I just wish I could take someone’s cancer or something.
Imagine knowing when to die, having all your loved ones around you counting the last breaths together.. But more than anything, you just saved someone who wants to live, someoe who can enjoy life more then you do… Having a good purpose for death is probably the best thing I could ever hoped for right now.

I’ve started on an antipsychotic to tone down my high anxiety levels, but they make me feel so sleepy and sedated I can’t do anything but sleep. This is probably a good thing because its a nice blackout from reality, but it means I have more moments in the day where I ‘wake up’, and waking up is the worst. I feel so low all the time; my family keep thinking i’m ‘making progress’ but I still feel exactly the same about everything. I still think about how I need that final end, that there isnt any other option for me. I’m only doing these […]

Do you think it’s better that we know we have the option to end our lives ourselves or would it have been better if we did not know it was possible for us to commit suicide? Does knowing we can kill ourselves make us give up more easily and not look for a solution than if we didn’t know suicide was an option?

I don’t know if that make sense just curious as to other people’s opinions.

My name is Abhishek, I’m 23 years old. My parents are abusing me everyday and everytime. No matter how much I try to avoid them, they just find a way to put me down. They want me to die. I haven’t done anything wrong, I’m just a guy who helps others and this is what I got for my goodness. I had a girlfriend but I have to leave her because of my parents. I’m lonely and I have nobody to share my pain. I want to cry but I stop myself thinking that I must become stronger in order to survive. But now I […]

yesterday I had a phone call from my GP (DR’s) they said i had to go in right away to discourse my latest  blood test. when I  got I there  they saw me almost right away so basically I’ve got  deficiency in vitamin D,A,C,b12  i’m also anemia on top off all that the sodium and potassium  are low as well and i’ve been give a shit load off pills to help with this because i’m bulimic and have been for over 10 years with episodes of anorexic I kinder know this could happen but I’m not going to stop  i don’t think i can it been apart off […]

Street Dreams:

I see the streets burn every time I fall asleep, I’m losing all my sanity. I can’t hide from the voice that speaks inside of me.

I see the trees burn along with all my memories, I’m losing all my sanity. I can’t hide from the voice that speaks inside of me.

Bullet:

My legs are dangling off the edge. Bottom of the bottle is my only friend. I think I slit my wrists again and I’m gone, gone, gone, gone.

My legs are dangling off the edge. Stomach full of pills didn’t work again. I’ll put a bullet in my head and I’m gone, gone, gone, gone.

Coming […]

I didn’t think it was even possible to feel any more terrible than I did a week ago, but it is. It’s hard to even get out of bed in the morning. I’m just so exhausted all the time even though I sleep minimum 8 hours a night. I just hate this… I hate this so much… I wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone. No one. Why do I have to feel it? God, if you exist, why are you letting me feel like this? Why can’t you help me? Haven’t knocked me down far enough?  Can I just please die now? I’m already more […]

So, if you read my previous post, “A New Low”, you’ll understand the title and the following post.

So, I wasn’t fired from my job. Instead, they have decided to make my life so unbearably miserable that I want to quit. Today, literally, no one spoke to me. I would initiate conversation or ask a question and no one would respond. Unless I died and I just haven’t realized it, I would think that the least people could do is answer questions so that I could go about doing my miserable job. If i’m wrong, by all means, please point it out. I’m not being provided […]

It’s terrible when you’re walking down the street, or simply talking to someone, and suddenly you can feel like you can’t hold back your tears anymore. You start crying and you don’t know why. Everybody stares and asks what’s wrong and you can’t answer their question. There’s nothing wrong, nothing bad is happening and you have everything anyone could ever ask for. And yet you don’t feel happy.

Positive attitude, hope, doing things, man of action…etc all these are boring and it is for looser.

Just experience nihilism, existentialism, Efilism, Antinatalism  these are all so interesting we fell in love with them and ready to give our life for these.

