I know many of you appreciate a good read… I’m almost finished with this book and trust me….you need to read it….verrryyyy enlightening…
anyways….thats all….have a great day guys….and remember SP is always here to help 😀
I lasted 98 days without a real cut, it was the hardest thing iv ever done but my dad stopped hating me, then the voices came back and i fought it and then the thoughts got strong again, and i kept fighting until the insomnia hit. I lasted 6 days with no sleep before i cut, i cut two days in a row then last night i cut to deep and had to be taken to hospital and stitched up again. The nurses all know me at this point and they al just shake their heads at me. More stitches to add the the collection […]
I have started the process of getting a legal Will made. This is essential because if I don’t have one whatever I have goes to the next of kin which I absolutely can’t allow to happen. I feel much better knowing that this will be in place soon.
The Living Will is more challenging. I only have one friend, well, I actually have two friends but only one I can count on, however, I’m not convinced he will step up in the right way if I am in hospital and can’t make decisions for myself. I hope he can but it is a lot to ask […]
It’s one of those mornings that you wake up. Wake up numb. Numb and empty. I can’t even make sense of my thoughts right now, because there are none, but, at the same time, too many things are rushing through my head.
I feel nothing, I feel loneliness, I hate myself for missing him like this. The numbness stabbing at my heart. He’s done enough, don’t be stupid.
I woke up with that feeling of knowing that your voice might break if someone makes you talk right now. But I don’t want them to know I’m dying little by little inside, fear and insecurity taking over me.
Stare […]
” Except some 10% of humans, remaining all are just meat bags
I really don’t know from where these 90% humans getting motivation for living
These 10% of humans at least leaving some footprint on earth. they may be remembered for next 100 or 200 years
But remaining 90% humans, No one knows what they really trying to do with life. simply assisting that 10% of humans.
Out of this 90%, some realized the fact and in dilemma whether to commit suicide or not. Average humans who are non suicidal are  just foolish ”
Question is: Â If an average person* with strong self convincing power is living happily, isn’t he […]
Fingers positioned readily on the keyboard, pondering: ‘What story could I possibly recount that would validate my decision to end my life?’ Dispassionate and solemn, I dismissed the momentary notion to expatiate philosophically or quixotically –– I’ve had enough of cerebral & idealistic quests… ‘Has the nexus of your identity transmogrified into a psychogenic tabula rasa?’ Nonsense… Re: personal past and present-day, I have nothing to offer but silence; I simply want to die.
I dont know how many of you feel misunderstood by sheeple and what I like to call educated fools. My life has been filled with sexual abuse at a young age. Being brought into the world by an unstable 14 year old mother who really has horrible choice in men. Family that’s in denial of their sick and twisted faults and continue to pass on the demons from generation to generation instead of cutting the head off the snake. Mental illness and being able to read people for who they really are but still give them the benefit of the doubt because of […]
Scared to hang out with people people from my highschool and past because im still kinda awkward
You ever feel numb inside and you just dont want to anything, Â you think about how many people you have hurt you know that you put them through so much pain. You know inside that you should just find a way to get your mind off of things but you turn your music up but your head phones on and all you think about is dying. All you want to do die. Lay in the road…JUST GET OUT OF THE WORLD.. Your ex text you and you just want to cry.. You just want to grab your blade but then you remember you flushed them […]
I have posted this before but I can’t find the post
Guess I am to stupid to find my way around here. How do I find my post again?
Would you tell me about hight again, please!
thank you
Here are a few songs that I have listened to constantly when I feel depressed or suicidal. Hope you like them 🙂
1. Whispers By David Baxter  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIpvxcrdXbc
2. Running Up That Hill By Placebo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vP0ngiMBnas
3. What Now By Rihanna http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdid9kBnPEU
4.Yellow Light By Of Monsters And Men http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gb9hKzNmgJ8
5. After the Storm By Mumford & Sons http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3RP1VbUaaA
6. Amsterdam By Coldplay http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgfvOqJftIY
7. Hurt By Johnny Cash http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ahHWROn8M0
At the moment that I am typing, I am quite drunk. Unlike all the times in the past, for the very first time, I am actually drunk for a good reason. I am not drunk because I am depressed. I am drunk because I am actually happy. I will be able to tell by tomorrow if I will be okay though.
I was making this IHOP shots (50% of Butterscotch Schnapps + 50% of Crown Royal Whiskey shot.. and then followed by orange juice) . It is actually quite tasty. After about 7 to 8 shots..you feel this feeling of FREEEEe……dom. Anyway, I am quite conscious […]
I’ve been dealing with depression for half my life. Originally I thought that getting out of my parents house would help. there, I lived constantly waiting for the next incident, next fight, and the only way I ever learned to walk was on eggshells. I tried diving into painting, but it didn’t always work. By the time I graduated high school, I was cutting, throwing up and eating as little as possible almost every day.
I thought that moving away and attending college would help, but instead things only got worse. All of my bad behaviors became more frequent, to the point that they actually caused […]
in order to overcome it you have to have hope that you can. On an unrelated,and quite weird note, sometimes i think about something and then i think about thinking about that something and my brain gives up. for instance i’m thinking about writing this while thinking about the other times when i thought too much and made my brain hurt. Ridiculous.
Ok so ik when i say i wanna kill myself.. nobodies gonna say shit because im not important anymore. Nobody fucking cares about me except maybe one person and im loosing her to her boyfriend. She says i have a perfect life and nothing is wrong with it, thats because i dont tell her everything.
I cut myself, so deep i couldnt pay attention to anything but that during school, i cry myself to sleep.. Every night, i never knew my real dad and i got my two foster Brothers taken away from me, my step dad ruins my life, so i was thinking, if […]
I was smoking at the window. Then I “saw” myself lying dead on the road. No blood. I saw myself from behind just dead and for the first time since I’m thinking death should be a solution to my problems I got the courage (I felt an impulse) to jump. I was feeling good imagining me jumping from the window. I’m still afraid from that feeling. My life is just a piece of shit and I found no ways to get rid of my frustrations. Years studying, getting good grades and fighting against a chronicle disease that have ruined my life and only gave me […]
Hi Guys,
Welp its day 11. I just want to thank all of you who stuck with me. No this is not a goodbye note, but just a thank you. Your comments (well most of the comments) helped me and comforted me. 😀 So thank you especially to Michael, OnlyLOVEisReal, and The Koji, you guys have helped me so very much and I hope you continue to comment on my posts. 😀
Another note thing is that I do post poems, but sometimes they’re at random times, and I’m sorry for that, and so maybe you don’t see them. So I just wanted to put that out […]
I’ve experimented with a lot of substances in my life. Over the course of probably like 7ish years I’ve tried Psychedelics (LSD, 2CE, DMT – my FAVORITE DRUG), Cocaine, Benzodiazepines (Klonopin, Valium, Xanax, Restoril, Ativan), Stimulants (Amphetamines, Adderall, Focalin, Methylphenidate, Vyvanse), marijuana, alcohol, and the best of the best: opiates (OxyContin, heroin, hydrocoone, oxycodone, oxymorphone, hydromorphone, morphine, methadone, suboxone, subutex, etc.) – you get the point. For the most part I’ve been responsible with drug usage. Things never got out of hand and addiction was a foreign concept to me. But when shit hit the fan a few years ago, I lost all […]