http://youtu.be/r7PndvLncZE
You know, until my mom committed suicide in ’81.

Freudian slip and funny disclaimer.

Hi I’m a 13 y/o girl from Sweden that at the moment feel like shit.. My whole life has been hard and so on but now I just want to die. My brother is the main problem, he hits me sometimes but not hard or anything, it the words he says. My whole life he’s been there to tell me that i will fail, I’m nothing, useless. Now those words are the truth in my eyes. He scares the living hell out of me, when he gets mad (and that is pretty much every day) I usually run to the bathroom. Then I will sit […]

Many of us here have contemplated oblivion. It’s very difficult to for me to imagine oblivion.

Still I accept that I’ll probably be spending SOME time in oblivion, even though I don’t know exactly what oblivion means. This begs the question: will I “know” that I’m dead?

Although I have 0% confidence in my answer, the only answer that comes to mind (for myself) is this: “I don’t think so.”

I’m so positive, always smiling, laughing, telling people what they want to hear, trying to make them happy but sometimes when I’m alone, I just can’t control myself. I fight myself, knowing I will loose. I just, I don’t know, I don’t know how to explain. People out there, having fun, couples, or friend groups, going out everyday, their parents let them go out. But they are always wanting for more, i don’t understand. Is it fair? I love living and life but sometimes it’s seems so dark I can’t even find the light switch.  Ofcourse I feel so blessed for all of these, so […]

welcome to the world kid,you have about 13 years to be happy,to be you,to be like nietzche said a superman,dont care about religión,responsability,education,prejuices,tabus,even sex.in this period you are you in your pure state,not influenced by society.when this period ends your mind starts to change,your feelings are new you will have to go to school,study like a damn nerd,obey the rules.now you are not you anymore,you are influenced by the people that surrounds you,their ideas,their fears.your doors are closing slowly.that pure kid that you where is dying.religion enters your life even if you dont like it at all.you have been raised to be a responsable,calm and […]

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Maybe Tomorrow By Yuki Kaijura

A particular song I remember hearing one day while feeling depressed and suicidal.

made me calm down a bit, and think maybe ill wait and see what may happen first before leaving…

what have you taken away?
a fog of pain as memories darken.
once we experienced heaven,
childlike and open,
but your love perished.
a horrific pool of hatred –
thoughts follow night, follow darkness,
love bled dry.
in a storm of tears,

i still love you.

Today I told myself every thing’s okay, and that if I don’t think about the future it will stay that way longer. Why do I give myself false hope. Why am I still trying. I know hope is lost so why am I faking. You know what one of the worst feelings is? The feeling that someone could be dead or someone could die and it’s all your fault. When people say I’m going to kill myself because of you. That’s not okay. I was in a relationship where several times the other person said goodbye and that they were not going to be alive […]

Have you ever just wanted to die ?

like you have a good life and everything but sometime you feel like it doesnt matter ?

like you just not wanted and that no one needs you in there life ….

well welcome to my world

Death i await you just like you await the living </3

I wrote a poem a while back and and didn’t think much of it. I always knew I had a darker side, I just didn’t realize how depressed I was. It would be great to die this way, I hope someone remembers it.

THE LEDGE
look over the edge, what do you see?
The black of the street? Lights from the cars?
If you look up do you see stars?
Is the world black or completely clear?
Would they hear if you screamed from up here?
Or would they even care?
Look over the edge, what do you see?
Down below is your destiny, so […]

I never thought I would be here now. I recently turned eighteen and have been thinking about ending things lately.

You see, a few months ago I made a mistake of driving my car after working a double at work while under the influence of weed. I fell asleep at the wheel, crashed into a tree, and totaled my car. I am now in the process of receiving a DUI, and trying to get into the ARD program. ARD is a program that will remove a DUI from your record, and allow you avoid jail time, this is for first time offenders only.

But I just feel like if […]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qh_gHAo-niQ

She stood in the cold rain, watching the people pass, remembering… She remembered him, remembered when he was more; when he was something human. She remembered the sun on their faces, when they loved each other, and thought of how they could have been, the family they could have had… They could have had everything… And as her eyes closed on the cruel world, the rain turned warm and thick from her eyes. The world cried for her, for her and for the broken heart of the sea…

Not a day that went by without him thinking about her; her beautiful face, charming laugh, and radiant […]

Hello, all

I feel like my mind is falling apart. I can’t remember anything and I have no sense of self. Nothing matters and nothing makes me happy.

However, I really do want to enjoy my life. I just want to be someone else.

I want to erase my current mind and start over again.

I also think that I might have an undiagnosed mental illness because of my rapidly-shifting moods, negative internal voices, and suicidal obsessions.

I just don’t want to take medication and go even more insane.

Can anyone else relate?

You see “people”,
it does not get better. when you cut yourself or kill yourself, it will never get better. Why is it when that when we lose someone we love, we have to go with them. Oh yeah, i know why, it’s because this world is fucked up and people don’t care about what we suffer from. the world hurts everyone emotionally, we just have the scars to prove it… and it just feels so damn good… i want to kill myself a lot more than anybody. i knew this girl from when we were little, we grew up together. we were destined to […]

I look back over my shoulder

All I see is a past not worth remembering

And in my heart I know that I’ll never escape

The fear of my body growing colder

I see myself in all my pain

Hunched over the bathtub drain with

My blood pouring like rain

Down my arm to the sewer with all those who felt the same

And today I fight to keep at bay

The thought that demand I slay

Myself and those around who dared spout the lie that they cared

And end this life I hate today

So simple the old ways

To give in to hate and relate to life in the most brutal of ways

To berate myself […]

(not mine, thought I’d share it)

Go to sleep and close your eyes
Dream of broken butterflies
That tore their wing against a thorn
You know the pain that they have born

Hush a bye baby, you’re almost dead
You don’t have a pulse, your pillow is red
Your family hates you, your friends let you bleed
So sleep tight with a knife ‘cause it’s all that you need
Rock a bye baby broken and scarred
You didn’t know that life would be this hard
So time to end the pain that you hid so well
And down will […]

Brady’s scared to drown to death.

Sidney’s scared to burn to death.

I’m just scared to keep living like this,

I know I’ll be the one to cause my own death.