I hate how after all this time, i still can’t find the courage to
try it with someone else. Because of you, i find it hard to trust
everyone around me as i think that they will just leave me like you
did.You broke all your promises and i’m scared that everyone else
will too. I’ve learnt to play on the safe side so i don’t get hurt.
Im scared of getting hurt again, of just being left broken again.
i just don’t know how to let anyone else in, I’ve tried my hardest
to just forget everything, all our memories, but they still creep
their way into my head.I’m forced to fake a smile, a laugh nearly
every day of my life, i just want to be happy again. I wish the
memory of you would stop haunting me. Because of you, i am afraid.
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3 comments
i feel similarly, but for me, except that it is not courage stopping me, but the lack of any way to avail any such opportunity.
I don’t want to trust anyone prematurely or for the wrong reasons… but there isn’t anyone else.
I no longer feel obligated, and do not submit to the compulsion to fake a smile or laugh. I will smile or laugh if it’s genuine, and not otherwise, and anyone who doesn’t like it can disappear.
My problem is not that i’m afraid, but that courage means confronting your fears… and there is no way for me to confront this beast, and either conquer it or die trying. All i can do is sit back and watch it continuously plague every moment of my existence, because there’s nothing i can do about it.
ugh… “i feel similarly, except that for me, it is not lack of courage stopping me…”
I feel your exact pain. I cant love anybody anymore except HER. I thought i could trust her with my love but she broke me in half. I have been drained of every emotion except defeat and sadness. I will always love her and i am hopeless