i recently read a post,with a guys comment saying,he has been hopeing for cancer for years. i have a cancer that i am currently treating. i am scared of dieing of cancer as an ending. i am interested in opinions on how bad of an ending u think this would be? or if anyone would perfer this way of dieing over a planed method of suicide or death,and why?

Lately i have been feeling worse then ever before and i never thought it was possible. For one me and my mum have been arguing a lot more than usual as well as her always telling me to put more effort into what i do when i’m trying my hardest.

Second the feeling i get when i go to town of people judging me, i use to at least be able to wear shorts and not feel like i was being judged and now it’s every thing from what i wear and how i act.

And thirdly it’s my best guy friend i like him […]

Today I had just gone to my counselor and talked to her, feeling like today was a better day than i had had in a while. But once i came home, it got even worse.

just for a quick background and to get it off my chest, here’s my story.

All my life id imagine the perfect family, me and my two sisters, and my mother and father who ere deeply in love and loved each of their children deeply. When i was four, they got divorced and it has been an ongoing battle for over 14 years now. It has caused so many lies and backstabbing […]

I almost feel bipolar. One day I’m completely content with my life, and very happy to be here. The next I don’t understand why I even want to live, and that there is nothing great that I will amount to be. I feel like theres something little in my brain that I can’t understand thats causing the malfunction, like a mental block. I would never tell my parents, because from the outside, my life seems perfect. Yet I feel like I’m dying on the inside and can’t tell anyone; because why would anyone like me feel this way. No one would believe it. I almost […]

I’ve suffered depression ever since I could remember.  I grew up moving around a lot and never really having any friends.  I’d always feel terribly alone, made to be an outsider, sitting alone with a book (my only friends it seemed like) to hide my tears behind.  I was bullied often for my broken nose (which also gave me horrible migraines). I first tried to kill myself at age 7 by drowning.  I just remember feeling so broken and tired of bullying/isolation.  That wasn’t my first time to seek the solace of death.

In my teens, I tried overdosing on sleeping pills.  I wanted relief from […]

Crying is cathartic. My sister and I use to get together, listen to music and have a good sad session of crying late into the night! So, which songs or movies turn you into a weeping willow?

so i cut again… my right leg shin to thigh is covered…my left arm is cut horizontally, one long gash. They burn… i wish i could call her. but i know she dosent care. i read one of her old posts saying how much she loved me. its weird to think a friendship so deep could just vanish. she says she dosent hate me but i know she gets tired of my antics so im leaving her alone. no more calls no more texts. i need to stop bothering everyone with my shit. my only really close friend left is getting tired of my shit […]

Why did I come here? I have no intention of dying. I wear the mask of happiness day in and day out. No one knows my secret pain, and I shall keep it that way. I came here for release. A place to put down words that express the emotions I must compress, day in and day out, while I wear the mask for the sake of others who cannot bare the face behind my mask.

I do not want their pity. There is nothing they could say or do to make it better, for nothing at all is wrong. My life is perfect. I just…hurt. […]

I just have an overwhelming urge to cut….and it devastates me.

its been a while since ive been on here….i dont know anywhere where i actually belong or what to do anymore i suppose i should just write about how depressed and suicidal i am right now and hope that people gives me attention as some of my “friends” put it. Nobody knows what im going through or where im going or for that matter how much i actually despise the life i have 🙁

how can you love someone if your heart is still beating from someone else? simple you make a decision. my decision was that a mate told me to think of the person who i want more. but the person i want more i cant have so i choose the other person. he is sweet and kind and amazing boyfriend. so love drama is over. now what to do when you are loved so much but feel so empty. this morning i pushed my own sister in the wall, cried my eyes out to school, got to school felt happy but then i got angry and […]

i see you staring

my eyes full of tears

where is all my kindness                                                                        

i had all these years

i hurt you

i hurt him

i think im fat

but you think im thin.

my heart breaks

dark shardows coming through the door

my wrist slit open

blood pours on the floor

i know you love me but

my love has split in 2

the real question is do i want him

or do i want you

either way i will hurt you both

my life is full of lies

sooner or later you both will forget me

as my soul begins to die

dont cry a tear over me

dont take your own life away

i might not be here now

but we will be together again […]

Do you ever feel like all the weight of the world is on your shoulders and a simple bullet could release you of that weight?

Just today I am 100% sure I’m done with life. I gave it a chance to talk to people and make friends at my highschool. But no, I literally get pushed away from any group. Everybody doesn’t hate me, they just don’t care.

So here am I coming to the conclusion of detergent suicide.

I’ve been told a million times no one cares. I don’t need sympathy or whatever. Guess I just feel like getting this out of me.

I have been giving suicide a thought for too long now. Its just killing me that when I was in the hospital no one even cared to visit or […]

They were back tonight. The voices. The evil people. When I was in the bath. I could feel them. Their hands. Pressing down on my head, further and further under the water. Pushing down with so much force I hit my forehead on the bottom of the bath. Blood stained the water around me, obscuring my vision. I could feel myself slowly losing consciousness. I didn’t want to die by their hands. But I wasn’t getting anywhere. Fighting a losing battle. Until I finally managed to pull my head up.

Yet, now I’m not so sure that it was such a great idea. They’re tormenting me […]

There are too many things in my house I could self harm with…

∞ Razor blades ∞ Mirror ∞ Knives ∞ Paracetamol ∞ CDs ∞ Pens ∞ Sharpeners ∞ Nails ∞ Thorns ∞ Glass ∞ Keys ∞ Pins ∞ Cans ∞ China ∞ Rules ∞ Pencils ∞ Teeth ∞ Ear rings ∞ Cigarettes ∞ Lighters ∞ Hands ∞ Fingernails ∞ Plastic ∞ Batteries ∞ Sticks ∞ Heavy objects ∞ Deodorant ∞ Pencil tin ∞ Springs ∞ Sponge ∞ Oven ∞ Paper ∞ Necklace chain ∞ Watch ∞Pillow case ∞ Stinging nettle ∞ Skipping rope ∞ Ca cigarette lighter ∞ Bra under wire ∞ Clock ∞ Controllers ∞

Okay i am 15 years of age and I’m turning 16 soon.
i just want to express my feelings and why i feel like i really should not be here anymore.
i guess i just don’t feel like life is worth living.. or rather i am not worth living.
i wont give you ALL the gory details but long story short: my parents split when i was 8 or 9 months old. i lived with my father till i was 5 and i never saw him again. my father died when i was 9 and ever since i can remember my mother has been jumping […]

Like three weeks ago I ingested 15 grams of Tylenol within 24 hours. Nothing happened. I had a little gas. That’s it. Lmao. Anyone else ever try this, or know people who did?

Are most of us on here asking for too much? Some of us ask to be happy for one moment in our lives and if the world cannot provide this feeling that has evaded most of us, we ask for death but this world we live in is providing neither. Are we asking for too much? Are we seriously bad people for asking for these? I don’t ask for much but everyday its a constant reminder that my answer to all these questions will be a giant ball of nothingness, because that’s what I am.

Sin is insanity. It is the means by which the mind is driven mad, and seeks to let illusions take the place of truth. And being mad, it sees illusions where the truth should be, and where it really is. Sin gave the body eyes, for what is there the sinless would behold? What need have they of sights or sounds or touch? What would they hear or reach to grasp? What would they sense at all? To sense is not to know. And truth can be but filled with knowledge, and with nothing else.

The body is the instrument the mind made in its efforts […]