife, children and even family and friends. I have none […]

It is automn and I am five. I m a lonely child, my friend are more ghost I created than real ones. I m thinking about death. Dad is dead. I  I m wondering were his soul is and if his  body is eaten by worms. But I now I m not supposed to ask myself this questions so as Mom asked I just smile and say “hello” to the all lady speaking to a grave.

AI m 8 and Mom says I will have a new father. He gave me a beautiful doll and de hide  together in the moutains. I love him as I […]

I wonder if the structure of “modern” psychiatric institutions differed from actuality would we have so much strife… what is normal what is abnormal

would people be stuck in jobs that they hate, in bodies that they hate… equating body to buildings, buildings to religion… once I was a wanderer, coming off of forcefully ingested psychiatric medication, not wishing to pollute the earth with a vehicle I walked across town in 100 degree weather and needed a drink of water. Pressed a button on a church’s intercom to ask if they had a water fountain. They said no. Which is a lie, but Christians aren’t supposed […]

I wish to terminate the continuance of a certain existence,

though it is obvious that the identity is of someone regarding myself,

I do not wish to expose the exact identity of the person[s] involved.

So I will simply yield this Inquisition:

Why not?

The hour grows short; hasten your responses

I’ve had mental health problems since I was around 10 or 11 and I’m 22 now and frankly, I’m just getting worse and worse. The medical profession have basically written me off as a time waster because of a few failed attempts and because I’ve ended up in a&e from drug and alcohol abuse a fair few times. Although I don’t suppose that really matters because with a condition like mine, the best I’m going to get is “learning to cope”. Like, all I have to hope for is dragging out the time between breakdowns and getting better at talking myself off the metaphorical ledge. […]

Hello lovely people,

I am breathing. Why I do not know. Breathing is one of the few vital things we need to survive. I don’t wish to survive. I wish to be six feet under. Yet I continue breathing. Sort of a vicious cycle. I breath to live, even if I do not want to. Of course mental suffocation would be a horrible way to go, but it is still a way. Sorry for reading my thoughts. I truly hope your day (night)  is better than mine.

-M

My friends tell me they care, but I know they really don’t. People see my wrists and think “ew what is wrong with that girl.” It doesn’t surprise me. I dress weird, I color my hair.. I look terrible. Why can’t we all be accepted? We live in such a judgmental world. That’s why I’m deciding to end it in a few months, just take as many sleeping pills as I can; and just cut my veins open. Cut my legs one last time. And leave a note. Explaining why I hate my life. Nobody cares until something bad happens. So mine as well end […]

do you know about any user here that commited suicide?

I am going to visit a therapist tomorrow for the first time. I figure it can’t hurt. But how much information do I share with her. I don’t even know how I would describe my suicidal thoughts to her. It’s just something I feel, not something that can be explained. Has anyone visited a therapist before? Any advise or anyone want to share your experience?

Where to begin… I’ll be 19 next week and I still don’t know what do I want from life, I don’t even know what would I like to do in the future, what would make me happy. It all started around the age of 10 I guess, my parents got devorced and we moved in the new environment. But I wasn’t really sad beacouse of the devorce tbh, it was the new environment, I wasnt excepted there, I was an outsider. But that was only the begining, at first I thought it made me stronger and it did in some way but since that year I can’t […]

I have been in hell for a few months and stumble here by chance. I’ve been looking suicide and stuff and came across this little paradise people just like me….in hell every waking hour and desperate for a bit of peace. I downloaded the peaceful pill book yesterday and was horrified and both amazed at its simplicity of it all. I’m in my mid forties, have two growing kids, a failing marriage, and a lover which I adore and have been seeing for a year and a bit for it seems he’s getting tired of me and I’m getting tired of so much unhappiness. I’ve […]

Well.. I’m less than 20 days from being 18. I have had social anxiety for most of life, at least from when I was ~4. I have had countless episodes of it, whether they are a friend of mine or not, I will get nervous. I had to take medicine to walk the stage without panicking, as well as with my speeches this year. I am on medicine and I think it’s where I got the depression for the most part. I was told I have depression symptoms but since taking the medicine the thoughts of suicide has gone in more depth. I have now […]

What am I leaving behind when I’m gone? What are the resonance I’ll be missed? Oh, right. There aren’t any

i realize a lot of you on this site are young so my experiences will not compute. but if you are female and live to see your 40s this is what you can look forward to. i have suffered from severe clinical depression most of my life-all of my adult life. so the next kick in the ass i am experiencing is the run up to menopause. which in itself can cause depression. hormones running amok , thyroid problems, weight gain the laughs just keep coming. which is why my thoughts are running to the dark side these days . that little voice that tells […]

For years I have wanted to go. Ever since I was 4/5 years old. I have never felt normal. I just want to stop these thoughts and feelings in my head. My community mental health team have given up. No more medication or help. So I’ve given up. I just want the courage to go through with it. I’m in a downwards spiral and it’s not stopping. I have no friends and my family have distanced themselves so I’ve nothing to lose. I just want gone. Sorry to sound like a kid having a tantrum, I’m actually 26.

One of my main reasons I’m currently NOT doing anything is I’m concerned about my friends who will have to deal with the aftermath. My previous methods of self-harm and suicide attempts have been cutting or overdosing. If I did that where I am now one of my housemates would either have to wake up to that or come home from work to it. (Either self-harm or suicide).

So I was thinking more about trains or bridges. Which is not something I’d ever thought of before. But it seemed less selfish to the people I love? However when I was at the psych hospital yesterday and […]

Hey I’ve not posted in almost 6 weeks i thought things was getting better but i was joking myself  way would they I just cart see things every getting to where its a life worth living and fighting for