I’m 16 going on 17 and I have been thinking about suicide for about 2 years now. I often think about the people who might get affected by my death. I have tried hanging myself once but my dad called me before I could do it. He asked me what was going on in the house( he lives in a different country so calls once a week to ask about ). This all started because of my mother. She has been pushing me to compete with my sister since day one ( exam wise ) I’m not to say dumb but I’m below average. My […]
I have had a plan since the age of 17 to commit suicide on the eve of my 25th birthday. However, as the years have passed by and my life has gradually declined into unemployment, heart break and despair I find myself contemplating my suicide earlier.
I am currently 22, turning 23 on the 15th April 2014.
I was blessed with being born to parents who had money through working from nothing to something. However, as is often the case, my Mother turned out to be an alcoholic and father, a control freak who smoked marijuana to control his tempers but which in fact made them worse.
IÂ began […]
i’ve been suicidal for a long time now, and i was gonna kill myself. before i could, my uncle unknowingly stopped me by giving me a dog. at first i was gonna tell him no i couldn’t take care of her. before i could tell him no he told me about her. her name is tricksy she is a little rat terrier mix. she is a rescue i took her from a couple that kept her in a cage for the first year of her life. they beat, neglected and yield at her for nothing. they never took her out of her cage, not even […]
Lately, I’ve been becoming more and more angry about my situation at home(if I could, I would leave it but thats not an alternative due to factors like cops and getting a beatdown) It makes me so furious that I punch the walls in rage and just take out my blade and let it rip into my skin and after a few seconds, that blood flowing out, the release, the peace, the quiet within is an amazing feeling. It’s a temporary relief I know but which makes me think about running the blade down my jugular and taking the escape.
my BPD wont worsen, my temper […]
I 100% want to commit suicide. Â This is not a new thing, I’ve been feeling like this for a very long time! God and my family has prevented me, now for the last 2years, the only thing preventing me is my parents, the rest doesn’t matter anymore. Yes, I’ve been for help, psychiatrist, doctors and psychologist. Been on meds. But i’m going to try and live through until my parents are gone, then me. I just wish it can be sooner!
It’s so hard to get someone to understand you. It rips your soul apart when the look of incomprehension shows up. I have only just wanted some help and care. But I guess that’s a luxury that I won’t ever have.
I live like a zombie. My soul is dead. My emotions are dead. I have no passion. I just want to end this.
Frozen In Time.
Keeping everything to myself is how I live. I want to change.
So you have that one person, your other half. He/she wants to see you do good and stay positive . And you just feel like you cant look up to there expectations . It hurts, and it hurts even more that you can’t be honest with them because you dont want them to know how you really feel. Im so very good with keeping my emotions bottled up. Because once they are out there is no ceiling it back up. Honestly can get you only so far in life..
today it’s different. i dont actively want to destroy myself, to hurl myself off of something high or slice open my arms and bleed out. i just kind of don’t want to be alive anymore. i want to dissapear. or maybe go to sleep and never wake up. i’m sick of hurting. it’s like no matter what I do I can’t relieve this pressure. it builds and builds, and i can let off some of the steam but never enough to make it get any better. i’m just barely able to keep my head above water. i’m like a duck, nobody knows how hard i’m […]
I don’t know what I am. Is that bad? Last time I posted on here I could’ve easily said I was depressed beyond belief. Hell, I was seriously contemplating suicide. However, I don’t like self-diagnosing. So now I suppose I could say I am unbelievably sad.
But alas, I am even confused about that! Today was a fabulous day; it wasn’t raining for Pete’s sake! I also had a solo performance today, which I got a 2 on. A 2 is great. 1 is best, 5 is worst. Whilst that all happened and made me feel warm and phenomenal inside, I can’t help but feel sad […]
Lately a lot of things have been happing , i have the good moments and the bad moments. for some reason the only thing i worry about or pay attention to is the bad ones. Its gets all stuck in my head and cant get out ! I feel like its carved in my damn head !!
when im alone , or laying down after a bad day. Everything from that day that was bad hits me and thats all i can think about. And I begin t0 cry ! EVERY SINGLE TIME!
I’ve known this girl for 3 years I’ve loved her all throughout those 3 years but sadly 9th grade is coming soon and we will be going to seperate highschools and she will find that perfect guy and leave me then I’ll be alone again I just want to feel like I have a reason to live because I know I’ll lose that reason soon I just want to truly live for once i want to be that perfect guy for her because I’ve never met someone who cares so much I’ve never met anyone that cared at all and I want to be that […]
So im really heartbroken that my now x bf the one that helped me with everything and to get back up and feel good about my self has been cheating on me from the very beginning. Ill be taking my leave for about 2 days or maybe 2 weeks but ill try to get on a write something good for you guys. Good bye.
For a while, i’ve thought this site might be useful. Sure, some of it can get repetitive, but it’s good for people to hear themselves, and get a candid response, not matter how juvenile. Now, I’m mot so sure.
I know wonder if it is monitored by some victimy-undergratuates looking to validate their projections. I spent a couple of hours last night responding to someone. It was my hope this individual might get a chance to read it when they awoke in their time zone.To me it was genuine and heart felt and did not contain *any* of the heated […]
Floating, staring at the sky,
telling myself I should try.
Can’t lose anything, or can I?
Am I afraid of her reply?
Will she say forever good bye?
What to do, but sigh;
I’m not that kinda guy,
just quiet and shy.
In the blink of an eye
last chance passed by.
What’s left is tears to cry,
and asking myself why
am I so bloody shy?
I wait for hours
I wait up all night
I wait
Hoping that someone will be there.
Will be there to help me pick up myself
Help me pick up my broken heart
Help me put it back together for the next day
But alas its like last night
And the night before last night
No one is there for me like I am there for them
I simply cant take it anymore
I have waited far too long and too much
I wait every night until 1-2 am
Then the pain comes
Crushing me
Making me want to die
Why am I so dependent?
Why ? Just why do we have to always be in pain ? It feels like no matter what I do to try and get better . I end up in the same place i started in.
Why don’t people have the right to commit suicide? As soon as a person says that they are going to kill themselves all of their rights get taken away from them. It is their life and their body why can’t they kill them selves if they so wish? People have the right to abortion, that is also dealing with life and death. Generally people who kill themselves have been dealing with depression for years, wouldn’t it be easier for them to just kill them self? Who is to say it will get better?
I ask a simple question and expect a simple answer,
but no I get yelling and arguing back.
I tell you something important,
and you blow it off like you’ve heard it before.
I cry about the biggest and smallest things,
and you treat my tears like shit.
I dream about the greatest things in life,
only for you to be the nightmare when I wake up.