Every car looks the same,
It’s time to go.
Breathing trees,
How lovely to see,
Can I touch them?
No.
Locked in, Locked up,
Doors without keys,
Beds without sheets,
Pull on the curtain that encloses me.
Kept alive but no machines,
Three shadows is all you see,
One hall, one sound,
Screams.
We like to stay unseen.

White gate, white gate,
Under the bridge.
Keys in my hand,
Hiding behind me,
Lower me down to where no one will find me.
Bright lights, bright eyes,
The difference doesn’t seem real,
Back in my head, voices so loud,
Everything is clear again.
Screaming sounds like bells,
Instructions are yelled,
The waves are hands,
Holding you tightly.

laying in bed, all alone, crying.

Does anyone else often feel like they don’t matter? Like they’re alone in a crowd? Even amongst people who should be my friends, I feel like I don’t belong. Then again, I don’t think these people are real friends. Yesterday, I was at another party. Sitting there among a circle of people I know (people who are supposedly my friends), watching them talk and laugh about things that deep down I can’t truly relate to, I have never felt so alienated and disconnected. It was like I was an audience member watching a show I didn’t really enjoy or find all that funny.

It always seems […]

Honestly, I’m scared. I’m scared of everything because since March I have been trying to find ways to get by. I’ve used every goddamn coping skill you could think of. All of them and sure they relieve how I feel but it doesnt change it in the long run. I was stupid when I tried to die. I was supposed to jump. That was my plan initially, but I got fucking scared of being stopped, being seen, so I found an alternative. I should’ve known it wouldn’t work. I should’ve thought of what would happen afterwards. I admit since going to the hospital I enjoy […]

I don’t really talk much about my suicide attempt but when I do, I get choked up and cry. She didn’t know much about it but today, at her house she happened to be looking through my blog and read what I wrote on my day back from the hospital. I couldn’t even look at her. She held me as I cried, and she did nothing but hold me for a while. I don’t know how she does it. How she can be around me, someone so broken and torn between life and death all the time, and still manage to fucking smile. How she […]

Trying to kill myself was the best thing that could’ve happened. Because if I hadn’t tried to and if I hadn’t failed, I wouldn’t feel the urge to change how I felt and I wouldn’t have gone to Four Winds. It was tricky, I had just enough of the Nortatryptaline to go into coma but I just ended sleeping for a straight 48 hours. I then didn’t leave my house for an entire week and was drinking so much, I decided physical pain would have been the answer to everything. I cut the word help into my arm and cried myself to sleep that night. […]

I’m kinda done living. Actually I have been for awhile but I think I finally snapped. The only thing on my mind now is my death. How wonderful it’ll feel to be gone from all this pain. But see I’ve basically ruined this girl’s life and her
Birthday is coming up soon. And for her birthday I want to go away forever. My gift to her will be my death. I just don’t know if it’s the “right” thing to do? Any comments on if I should do it or not? And I’m not looking for people to tell me suicide is wrong I want […]

I have bulimia and two years ago I cut 3 little cuts on my stomach. I’m a 14 year old girl and on terms of being depressed, I’ve managed to keep my actions in check. Something change last night. I got into a fight with my best friend that I have told absolutely everything thing to and he’s been totally supportive but, he just full on changed and was against me and called everything what I did or what I think stupid.  I know that I cut 3 cuts on my stomach 2 years ago but that’s nothing compared to how badly I cut my […]

well my brother has officially snapped. whenever he dosent get his way he acts like a huge baby and throws a tantrum and of course its all my fault. he said he wished i died and i actually killed myself. awesome. its always my fault. now of course he blames me and he has a whole big pity party. i really dont want to be here. he even blamed me for him hitting me earlier. im weirdly calm even though he is yelling at my mom about me. he is like a 2 year old but it does scare me because he’s bigger and stronger […]

i cant anymore theres no where to go and nothing to do. Ive messed up so much theres no reason to stay alive. I cant redo my past and take things away they will always be here to stay.  I m hurting so badly i lost my lover over doing dumb impulsive immature things and yes i may be different but i lost something important to me thats all i care about is losing my special someone but ill never get them back nor do i deserve too. i wish i could redo my life from 5th grade up. Theres no way i will ever […]

I found someone to talk to. I found someone that was willing to listen to my problems and just be there for me. I was finally starting to feel happy. But I should have known that something bad was going to happen. That I’m just not allowed to be happy. It’s shouldn’t have hurt when they left me because I was so sad all the time. But it did hurt. It hurt more than I wish to admit.

I noticed quite a lot of people post about how they should commit suicide…and quite a lot of people try to stop them.

I have mixed feelings about this actually. I think it’s stupid you’re asking suicidal people how to kill yourself. This website isn’t here to HELP US commit suicide it’s here to PREVENT US from it.

But at the same time I understand. I mean some people are too far gone and it’s their time, and theres nothing we can do about it. Some suicidal people don’t want help and maybe you shouldn’t shove it in their faces. Some of these people have probably heard […]

My names Jillian, i’m 15 years old, and here’s my story, i decided to share the truth.
My first school ever was Green Way Elementary, the first day of school was OK, until i started showing up at school looking all gross and ugly… It’s because when i was younger i lived with my parents, but then they split up because things weren’t working out for them, i seen them fight all the time, i stayed with my dad for a bit because my mom moved away with her girlfriend, while i was staying with my dad he liked to have friends over and drink […]

Been a while

im a fighter. but sometimes the fight is impossible to win. there would be alot less pain if i just gave up but i find myself fighting until the end. i will fight for love, fight for my life, fight to win, fight to save a life, fight to start a new. but i get tired of fighting sometimes. i feel like i just want to give up and hide under my covers. i want to go into the cabinet and take all the pills and slip away. i want to snort a fat long line of heroine and cut my arms and legs, i […]

Here is my life story and why i want to kill myself.
when i was born i was dropped on my head by my crackhead mother and then because of it couldnt talk right but could still think the same according to the doctors. In my middle school years people started to make fun of me because of that and felt as if there is nothing else to do.
so luckily somebody introduced me to a little plant called weed and i could never get off of it and after a while of smoking that i got bored and started on the acid and coke. […]

So many dead bodies trailing behind me.

So many precious lives evaporating right in front of my eyes.

Another body is lying weak. It would be gone by tonight.

I dont know what to do,im crying as I tyoe this and I can bareky see the screen

How much loss can someone bear

Everything everyone is gone

Death heeps stealing them away from mh side

I dont knie what to do

I won’t say my name but this is my story :

im 18 years old and ive always been uncertain of where my life’s going to take me .i never was the smartest in school and I wished there was around it .ive struggled all through out  my high school years.Anyways I’m approaching my señor year  and my girlfriend just left me .the thing is is that  right around when I met her last year I was in a dark time .i rarely came to school until I met her .i felt as if a weight had finally been lifted off my shoulders like I saw […]

I am a 27 year old man.  I am writing this because I don’t know what else to do. I am sorry if this is extremely long but I feel as though I just have to get this out of me.  I will understand if  no one were to read this.

I often feel hopeless about everything in my life.  As a child I grew up in a small town North of a major city.  I had friends, played lots of sports but often felt like an outcast for no reason in particular.  I would often become very angry if anyone rubbed me the wrong way.  […]