have you guys a realized you have a fear of something or someone because of what they did to you….
well i do i have a fear of getting close to people because im scared they will leave me! it alway comes true and it scares me to death because…..im getting close to alot of people but the as soon as it starts to happen i stop myself because of my ex-gf and ex-bf i got close to them aND THEY BOTH LEFT ME AFTER WE BROKE UP AND BECAME FRIENDS THEY LEFT ME!IM DONE WITH REALTIONSHIPS FOR AWHILE!

i have been happier then ever.suicide isnt a thought anymore.finally i dont have to always try and get my mind of trying to kill myself.when the thoughts are taken away.listening to music alwayed helped but now im starting to realize i need to forgive and forget and let go of my past and stop living in the past because if i dont i wont be able to let go

I dreamt about you last night and I miss you so much it hurts. You are never coming back and it’s ripping me apart. I need you, or what you used to be. Have you not checked up on me in years because you fear I killed myself? I’m so so so sorry. I don’t have much to say, I really don’t feel well. All I can feel is the feeling of being stabbed constantly in my gut, the shakiness of my hands, the elevated heart beat and fast paced breathing. I don’t know what to do and if I had one wish granted […]

What can I say? I’m 27 unemployed, living with my dad and step mom. I’ve gained like 50 lbs….im 200 lbs right now… I feel gross I’m 5’8

I had a psychotic break a couple years ago… lost everything. My job, car, apartment, boyfriend. I had a good job, nice car, awesome boyfriend….

I started getting delusional, i literally lost my mind. I was living on the street for a while. then my parents found me and I came home….

For some reason I’m suicidal now and not when I was homeless? I guess reality set it… when I was living on the street I was happier… strange […]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8g-FcVpg52c

I feared what I love and became what I hate
To settle down the score, I punished me
Young, I started to relate to every inch of misery
Now I’m going to sit back and watch me drown within

Forced myself to fail my father
So called rage has rotten me
Could reach for highs and uppers but still the fool
Down in the gutter embracing gloom

I threw fiction away just to realize there was nothing left
Enlightened by sin
I feel so alive cutting my skin

I don’t know why it takes so long
Just to find where I come from
I’m sinking way too deep […]

okay, still i dont see the big fucking deal with me posting a pic on here when i see others doing it too. but il try to explain myself in much better detail so you can fuckin understand.
lets see, i was bullied all my life about how i look. i was always told to kill myself. told i was to fat to ugly. not good enough. i was verbally abused by my parents for years. telling me i couldnt eat. id just get fatter. this drove me insane. by 7th grade i stopped eating, my parents were pissed that i chose not so i […]

Has anyone else felt alone their whole life? Always the odd one out, outcasted by strangers, friends, and family alike. I’ve grown to realize that I’m not like the others. I’m quiet; I observe everyone around me. And I don’t like what I see. Everyone is so superficial. I see people for what they really are – their flaws, ulterior motives and blind prejudices. I know I have flaws myself but they don’t even compare to what I see in others. Perhaps I am a pessimist; though I like to think I’m a realist.

Every year that goes by, the more I dislike everyone I […]

I feel like I need to tie up any loose ends just in case…you know? I want to be “prepared” as possible if/when I decide to pass on.  Just to make things easier on people. I don’t know. It’s weird. I’m not saying goodbye yet. I want to try to start distancing myself so the damage is lessened.

For so many years of my life music has always been my remedy. Listening to piercing lyrics of goth songs, I felt I am not alone in these world with these dark thoughts. About two years ago it just stopped working for me. So now I am on my own, keep plyaing a role of a happy person for outside world and slowly dying inside. Moving along through a day, I try to keep myself busy so I won’t have time to think. But just like a predator it always attacks me in the most unexpected moment- on the bus, on my way to a […]

She’s right, whatever her name is

We had a deal.

I hid from the pain

And she took my place.

What if I don’t want to be numb anymore?

