Numb. Tears. Fear. Loss. Alone. Him. Gone. Stupid. Black&White. Sound. Betrayal. Silence. Eyes. Looks. Words. Judgements. Ache. Need. Dreams. Darkness. Where. Why. Please. Him. Him. Him, him, him, him, him, him, him…

“Scythe”

Arise affinity.
Chosen Lords, where art thou, [in space and time].
Navigate through this hell.
The torch that beholds, humanity’s alpha line.
The seal. Black.
Death Valley squadron, the wild card. Save me.
Void of me like void of life.
Monstrous atrocity. All I’ve ever known is global cold existence.
Scythed. And poison.
Rising cold Aquarius. From death, unto life.
Our fate.
My fate, in black infinity.
Intolerable iron satan of hell, in second master molding.
The second final, in counting.

//

Master of light. Monster of hell.
Duality of the scale, in my blood.
Forever etch, in pilgrimage.
Lucifer. Bringer of light. Satan’s salvation.
Duality, the […]

My friends.. Before.. They were all I had and what made me stay.

But they saw how people began to hate me.. And decided they didn’t want to be seen with me.. So they all left.

Now I’m here, still depressed.

All alone.

Friendless.

Feeling so useless to the world.

I mean, why live anymore??

No reason anymore.

So, I have been on this website for a few days now just reading. Now I believe I am ready to tell my story. Please do not judge me for this, all negative comments are not welcomed here.

I met this guy about a year ago this time. We met through some friends, he seemed cool but I paid no attention to him because I had a wonderful boyfriend at the time. A few days after meeting this guy he messaged me on Facebook, he told me how he was not going to lie to me and that he had developed a crush on me. I […]

I’m still here, you all ever wake up and you feel ok for that one millisecond and then your brain fires up and you just utter the words I’m alive. I may as well tell a little story when I naively tried to overdose on alcohol and pills.

Drug overdose is a very wide spectrum and there is a very good chance that you will not die from them and only cause yourself more pain. I tried drug overdose mixed with a lot of alcohol and my friend walked in on me. I didn’t do a damn thing but humiliate and feel guilt when I had […]

Friday night

Comes and goes

I’m laying here

All alone

Misery visits

As well as my haunting past

Hoping this pain doesn’t last.

A voice

Says

“Darling, you are

Nothing anymore.”

And I believe the words it speaks.

Hands are sweaty

Body is weak.

I grab a chair

and my noose

Hanging it high

Letting my demons loose.

Now I’m gone.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmkV-knwk2k

So, I had an appointment at exactly 10 o’clock sharp this morning to see a psychiatrist, whom I’ll be seeing frequently now, as well as two other counselors.

Anyways, the session was HORRID.

I was taken to the “Nurse’s Office” to be weighed, my height to be checked, blood pressure was taken, and last to have my pulse checked, followed by a series of medical questions.

Then taken a few doors down to the psychiatrist, who was a nice older lady, who talked about my cat sweater I’m wearing.

Being aware that I’m usually being questioned one on one, I figured it would be her asking me the questions, […]

pretending to be normal is so exhausting. not to mention that I can’t sleep, and haven’t for three days. wish I could sleep. Things might be a little better if I could.

Anyone else on here have extremely loud, racing thoughts?

It’s like there are 50 different thoughts at once, all yelling at me.

:/ I mean it’d be nice to have a quiet mind, for once.

By legitimate, I don’t mean legal. Obviously, most people here are going through some type of (intense) pain. What I mean is, are there circumstances, both internal and external to an individual, which a group of mature, impartial observers would agree are so unbearable, and so unlikely to be changed, that suicide is a rational choice, maybe even a compassionate one ?

I once met someone who said that no one should commit suicide before 40, because s/he hadn’t lived enough to know what his/her possibilities were.

And not I’m talking about the sanctity of life issue, which being a religious/personal one, can never be decided on […]

Fuck you world.  Just fuck you.

Why the fuck are you making me suffer so much?  Why is everyone constantly screwing me over?  I just can’t take the injustices anymore.

I don’t want to live, but I don’t want to die either.

I’m sick of the pain and frustration that life forces on you… there is no escaping it. But I’m afraid that my attempt at ending it will fail, and that I’d continue to live as a vegetable or in a form of agonizing physical pain.

I also do not wish to cause my mother grief, nor anyone else for that matter. Pain is the exact thing I’m trying to avoid in life, so I’ve never gone out of my way to hurt others. She did not wish for a daughter that would have rather not […]

At school…ugh just have a feeling im going to sleep in one of my classes…counldnt sleep last night over that woke up to be SICK….hate it, hate being sick

I used to like waking up in the morning. But now I can’t stand it. I stay up late unable to sleep. I don’t want to wake up every morning. I want to sleep forever.

She knows what’s happening to me. She knows what people are egging me on and trying to get me to do. All she has to say is “Die already”.

Make millions of money, own a big yacht with a copter on top of it
go to jail, write a book
let famous hero make a movie out of it and watch him take Oscar
turn out a public speaker

not

finish the graduation
get a avg paying job
ugly looking wife
mediocre kids
If someone ask, why you building yet another avg life on earth? reply him ” I like what I do and I am curious to learn, my goal in life is not to become great, my goal is just to live happy avg life”

To be frank, self convincing power saving lots of human lives on earth. Without it 90% human lives don’t have […]

I couldn’t say that things are alright.

Because I can’t remember the last time they were.

And the truth is that I have been battling each day,

just trying to hold my head above water.

I don’t want to live like that anymore.

I don’t want to live in state of constant battle with myself.

While I will never expect to see myself happy;

I refuse to continue to be my own worst enemy.

When everyone wants to see me fail,

I have to be the one who is rooting for me.

I have to be the one who proves everyone wrong.

I have lot of experiences( good and bad)

Why my brain only interested in bad experiences I have?

When I am trying to direct thoughts to good experiences it feels like foolish to me

May be this is how depressed peoples “meta brain” works 🙂

My name is Denise.

I am 17 years old.

I am a junior.

This is my story and the events that led me here.

I was born and raised in Texas. Honestly, I’ve been depressed as far back as I can remember. Sure I laughed and played like anyone else as a child, but there was a darkness I could feel consuming me as I grew up. When I progressed into middle school that’s when I began to let the darkness in. I was bullied.  I met girls who cut. And so I started to cut too. It felt good. I cut […]