I am still a cutter. Only occasionally. I do it because I am addicted to it. I imagine this is how smokers feel. I get a high off it that makea me feel alive. Then there is the fun of hiding the cuts. There is one thing that bothers me though. It is the thought that I can see myself dead on ten years by my own hand. I don’t know why but I think I will take my own life. I’m currently mentally stable but I can shake the feeling that someday I won’t and that will be very bad. i honestly feel like […]
I will begin this exactly as my heading describes, where should I start? I have to check myself constantly. If I speak freely, I sound callous. I am far from. I have a five year old who relies on my ability to not be callous. I have a boyfriend who loves me and my daughter and loves the part of me that is untouchably optimistic. That being said, a big part of me is constantly pretending for everyone else’s sake. I’m always pretending to be ok. So my parents, child, and friends won’t worry about me. Almost three years ago my daughters father committed suicide. […]
well hi my name is Natalie and i’m new to this. um… iv’e been feeling kind of down.. what hurts the most is when someone tells you, ” you have nothing to be depressed about”. i bet a lot of you know how that feels. nobody really understands how hard this is, how hard it is to breath, to wake up in the morning, to wake up at all. nobody really knows what your going until its way to late… nobody will ever get it. how much it all hurts, the big decision of deciding if its the right time to say goodbye.. or is […]
I want to talk about is the feeling that I have been getting lately because I need to get it out of my head and take some of the pressure that is building off my brain. I have been getting that numb feeling back that’s causing me to get the cutting thoughts coming back and they’re hard to fight off. When you work with blades everyday and I have those thoughts it’s hard not to take that knife into the bathroom and just let it happen. I’ve even started seeing it in my head watching the blood going down my arms and feeling that light-headed […]
So tempting
Just one cut
Just a few pills
A last breath
So tempting
So just die
Not breathe again
A black abyss
But alas
I cannot
Too many hearts broken
Too much grieving
But I start to wonder
Who really cares?
Who would really grieve?
Who would really cry?
everyone says its better to say a hurtful truth than a comforting lie but what if there was no lie to be said at all.. what if you had only hurtful truths to tell someone.. wouldn’t you want to spare them the pain even if it kills you inside
Im lost in this big world and cant seem to find where i belong….everyday i feel like im drowning and i cant seem to find the surface….i go through the motions everyday just to appear normal when i cry myself to sleep every day….i just wish someone could pull me out of this slump or just let me die already…..
Why is everyday so excruciating. Why am I told I am worthless every day. Why am I told that my father does not care about me. Why am I always feeling so pathetic. Why did my mother never care to be by my side, why did she leave me with this asshole. Why am I living like this when I am trying so hard to get out. This is getting so unbearable but I’m too scared to actually kill myself. Goddammit why can’t I just kill myself.
go if you need to
no please stay with me
no you have important things you need to do
no i need you here with me
no go i’ll be okayish not really
no i won’t please stay with me
no go you may go
no please don’t go stay with me
no go you need to do things
no please i need you
no go you should go do things
no please stay with me
no…just…i don’t know
take care of my heart
it’s been broken
it’s been shattered
it’s been ripped apart
take care of my heart
take care of my heart
it’s fragile
it’s pained
it’s hurt
take care of my heart
take care of my heart
it’s been ripped to shreds
it’s been bruised
it’s been cut
take care of my heart
take care of my heart
i’m giving a piece of it to you
all i ask of you
is to
take care of my heart
Hey. I’m back again, and guess what? It’s about the same girl. Let’s call her Annabeth this time. So, for Christmas, me and Annabeth were pretty happy. i was saying cutesy things, and she was responding that same way. We were both pretty happy. I went to a swim camp for a week, and we facetimed every night after practice. She made it a point to get me to tell her I love her and wish her good night on FaceTime. Of course, I was happy to do so. Then, after camp, things went downhill. It all started one day when she was reading my […]
Hi, it’s me again.. I’ve been feeling a little bit better now.. I don’t go to my classes anymore. I think i’m gonna start smoking. But i don’t cry EVERY night anymore. Today i got the guts to snapchat my ex.. and it wasn’t a very good idea.. She sent a picture where it stood “Aww!<3 you know i want to cutie!<3<3” and then she sent another one “Oh, sorry! Wrong person..” and That’s when i started crying like fuck and threw my Phone stonehard into the wall.. iIsleep 2 hours every night and i can’t stop thinking of her.. Please tell me what to […]
So yesterday morning I decided to talk to my managers and get help. The really listened. One of them drove me to the hospital where I said I wanted to be put on a hold. The doctors ran a few tests and decided that it was best for me to go home. My parents had to get me, and because I’m 19, the doctors didn’t tell my parents anything, so I basically got yelled at by my mom, who won’t really talk to me now. My dad said that he’d look into making me an appointment at the base clinic. But so far, the people […]
suicide is my only way for me now i am 34 ,just a bad quality person selfish stupid slow,i have no friends no carizma i have 2 kids from 2 different women but i dont feel sad to leave them in this world may be because i hadn’t enough love in my childhood –. i cannot take anything seriously and no one take me seriously . …now i have a serious problem and i dont have any power to face it because i know that all the stories of success or love or happyness are just dreams .the only truth is that we are mortals […]
Fucken genesis *****
Before time and light there was only the never beginning and never ending darkness, nothing was born yet everything died in the ever hungry and all consuming darkness only to be spat out as more darkness, darkness breading darkness that fed off its own darkness, ever hungry and never truly satisfied the darkness was destined to eat its own body to fuel its ever exspanding self, for the darkness was there before space and distance were concieved, making it incomprehensibly vast and infinitesimally minute, constantly growing and shrinking in complete chaos. but in its ever ravanous stomach something was brewing, bits of the […]
http://www.wikihow.com/Act-Like-a-Pixie
Hi Guys,
Not really in the mood to write anymore. But some of you like it so… I’ll continue on.
How am I? I feel just so… lonely. My friend and I went on a night hike last night. (weird thing to do, but it was fun ish.) About 10 cars passed and all I though was it’d be easy. It’d be so easy to just jump in front of a car… It’d be so easy to just get hit… And just die. I mean I’m so small I bet it would kill me instantly, but then I thought of my deal. I jump, you jump. […]
Sp used to be a home for me but now it’s been defiled with regilious babble it’s so annoying guys seriously just stop already the rules say no preaching and this has gone way too far for the sake of the non religious …..could you please stop
Kris
Option 1: Work hard, Create a company, Die naturally perhaps happily
Option 2: Try to find the answer to the question ” Why human life is pointless”, Â suicide one fine day
Option 3: Go to Himalaya, practice how not to think anything (meditation) because thinking on ” why human life is pointless?” Â is also pointless. wait till death happens