First case is for mentally underdeveloped people.

Therefore start asking yourself questions  ” what is the purpose of human life, is there any meaning at all?, does the all struggle we undergo- is it worth at all? “

Both seem equally deadly so I’m not sure if it matters. But for what it’s worth I think I’d rather be surrounded by people who don’t care. At least that way I can’t hate them for being hypocrites. Like the trees and birds and stars that don’t give a shit about me, I’m fine with them. But I can’t stand all the self-serving phonies who constantly tell me they care but conveniently disappear when things get real.

I used to love the night because I could just sleep and forget everything for a while. But now, the silence and the insomnia, it forces me to focus on things I’m trying to forget. Sometimes  I try and figure out how my life spiralled into such a mess.

It’s suicide vs the survival instinct.

Both ideas and feelings generated from the same brain. So why would the brain want us to survive and die ? wheres the logic ?

a short example:

experiencing a full manic episode, you a hold a knife up to your heart, you’re convinced all you wanna do is jam that baby in there, it starts with a nice big confident swing but then just before impact your arm goes soft ? or your mind goes numb and nothing happens ?? And for what. What possible reason

Some kind of fucked up cosmic joke.

Hi 🙂

I would very much like to die.
But only to see what my family would do.
Would they be sad?
Would they say “he was always going to do it”
Would people greave for days?

Is this selfish of me?

I have had more and less, yet I have always been a miserable person. My brain is not right. I am not capable of sustaining relationships with sabotage or to truly “connect”. There are a few things I would postpone my death for but once I got to experience them I would not consider it worth living for. I date someone who has no respect for me, I am an option to them and worth keeping around albeit at arms length. I am embarrassed I allow this and often times pursue it. If it weren’t for him though I would not have any social […]

Some say it’s all or none. Others say something is better than nothing. Which is it? I get so mad at myself for accepting the unacceptable, but when I cut people out of my life I regret it. I have no life essentially. No family, and one good friend (who doesn’t have the time of day for me because she does have a family). After being depressed for about 20 years, I don’t believe it gets better, I believe this is my life and I need to accept that. I am not meant to have or experience things that others do. I am right where […]

I’ve done quite a few posts on here before… That was a while back. But now everything is worse. I’m breaking  and I don’t know what to do. I just want to show how I feel. Basically I was bullied horribly from 5th grade to 9th. Then in 9th grade I couldn’t take it so I tried to commit suicide. Not just because of school but because of my family. I couldn’t take it anymore. I got sent to a psychiatric hospital for 2 weeks. I ended up getting diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia in December of last year. It gets harder and harder each day. […]

When i was 12. I tied a extension chord around my neck and when i sat down and let my self go. Everything slowly went fuzzy… My group home staff saved my life that day. And im not going to lie to you. everyday i think about doing it. I had three more suicide attempts after that failed. Lately ive been contemplating on doing it. I cant stop thinking and thinking. Im 22 years old now and its been a decade of feeling suicidal  when will it stop? Or do i have to do it to make it stop?

I must say, I think the thing I most truly, profoundly hate in this world is people judging every f(I can swear on this site right?) thing I decide on or do. There’s nothing that frightens me more.

It sometimes gets to the point where I hide feelings and thoughts, ideas and decisions. Why do people do that? I wouldn’t ever judge anyone based on their decisions without even knowing them. Everybody has their own reasons. Like me, right?

People just make me mad. Anybody feel the same?

Feeling fed up,
PURPLEPAIN

Hello, I am a 18 years old girl. I have no idea why I am sharing my life story here. All I know is that I want to tell somebody about this but I can’t say this to the people I know. So please don’t mind my probably too long-winded post.

I say I can’t speak but I do have a voice. It’s just that I can’t speak loud enough for people to hear me. I have no idea why but I get really nervous and tense with people I’m  not that close with -even with my classmates. My heart beats really fast, I couldn’t breath […]