it feels weird being back on this website, but Im back to the place where i need it.
i guess a little update on my life then, although Im pretty sure nobody cares.
lately, like in the past month or so, Ive been more depressed than i ever have been in my whole entire life. even though Im living at my dads now, which is everything i wanted, it still didnt fix anything. i pushed away all my friends and family and i just sit in my room all day watching YouTube videos. I cant even think about the future anymore, even though everyone […]
On the 4th of December this year I will eliminate myself. My Father also died that day (how fitting) never knew him though. I’ve given myself 6 months to prepare. Not to contemplate it but get my shit in order. Need to save some money, so that I can go to whatever location of my choice. Will possibly spent my last hours on this Earth somewhere near the ocean or the forest. Somewhere I’ll finally be at peace. Have thought about suicide for 6 years now. Failed 3 times. But I shall not this time. People think suicide is such an irrational and crazy thing […]
One day I woke up, and things just weren’t quite right.
I hid from the windows and their bright shining light.
In darkness I sat there, refusing to bite,
On the food set before me, a former delight.
All senses seemed muted, though they left with a fight.
My thoughts they weighed heavy, on my mind into night.
Nightmares and dreams snares, woke me with a fright.
Went searching for meaning, but was nowhere in sight.
Nothing is sacred, this just can’t be life.
Use the ledge at the ball park, one day I […]
I never knew about this website, but I’m glad that I came across it. The thoughts in my head have been getting worse and worse, but I keep trying to push through. Sometimes, it’s just easier to think “what would it be like if I were dead?” It all stared when I was just 11 years old. Here I am, 21 years old, and still fighting. When I was 11, life literally SUCKED. I attended a private school, and it’s true, the kids who go to school there are complete and total BITCHES. Just in 6th grade, I was bullied non stop. I was told […]
I dunno how to even begin this.. Im emmett, 16 and live in northern ireland. Im depreased every god damn day, i want to die, i have tried ending it 7times, i dont see my future at all, i dont see myself here in 2-3years time, i feel worthless, i am worthless, im only happy when am alone and crying, ive been bullied before but thats not the main issue why i wanna die, i wanna die to show myself that i can be happy, Â sad isnt it? Saying the only way someone will be happy is when their dead, i havent told my family, […]
What options for death really are there for profound disabled like myself? I can’t get a gun, can’t get in a car and go somewhere, and hanging never fails to fail. The only thing I was suggested by “professionals” was, if you want to die, you can, you just have to stop eating and drinking completely. Number one, what an inhumane way to go! I cannot imagine depriving myself of water until I am dead. That is barbaric. Number two, most of us disabled are in the care of family members who would force feed us. So this is clearly not an option. Also most […]
my best friend sent me this last night….
Wrists that are o so pearly and white,
they urk me with temptations to end this life.
Blades of silver and wrists of white,
bring me no pain as i return home tonight.
Quick to pass judgement and quick to fight,
one more cut should do just fine……
One line for the hurtfull things you said,
never again will i hear them in my head…….
Two lines for the times you brought me pain,
one more cut and ill end this game…….
Three lines and I start to go blind,
as blood red crimsen starts to rush out of my lines,
I have two last words before I die i […]
Why can’t god just take my life already? Iv been through hell my whole life a and once I kill myself I’m gonna go to hell for one of the biggest sins someone can do. I just hope god has Mercy on me when I Â kill myself. I have a pistol with no safety on it and I always have one in the chamber I always point my gun to my head and play with the trigger hoping I accidently pull the trigger all the way and die 🙂 isn’t it sad that the only thing that puts a real smile on my face is […]
suicide isnt a joke nor is it a game.thats really fucked up when u make fun of people who cut and shit.ISNT NOT A JOKE OR A GAME stop being fvcking retards and make fun of people who r suicidual or were suicidual….. its not fun i know because now ppl at school ask me whats that on your arm and i say scars and they ask for what and i dont tell them because im afraid of getting bullied!so i know how it feels to get rumors spread about me nd shit because i have been at this school for about 5 months and […]
Hi.. I’m a 24 year old female living in Canada & I’m starting to get scared that I will do something drastic and irreversible. I have gone through periods of depression on and off since I can remember. At first it wasn’t bad.. just low periods that last a few hours. Now it lasts weeks and the good periods in between (in which I am uncharacteristically social and productive) are getting shorter.
A bit of background on me is that I grew up in a very diverse, mixed-up family. I have 5 siblings and all are half-siblings. I am the oldest. I’ve had to choose between […]
Just wrote 3 suicide notes basically saying goodbye to certain people that I know love and care about me forreal. I begged them all in my notes to not cry for me but smile because I’m not suffering anymore. I wish everyone that knows me would just do that for me I mean I’m gonna kill myself because I truly feel like that’s what I have to do to get past this misery it’s never gonna get better I was having chronic depression since I was 8 everyday literally every day till now I’m 22 everyday wish to god to just take my life I […]
I’m not “high risk”, I’m just tired.
Hello all… I am going to keep my name out of this,but I’m a hoosier, i was bullied throughout school and life in general it hasn’t really changed as an adult either… My family doesn’t care about my problems… They won’t even listen to them because their worried about the drug addicts… Maybe they would help me if I started doing heroin like my brother and uncle, but I don’t want to do such things… My wife tells me I’m always a dick anymore but doesn’t want to listen to my problems she doesn’t seem to care that I’ve started sleeping on the couch since […]
This pain is unnatural, a form of devious evil. It laughs with its twisted and corrupted face. Tears are trying to draw the pain away, create a smile – which fails.
Will I die soon, is it coming closer, will my heart give in to the pressure. Physical pain; please leave – set me free.
Remove my wings but let my worn out body breathe and ascend again.
Let my demise be painless, until you plunge me down.
Into the abyss.
We can be lonely without being alone
Because we yearn for a comfort that
Can gives us the satisfaction that we need
We can be lonely without being alone
Because even though we are surrounded
By love and comfort; in the end it is not what we want
We can be lonely without being alone
Because friends will try to love us
But we only want a certain kind of love
We can be lonely without being alone
Because some love that people give us
Is not the love we want to receive
We can be lonely without being alone
Because sometimes we need one person
But that person […]
Hi guys, I haven’t written anything on here for a long time, mainly because there was some idiot ruining it but hopefully he’s gone now.
Does anybody else on here have the fear of being happy?  Like when something good happens, all I can think is “Where is this gonna go wrong?  Something bad is going to happen” all the time!  Nothing good can just happen without something going wrong.  Recently I’ve had a lot to be happy about.  Things like passing my college course, getting a new dog, my football is going extremely well and it looks like I have a girl in my life for […]
The code of blue and the iron code. The word Mankind.
Devoured by the fire and the monster.
The monster, that is you.
An organism dying spawn, I am, of your vein. You have no name.
You are less than a man, equal less than zero.
The world equals oblivion. In my heart of jewel evolution.
Hades, is our God of the World. Grey falling Hades.
Here in the belly, I’ve turned into a beast.
A beast of hell, a monstrous chain. I am here to conquer the world.
To destroy Lucifer behind my acidic breath.
Man. The world. A part of me that’s dying.
We have a word for forcing someone to die against their will, it’s called murder. So, why is there no word for forcing someone to live against their will? Is this not a form of psychological mind control via manipulating the language?
Fuck you!