I write poems everyday
Poem by Poem
Day by day
To seal my endless pain
Scars are everywhere
All they do is stare
Never once noticing me
Falling apart silently
XxOutCastxX
I fucking hate my life. So I shit around, help other people with their lives in order to forget about my fucked up life… I know that won’t change anything, but I hate my life. I loathe it. I want to give up. I want to fucking give up everything. I can’t decide nor choose anything in my life. It’s all fucking manipulated by my parents even after highschool graduation. I hate living. I hate my family, I hate everything that is me. I just want to fucking kill myself. I a fucking useless shit infested with self-hatred. The judges won’t like me. I won’t […]
i see nothing at all, no happines
When i tried to commit suicide i was serious about it. I locked my door turned my music on loud and ignored the knocks. Well i laid down my tools of trade, a bottle of vodka, to hide my shame, a razor at the wrist nothing would be missed. I.. I took a drink then grabbed my razor as i sat over a towel and just cut my thighs to hell i could barely walk after.. I […]
I can’t take the emotional pain anymore. I’ve tried so many different anti-depressants. Do I need ECT? I just want some ******** to leave this world peacefully. I’m never going to accept my sexuality. I have unwanted same-sex attraction and at the same time want a family life. I’m 42 and time is running out. What’s the point of all this? Please god intervene, save this soul from hell and let me die peacefully. Psychiatrists, psychologists, support groups, friends, family, exercise, tried everything but I’m constantly thinking about suicide. Yes, I have some things going on in my life which I appreciate, BUT THE LONELINESS […]
suicide is a seven letter word that controlled my life along side depression and anxiety that i still struggle with. im here to tell you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and you have a purpose. i felt that i had nothing else to live for until i made a list. it sounds simple but make a list of all the things you want to do and see in life and i promise you itll give you hope. read it everyday or everyday or when you feel like you dont want to be here. its small but it might help […]
Lately my mother has been trying to take me to church. I’ve tried praying and going to church but in all honesty , Religion isn’t something I’m into. It’s just been a thing that people believe in ,Nothing more. On Facebook I like a page called ” Atheist English Girl” Where she posts pictures about religion and how she doesn’t believe in. I thought some pictures were funny so I liked it. She had posted a picture today about Marilyn Manson Saying “I like the bible , I like it as a book. Just like I like Cat and The Hat” And I thought it […]
My name is John and I and 19. I have no real friends to speak of, I’ve lost interesting in the only thing that has been really keeping me going and I’ve been wishing the past few years for something to happen that would get me killed. I can’t commit suicide because my mind and body physically won’t allow me to do so. I don’t know when exactly I started feeling the way i did, but the feeling has only grown stronger over the years especially in the last few months.
I have no job, no drivers license because i can’t afford the insurance, no friends […]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C08Ini72mZw
Thats my story.. please subscribe gonna post more videos soon
Well Hi again, many of you may remember me as BrooklynBoxx.. and once again I am asking you for your guys favor. I’m 15, as my of you know. But on January 26, 2013 I met and fell in love with a 21 year old. I know many of you may find this risky, coming from my past. But he was there after every failed suicide attempted. He got me to throw away razors. And talked me out of suicide. On the 15th of July […]
I have never had this feeling before. I have never been so sad that it physically hurts me. My chest hurts and I’m having a hard time breathing. I have never felt this alone. I’m completely alone. Alone with my pain.
I haven’t had much luck with this whole suicide business so far. A couple of years ago an overdose didn’t even touch the sides. A few months back I tried the exit bag method, and didn’t even lose consciousness. We’re pretty robust creatures, it seems.
As much as I’d like to succumb to a peaceful death in bed, it looks like I’m going to have to bite the bullet and try a violent approach. I’m going to start with the official drop table, and double the recommended height. I’ll happily trade off an increased risk of decapitation for a reduced risk of strangulation.
I’m sharing this with […]
ive had a killer headache all day. even though my morning started off pretty good and ive had a low stress day i just feel like shit and dont feel good at all. it dosent help people asking me if im ok when they dont want to know the answer. dont ask me something if you dont want me to tell you the truth. you only like the happy, stoner, party side of me so dont try to get to know the real raw me no one sees. yea you used to know me but then what happened, you put me in a fucking mental […]
This can’t be right, this has to be a nightmare, a bad dream, induced by too many pieces of Halloween candy. I have to be seven years old, eight years old, tossing and turning in my bed. This cannot be my life, it shouldn’t be. I’m 14 years old and I’m a self-harmer, a ‘cutter,’ though I’d rather say I cut myself. The scars on my skin are mysteriously starting to fade, not that you’d know it. You’d take a glimpse at my unscarred arms, glance at the armband on my right wrist that never comes off. You might think for a moment that my […]
I keep trying i have taken pills with alcohol and a nice side of razors in the bath but i cant seem to die what is this I HATE IT! I HATE LIFE. I HATE BEING ALIVE. I WANT TO DIE. IVE HAD ENOUGH
does love really exist if so why does it always end and why did they invent the phrase true love because love lost it’s meaning i see old couples that have been together longer then i have been alive but isn’t that just the ability to put up with the other persons b.s. i’m only 16 so i don’t know much about love but i know enough to question it so does love exist or is it an illusion…
Im not sure what to write, should there be something to write, or is it that I’m looking for something worthy to be written. I forget that im depressed when i talk to people or when i write, maybe its habit that i hide what i feel and smack a smile onto my face. I havent done anything all summer and i feel alone, my only friends are dull razors and this freak anxiety. I cant sleep. I’m starting to feel numb again. Maybe it’s better that i feel numb, if i decide to feel anything else ill just panic. Well… im done trying to […]
Tonight is the last meeting of a Suicide Survivors group that I’ve been going to for a months. Its a group for people who have survived at least one suicide attempt in the last year. I adore the group members and hope them all the best… it breaks my heart thinking that I will be abandoning them in the following weeks; Â I believe its better to disapear then to make any announcement that I will be following through with my exit plan. It fills me with sadness to imagine any of the other members doing what I will be doing to myself… I baked cupcakes […]
Sometimes I physically cannot talk, I build up words into something huge in my mind and I try to speak but just can’t at times. This usually happens when someone higher up in the social hierarchy of my school greets me, just a simple ‘hello’ pulls me into this panic and I try to reply and I open my mouth and I feel myself sweating and no sound comes out at all, even though the ‘hi’ is on the tip of my tongue and I know that it won’t matter in just a short while. It scares me because it’s rude not to smile and […]
All the time I see these extravagant programs for Veterans with PTSD, or any other ailment they might have…
What about regular people…there are more non-militants in America that suffer from mental illnesses. About 1 in 3 to 1 in 4 adults suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder or disease in a given year. This amounts to about 70-80 million people out there alone and helpless. According to records, about 8% of American citizens will develop PTSD sometime during their lives. In 2005, 1.77 million American males committed suicide. 450,000 American females committed suicide.
There is little to no help for people in this situation, and I […]