How do you tell the ones you love that you are suicidal? That every day you need to make a conscious decision? You have a stash of painkillers ready for the moment? That going to the mental ward again doesn’t solve the chronic physical pain? How do you reach out after so many failed “cures? “
That is what they say isn’t it….that you shouldn’t hurt yourself. that it’s wrong, unnatural. but i find that the people that usually say that. are the people in a judgmental position and have never felt enough pain to want to hurt themselves. To feel like they deserve to be hurt. these , of course, are my opinions and you’re free to disagree with them, but i think that if you have felt enough pain either physical or emotional in your life(or both) and you feel the need to self-harm. i fell that it is a coping mechanism and should be used….thoughts?
Can you imagine it?
No light,
No sound,
Senses ripped away,
Utterly unfathomble,
Endless Black,
Death,
No Heaven,
No Hell,
Just consumption
Just….Nothing
It’s not really worth living in is it? when you think about it, there are at least 100 unspeakable things that happen every second, we as people are dirty, filthy things unworthy of life if we do those kind of things with it….i just started posting here but i think that this world is filthy and just not worth living in. I hate it, and i feel an almost inherent hatred for a lot of people in it, if that makes me some kind of weirdo or psycho or sociopath then so be it, but thats just what i observe from living on this shit […]
Mom,
You didn’t fail,
You tried your best,
You believed,
You raised me to think,
That life was worthwhile,
That people were good inside,
That i was Perfect the way i was,
But Mom,
You don’t see,
You don’t see my mind,
You don’t see the futility,
The hatred,
The fear,
The pain,
I show you the brighter side,
So you won’t worry,
Or see my intentions,
I love you.
I’ve only been alive for 20 years, but every year i seem to realize, more and more, that life is entirely futile and not worth it. every year suicide seems more appealing. No matter how much i try to see the bright side or how much i try to create new things (art, music, etc.) i still feel empty and i feel that there really is nothing in this hollow world. nothing worth living for….money means nothing, love always leaves in the end, and everyone you know including yourself and myself, will eventully die. I fell that suicide is the most logical way […]
I was born some time ago. I never had any friends. Because my father was never there(he was always drinking and fucking anything with two legs), and I was raised by women, I was a serious wuss. Girls never liked me. But, I did have 1 chance that I didn’t take. Because I am a wuss. I never had any friends and barely went out if ever.
I will describe myself. I am skinny and ugly. About 5 11 , which sucks, cause I am neither tall nor short. I have to sit and listen to God saying suck it up. I have a huge nose […]
Days like today I look at my life and all the things that lead me to this point and I want to cry. Why me, why couldn’t I just be left to be happy with the one thing I wanted the most in this world? Happiness to me is like a high feeling like living in a fantasy, why couldn’t I just be left alone to live out that fantasy? But no reality had to step in and make itself known, and after that it was all ruined.Everything is changing and it is a permanent change, an inevitable change. I want to cry I want […]
Is it legit to be afraid of loneliness? Â Why so?
You are the only reason I’m still alive, everyday I wake up for you. I wake up so that I can call you once more so that I can hear your soft voice, or your pissed off grunts in the morning when I awaken you from asleep that is so much more important then me. I’m crazy your crazy, but together we are we’ll not completely normal but less crazy. You are my light at the end of a dark long tunnel, if I didn’t have you I would have nothing. Your brown/red/blondish hair is beautiful and I love running my fingers through it and […]
today is probably the worst day of my life. My girlfriend a few months back charged me with 6 different offenses, and that caused a lot of stress on me and one day I just got to the point I couldn’t take it anymore. I went to hang myself and just before I jumped I called her and she picked up as said she would come see me, and at no point did I think the cops would come because we’ll I trusted her, and she saved my life and after 4 mon this of that it was over but then she wanted to become […]
Disclaimer: I wrote this while contemplating suicide.
I wish I believed in God. If I did, perhaps I would be afraid of death. But death does not scare me; that is half the problem. If it did, I would be less likely to welcome it.
I love every one I spent my life up until now with, and gave so much of my time to. I don’t regret a thing.
If I ever were to leave this world, I’d want everyone to be happy – I want you all to know this.
If there was an end point, and I had no other option, I would leave peacefully.
Today people think is a big day. I am now 16 years old. Everyone always talks about having a “Sweet 16.” Like its just another age that youre turning. Its not really that big of a deal to throw all this money into a party.
As for me, Im gonna be sitting in my room on my laptop. All alone. Like always. Turning 16 isnt really much of a big deal to me. Its just another year that ive had to deal with the way i look. I hate the way i look. I wish i was turning 21 so i could drown my sorrows with […]
This is for those who chose to “hold my hand” last night. Questions, answers…..we are ALL pilgrims.
This is Pilgrim, sung by Ruthie Henshall, British musical theater star:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JEAln3dBE4
people always say that suicide is bad. but, why?
i think if a person wants to leave, they should be able to leave this world without any judgement.
everyone is going to die eventually, so why not now? all the memories we create are going to fade in the end anyway.
There’s always talk about habits like cutting, binging, drinking, ect on here.. But what good habits do you have?
Umm I guess for me, Whenever I text Zoe it’s really easy for me to tell what kind if mood she’s in. I can always tell when she’s upset by the way she texts. Another habit is I meditating at least 3 times a week.
So what about you?
Suicide….it is ever present in my mind…I’ve almost finished with all of the paperwork (will, power of attorney, advance directive, etc). I’ve prepaid for my cremation. The urge just won’t leave me alone or give me any respite, any rest. I think of suicide each and every day now.
I am so profoundly and desperately lonely. I have a constant headache. I could buy a gun tomorrow (this is Arizona where people openly carry them into restaurants)…I could answer the call of the Golden Gate Bridge….I just don’t know. I cannot discuss this with anyone I know, it’s already caused some people to avoid me and denigrate […]
I have become a caffeine addict for the reason that it is easier to tell myself that the unrest and disquiet I feel comes from a chemical stimulus rather than that my own body is unable to chemically stabilize itself. Â It, so far, is keeping me alive. Â Maybe if I can lie to myself, tell myself that this urge to cut, to die, is due to me drinking too much coffee, then I can stay here a little longer?
I want to understand why you guys post on here and what you get from it. I feel like shit and feel very numbly depressed…. and that is pretty much the only thing i feel motivated enough to say on here. None of you know me…. you can’t truly empathize with my problems and you can’t help me. So what’s the point?