What if i’m tired of not feeling anything?

No happiness,

No sadness,

Nothing at all.

She was my shield for many years

She protected me from the horrors of this world

Now I relieve her from her post,

But she doesn’t want to go.

She clings on to me

I can find no way to get her out of my head

“Fat”, “ugly”, “worthless”, “useless”

She knows all my weaknesses and faults

And all she does is point them out.

She moves my arms and legs sometimes

I’m her puppet.

No matter how hard I try […]

I can’t get out of my own head.

All the things I used to care about I don’t anymore. I used to care about working with youth and becoming a teacher and Changing someone’s life. Now I’ve dropped out of teaching school and my extra curricular activity working with youth.

I feel very unimportant in all aspects of my life. My hours at work got cut, now that other people have been hired I’m not important at work anymore. I stopped going to youth as my importance there dropped off. I used to do lectures there and now I’m not asked to do that anymore. I don’t know […]

Can someone talk with me on here? Like on this site? We can talk about whatever, i just want conversation i guess… Im going to try and talk, though im tired, and my brain isn’t working right (cause it just is, not cause im tired lol).

you come
crying
and eating
growing
your halo of gold
i take it
i steal you away chil’
to my palace
in the darkness
i shape you
molded clay
becoming
red and black
devil chil’
you are mine
now go
out into the sun
into the moonlight
break them chil’
tear them
kill their babies
poison their water
burn their crops
break the glass
shattering
make them crumble
give them
infernal fire
watch
as they turn to ash
go forth chil’
leave your chocolate behind
and become the devil
this world will end
you are
darkness
my creation
burn them all

OMG, i joined this site 2 years ago, and at first everyone was so supportive and caring and month by month everyone is becoming judgmental the amount of judgment ive gotten in two days from people on here is insane. i post a picture of myself. i give out my number for people to contact me. WHY IS IT THAT BIG OF A DEAL!? i see others on here do it to. so why are we attacking me?!? what is so special about me that i dont have the right to post what others do. SORRY. im going to post what i damn well please […]

I think suicidal people should be taken to an island or just isolated away somewhere, where we can live in peace and harmony with each other, rather than be abused by our current social surroundings or Doped by are so called helpers the psychiatric warlords. We are not mental or sick, we just don’t have options, and because of this we would rather Die than suffer, we would rather die than degrade ourselves by conforming with the modern Era.

So there.

p.s i should probably say thats just my opinion not necessarily the opinion of any other sufferers. xPeacex

I watch, with dry eyes, as my freedom, my one true escape from despair, burns before me. The fire roars and crackles, spitting out white sparks wildly and furiously. I feel my eyes turn pink and my skin dry and tighten as the remaining happiness lifts from my body, like the heat rises from the flame. I try to grasp my freedom, and save it from the torturous fire but my fingers blister and burn with the slightest touch.
Why must this happen to us? Instead of being strong and fighting for my freedom, like the majority of others, I give up after the first […]

How do I change my profile picture? And are there any chat rooms on this site?

The deeper I cut,

The more I cut deep.

Deeper and deeper I cut. 

The more I cut,
The more often I cut,
More and more I cut.

The more scars I have,
The more fresh cuts come,
More and more fresh cuts come.

When there’s not enough blood,
I cut deeper and more,
Deeper and more I cut.

When my cuts stop bleeding,
My head starts spinning,
Slowly, slowly I die.

My eyes see blurry,
My eyes see nothing,
Nothing, nothing I see.

I lie down on the floor,
On the hard cold floor,
Cold, cold is the floor.

My heart pumps fast,
Not long will it last,
Fast, fast my heart beats.

My body feels heavy,
And then it feels light,
Up to […]

Existential depression is deadly. Once you start thinking about it there’s No Getting Out. If you figure it out how to come out of it you are a hypocrite.

If you are in that situation what is the right time for suicide?

Isn’t it stupid to live knowing the fact that you die anyhow ?