if i just disappeared,
would you know?
would you care?
would you look for me there?
i know you would search,
you’d fail, but you’d try,
and you’d cry,
for this horrible loss,
of a shadow that lost
it’s battle with life,
i tried oh so hard,
but i failed,
life derailed,
down the suicide path,
it was painless and fast,
i didn’t want to last,
and now Im gone,
and you cry for me,
you cut deep,
and you weep,
and you lose lots of sleep,
but you slowly move on,
and you no longer care,
about the girl who should not have been […]
It’s been a week or 2 since I lasst posted, but I figured I would give you all an update. That is, if anyone cares.
So I went to the state tournament. And won, then lost, then won again. At this point, I was one match away from placing in my state tournament. Tough kid I had to take, but I was confident. Anyways, 3, 2, 1, wrestle! So we did, and I was winning for a time, then he got desperate, and I ended up losing.
After that, I cried for a bit. (I know I know, men don’t cry, but since I am […]
I feel like I’m such a failure, I’m 23 nothing to show for my life… I have a dead-end job with a small company… I’ve attempted college several times already, just don’t seem to have enough ambition. I can’t afford anything, I barely make enough to pay rent, electric, & gas… Yet I don’t qualify for help from the government… I look around at everyone else and wonder why am I in such a shitty situation, why can’t I be happy, why can’t I afford to eat everyday; pay my bills; and live a normal life… I am feel everyone is always judging me… I […]
I used to think that I was strong, that nothing could break me. Untill one day when I was in 6th grade I was with my step dad and He raped me. I told my mom and she got mad at me and said I’m a liar and not to say anything to anyone. I couldn’t keep it in. It hurt me so much. I told my 5 closest friends, and I thiught I could trust them. I was wrong. They told everyone. I came back to school 2 weeks later and these girls said I wanted it and i was a slut […]
It seems as though I have been waiting so long for my life to end. I just manage to live through another day and then another night. It is my hope that each day will be the last. Each evening as I fall asleep I hope that I will not awaken.
I’m so stressed out. I’ve been so down this school year. I’ve let my grades slip. I hardly go to school anymore and when I do, I skip class. I’ve already gone to truancy court once and will probably go again since I’ve violated probation. I’m not sure I’ll make it to being a senior next year. I don’t want to repeat junior year. I do not want to spend an extra year in that hellhole of a school. I’m slowly getting my grades  up, I’m not a dumb kid. I can do the work. It’s just that I’ve been so depressed I become distracted by my thoughts […]
Trying to summarize what has brought me to this place is pretty difficult. When your life is fine (good job, wife, kids) and you still think about killing yourself every day, what do you do? I just have a hard time dealing with the pointlessness and the daily sameness. And the fear. I’m sick and tired of the constant fear that something bad is going to happen to someone I love, especially one of my kids or my wife. So I try to practice my zen breathing and try to live in the moment, and try to appreciate the moment I’m experiencing right now, and […]
It’s been three weeks since I picked up a knife
And took it to my skin, when I began to slice
With each cut I made, the weaker I felt
And my heart had been filled to the top with guilt
It’s been two weeks since I wanted to die
To just disappear, oh how I wanted to cry
I wanted to lay in my grave and never wake again
But instead I took my feelings down with paper and a pen
It’s been one week since I last had bad thoughts
I’ve been doing what I can to survive, with everything I’ve got
I’ve been revived, I’m living a life
A life where I don’t […]
everyone on here seems to have these incredible stories. everyone has all these reasons as to why they’re so depressed. sure i have stupid normal issues but nothing that bad that i should want to kill myself. but i do.
im about to start failing classes because all i can do in class is think about killing myself.
i’m new to this site.
but so far everyone seemsto have a good reason for being so depressed and i don’t.
and it sucks.
I’ll pass the torch to you my dear,
You’ll take my troubles; take my fears.
