anybody know any tablets to take? Please! X

If you have been on the Suicide Project for awhile, you definitely notice that people are constantly coming and going. Some people are natives and always around. Some people join for a few months then depart from us, whether to live or to die. Some people lurk and may have their account active occasionally to post. And many, many people are just visitors, reading and looking for that certain comment that is just what they needed to read.

I recongniz3 (yeah 3 for e, like a boss) that there are quite a bit of comments and posts that lots of people […]

Early tomorrow morning 02/13/14 I’m going to go and try to attempt to jump off a very tall bridge/canyon. I guess I’m here just saying that I don’t know if I’m 100 percent going to actually jump, but there is a very good chance.  Some of you may know a little about myself from my last couple posts. I guess I am just writing this because it may be my last post and I hope all of  you the very best. This site has helped me live a little bit longer and try and get through but there’s just to much pain to endure.

If anyone can help me get grand canyon or any deserted place like an isle unhabitated or desert  just leave me there i wanna sit and wait to die … or even the amazon .. i don’t have places like this in my country..

I dont know maybe life does get easyer, but right now its getting harder for me to live.. im not the best but I at least try to be there for everyone… people expect alot from me but HELLO im only a 15 year old girl… im just one person they cant expect me to do everything at once..ONE DAY I WILL CHANGE WHATS IN FRONT OF ME…

This is a sinking ship,
and all around me is water seeping into
my shoes filling it and making me remember
this is only temporary,
that we’re only temporary.

I keep trying to plug this hole in the side
of this boat, but no matter how much glue
I put on it,
it keeps filling up with water.

We don’t have much longer
before we drown,
you may be a skilled swimmer
but we’ll both go down if we don’t
get out now.

-FCS

Every day I go threw the same thing, constantly being picked on and being asked things like “Why can’t you be like everyone else?” or “Why can you just be normal?” or “Get over it you have no reason to feel bad.”

But I don’t want to be normal, or like everyone, and I do have reasons to feel bad… Every year I move some where new because of my parents money problems, I am all ways alone and forgotten about, and just wish to die sometimes…

I have tried cutting, but get caught before there is even a mark on me… I have tried using a […]

You sent me a text tonight Telling me you were proud of me. I needed to see that more then you know. I needed to see something good to take away from the bad. You told me I was strong. But I’m not. I’m so severely depressed right now I literally can’t move. I need you to know how much I need you with me through this.

A little over a year ago I met the love of my life. We had everything in common, he made me laugh, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. For a few months, he seemed to be in love with me, too. But after a few months, he just lost interest in me. He stopped wanting to have sex and acted like he was annoyed of me and that I was a chore. We broke up and 2 months later he was dating someone else. The girl he started dating is beautiful, smart, and has lots of friends. They are […]

Fuck fuck FUCK! I didn’t nearly gather the courage. There was this really sweet and kind NCO, who had been there since the beginning, and I trusted well enough to tell. But fuck me, I didn’t have the courage to talk about it. She often seemed understanding, and I usually tell people I trust everything. The squadron is my family, and I am undoubtedly going to tell someone. I know they could easily help me. If I’m FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK alive by then, then I will. I’ve always secretly liked her, so that doesn’t help for FUCKING SHIT.

I deserve rest and peace. Please. why, I might do it tomorrow but tonight im to tired. Goodnight everyone. If I do it will be responsibly done quick and easy. Of couse I have Bi polar, of course I suffered childhood trauma, of course I attempted before, of course I cut, of course I have gambling and drinking problems. shit paranoia is the worst. I have paranoia disorder.

I hate two faced people.

It’s so hard to decide which face to slap first…

http://youtu.be/ZGdYtgLRws0

la mort est belle
présenter dans les ténèbres
présenter dans l’abîme noir
présenter dans le néant

la mort est inconnue
essayer de rejoindre
essayer d’obtenir de l’aide
essayer de parler aux gens

la mort est un adieu
dire au revoir
rien que des mensonges
alors qu’ils réalisent

la mort n’est pas comme la vie
“la vie est courte”
que si vous le faites à court
peut-être je vais raccourcir la mine

la mort est étonnant
son évasion, oui permanent
mais est une évasion
un au revoir attristant que

death is beautiful
submit into the darkness
submit into the black abyss
submit into the nothingness

death is unknown

I wish you cared like you told me you did.
I so desperately want to tell you what’s in my head, how I want to end my life, how all I really want is your help.
I need you, right now. But I’m too scared to let you know.

I have a plan.
I have a date.
I have the materials.
All I need is the courage.

Reaching out
Is difficult
Getting help
Is difficult

Why?
You ask.
I don’t know.
I reply.

Sitting there
Just talking
A serious
Solemn talk

Why?
They ask.
I don’t know.
I reply.

Talking about
Things like
My feelings
My thoughts

Why?
He asks.
I don’t know.
I reply.

A silence
A terrible
Tension filled
Dark silence.

Why?
She asks.
I don’t know.
I reply.

They stare
At me
With bewilderment
Surprised faces

Why?
All of them ask.
Because
I reply.

She cries because she knows I have plans to end it, but I can’t bring myself to tell her she is the reason I’m still alive and the reason I’m so close to dying. She doesn’t want me to die…but the mindset is in place and I don’t know what to do.

I really i’m kind of confused about this. It’s a suicide project, and even when I definitely don’t want to hurt or kill myself, I feel like i’m dying slowly. My disease is tedium, a horrible boredom that I can’t wash away. The worse thing is probably that I can’t explain what I feel, the best expression probably is: I feel like a scab.
I was looking for some help, but the thing is how can somebody help me if even I can’t tell what is going on. It’s probably the nearest thing to “nothing”. “Nothing” is taking away anything from me. So I went […]

Hey I’m new to this website and I think I might be in the right place. So a little bit about myself… Well, I’m a cutter and I have tried suicide about 5 times already. My mom told me that if I really wanted to die, I would have succeeded already. And my dad told me that he would help me by getting the pills or talking to a doctor to put me down… So, I might make rants or post the suicide notes/letters I wrote on here. Maybe if I try again, I’ll post. Anyway, bye everyone… For now.

I have deep depression. I fought it for years. then my meds wearing down without me realizing. was going suicidal before I…the only word I can think of is “forced:-I forced myself to confide in my parents…

from there I eventually started looking for support-in a few very close friends, in my siblings. I got aggressive in making the hurt and sadness disappear.

this isn’t the point and I don’t want to get sidetracked.

the point is im sick of it. just sick. revolted. tired. world weary.

eventually my supporters took my happier demeanor for granted. I was looking for more responsibility and was up and about more-but it […]