I cant talk to anyone anymore because they cant understand me. They think im some radical crazy piece of fvck. I guess theyre right.

I’ve created my own prison…

Do girls like shy guys?

Hello everyone, I wish I were dead.

I wanted to drive my car off the road today….but my partner was with me.  I would NEVER intentionally do that to anybody.  But still, it’s pretty scary to have such a strong desire to die when you’re behind the wheel.  I had to pull over, get out, and ask him to take over for me.  That’s how bad the urge was…….I almost don’t think I will drive anymore….

I don’t think there’s any need to explain why I want to die.  Sometime I don’t think it matters because I believe I’m just predisposed to feel this way.  I don’t […]

“you are your own enemy”… but is there anything else to do? enmity is not my problem, its more like a timepass. punishing and punishing and punishing. or i may change my attitude towards other side and it will become doing  good  and doing good and doing good. but what does it matter? how are they any different? choosing one over other – what is being achieved by it, other than me becoming happy instead of sad? and how is that happiness any different than sadness? i don’t see any point in choosing, i don’t see why i should choose one over the other. i […]

I tried overdose…so obviously nothing happened but I slept for for ever why am I so weak why can’t I just finish myself off

Fuck college……I am not going to get in anyway……..>.>

I was with a guy on and off for a little over a year. Even when we were broken up we still messed around its like we were still together even though we really weren’t.. I was and still am madly and deeply in love with him his my first love when Ever I’m with him words can’t describe how I feel.. He would look me dead in the eyes and tell me plenty of times I was his one nd only nd he loved me.. I believed..stupid me..as of yesterday he has a new girlfriend..and I sit here still in disbelief I want to […]

Last year I broke up with a long term partner, during the last stages of the relationship i wished to die every single night (my prayers werent answered) I tried to commit suicide when i was 14 by hanging but people kept going upstairs where i was going to do it. The last time i was 17 and over dosed on pills. After the break down of my relationship, i had to move back to my parents house, the only one who i spoke to about my suicidal feelings was a family member, just how i was planning it.

At the beginning of this year he […]

I know i’ve been asking a lot of questions lately. Forgive me.

I need help and advice, at the start of this month I tried to kill myself and when someone realised she made me promise not to self harm for the rest of the month at the very least. I foolishly promised her as she managed to look like she actually cared and was in distress over it but I immediately realised my mistake. It’s been twenty three days and I’ve avoided any self harm so far but I really really feel the need to cut right now. I don’t want to break my promise, please, what do you guys do to stop yourselves from cutting […]

Got rejected by Stanford University, does my remaining life worth living?

Don’t I have a choice, instead of spending a precious human life on earth as a mediocre?

Without self convincing myself  ” not all great people are from Stanford University”

All I can think about is death selfharm ing dosent help anymore it hasn’t been this bad in forever…I can just see myself doing it and feeling nothing I just want everything to be over and done with I can’t do this anymore im a failure a worthless whore fuck up who’d be better in the ground at least doing somethin. Right…..

He doesn’t get it. When I text him at 1 in the morning it’s fucking important. I know i shouldn’t be hanging on to him like that. He’s not my life line. My best friend is out of town and she’s always the one I would turn to, but in my relationship I should be aloud to turn to him right. Six seconds later on his answer text… Lets just say I’m still here though. I love him… I think. He shouldn’t have to put up with this. I want him to get it though. He thinks that I can just talk to a councellor […]

When I attempted suicide in 2012 I spoke with a shrink before I left to an institution. Do you know what he said? He said what I do to myself would effect not only me but my loved ones as well.The reason why I thought of suicide was because I over think what others think of me. Doesn’t that suck that even before we end our lives were suppose to still care for everyone else. What do you think?

So.. this is my first time being on this site so I want my first post to get some help to learn about this site. Anyone wanna help me? haha. Feel free to tell all you want. Anyway. Hopefully I can get some help or support for some of the things ive been going through. Thanks guys. Byee 🙂

How is crazy defined. Crazy comes on so many levels; good and bad. I’m a bad crazy. I didn’t realize it until just now. It may be the swirling darkness in my brain that has finally led me to this conclusion or it could be the excessive amount of dextromethorphan in my body. As I look back on my life I see that I have always been different. I was never the kid who wanted to go out and play. I was the kid who wanted to stay inside and sit in a corner and read a book.  This carries on into my adulthood, where I […]

I hate my family and friends for caring so much. For expecting so much. It’s hard knowing there are people out there rooting for your success but you know you aren’t good enough. I always manage to screw up. I have never been ‘successful’ at something. I’m just fucking average when everyone else is around me, telling me about how great I’m doing. Little do they know that success in my future is probably not going to happen. Therefore I hate everyone for rooting me on, because even more than I hate them for this I hate that someway somehow someday I know that I […]

From the get go I’ve always said you had to be strong to commit suicide, I still do. I’ve attempted several times but still not to avail. Two of those times leaving me in hospital from overdosing, one of which for several days, and another time submitting me to a mental hospital for a week. I’m not proud of this, it makes me feel weak, however a part of me, and it’s a very small part that is glad I made it through.

Only I have the need to hurt myself again, only I don’t know how anymore, (but I’m not asking).

I grew up without a family, […]

I’ve been really bad this last week binge eating a lot and I feel so awful I gained three pounds I need to not eat at all next week to make up for it. I wont eat anyway I have exams…