Don’t worry love, it’s not too bad
Forget the life you could’ve had
Honest smiling, laughter too,
That kind of stuff’s just not for you
You’ll live for me, fix my mistakes,
I’ll be there every step you take
So you’ll remember,
And not forget,
That I left you, no regrets
Why do you cry, what’s wrong pet,
You’re only paying back my debts
Why have hope when you have me,
I’m all you could ever need
I’m by your side, and this is true
I’ll always look after you.
psych
I had something to say, something clever and witty. Now I can’t even remember what it was. Like I’m losing track of my own mind. I’m good at my job, I think. But today, I couldn’t remember how to do even the basic stuff. And I really want to hit the voice in my head, even though that wouldn’t work, and it’s a stupid idea.
Need to vent. Try and puke this stuff up on the page (sorry).
I have Bipolar 1, and I have it bad. It’s ruined my life. While manic I did so many crazy and awful things.
When criminals are tried, if a doctor says they were ‘of unsound mind’ that can be a defence.
I have no such defence. Nobody ain’t defending me, and I can’t defend myself.
I brought a child into the world under these regrettable circumstances.
He now, understandably, hates me.
I distract myself continually. I can’t let myself dwell on the past, present or future.
Long time since I posted here. I came back.
Putting my hopes in somehow […]
My best friend (were both girls) this weekend kissed me. We both like each other a lot. And we know about it. But i just told her lets not do it again Because i don’t wanna ruin our friendship. I just ruined it though by telling her shes mad at me now. Its hurts a lot. I ruined our friendship, I ruined it. Shes the best thing that’s ever happened to me. But she deserves better. I want to go to sleep and never wake up. No one will ever be able to love me. Â I push everyone away. I’m a terrible person. Her heart […]
I’m new of the page, and I wanted to start by asking people here, if, for them, all of this feelings of depression, the despair, the death wish, had a beginning, that’s to say, some kind of catalyst that started to bring your life down, to the point where ir became unbearable…
When I was 6 years old, I got sexually abused by a guy who used to work for my parents. I was too little to understand what had happened, but still I told my mother ALL OF IT, and she just dismissed it with a casual “You must have dreamed (dreamt?) it”. Obviously, when […]
I’m probably going to kill myself tomorrow. The anxiety is getting too much for me to handle and I can’t do it anymore. I live day to day but now that life is trying to get me to move beyond that, I simply cannot follow. I’d rather die instead than live with this pain. Physical and emotional.
I love my boyfriend so much, I love my friends but they have to understand that I just cannot keep living anymore. What’s the point of trying to continue when all it does it just get worse and worse. Like what was said in Prozac Nation, people are supposed […]
VVVVVVV (that IS the sound a vibrating phone makes)
It was 2:30AM when I awoke to the vibrating sounds of my phone. It was Elly. She was hysterical – crying and beyond the definition of upset. She told me to come to the pedestrian bridge immediately. I didn’t ask any questions but I had a bad notion of what was going on. When I arrived to the waterfront I was greeted by an endless crisscrossing of yellow tape, countless flashing lights, police, firetrucks, and an ambulance. There were even police boats stationed on the river. Elly and other friends of ours were talking to the authorities. […]
well i guess this is it. Don’t waste your time to stop me because by the time you read this i’m gone. I’m scared but i know i will go through with this. I just hope there is something better on the other side.
I’m sorry world, you’ll just have to do without me.
so I am 5 weeks pregnant, and anyone who has followed my posts know what a big deal it is for me to  have a baby, back in 2012 i had a miscarriage at 10 weeks and that tore me appart. I nearly killed myself. Now i have a chance to be a mother again, my boyfriend and I even planned this baby, but he also knows i am at high risk pregnancy loss  and i suffer with cronic anxiety. I also have a tilted uterus too witch is harder for me to carry a child. . as i said before people whom have follow […]
I dug myself a hole of depression. Now I’m stuck, so the only thing left to do is keep on digging and see where it leads. Well I found where it leads, in a girl from somewhere and a guy from somewhere.
Suicide- according to them is the answer; end result or whatever you want to call it. However, I live in fear of the day I’m told I’m going to die. Ironic, considering I want it most in the world some times.
Of coarse everyday I tell myself and numerous others that I’m “fine”. Which I am. I mean there is literally no other word to […]
