I feel empty and insecure. There are no emotions inside of me except for self hatred. I burn bridges and I break hearts because I just don’t care about anything, not even me.

Sorry I just need to vent…

I’d just like to start off with…like most people here…my life sucks…and I just really want someone to read this and care…because no one else does…

I think my life started going downhill at the young age of 5…when I started school…

School is Hell for me

I didn’t have many friends..ever..I got ignored…and bullied even then…it got worse every year…and still does. I still get bullied often and the teachers and staff at my school don’t care about us students at all. They just sent us to the school counselor or something which never helps…if someone doesn’t like you in my school, […]

barbiturates oh barbiturates how i wish i I had the barbs, barbs and a few bottles of wine to die in my sleep to experience the older brother of sleep suicide is forever and that’s just the way I want it  life is a pain death is the cure theirs nothing  bad about death just what comes before it which is the  fear of it  we should all have a stoic death

“Nothing matters to us in this age to escape it with all speed”- Tertullian

   

i want to go to god’s garden if the gate is locked I will go through the back door

“But paradise is locked and bolted….
We must make a journey around the world to see if a back door has perhaps been left open.” – Heinrich Von Kleist

“Death there’s nothing bad about it at all except the thing that comes before it—the fear of it.”- Seneca

“Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one’s head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no to-morrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace.” – […]

I don’t know what the fuck to do!!!! i’m so stressed out and i wanna kill myself so badly. But i can’t decide how… a week ago i took 57 advil and stopped because it made me feel sick and i couldn’t swallow anymore… today i went and stood on the whitemud for a good 2 hours… stepped out and the car braked really fast and hit me but not enough to do any damage.. i just want out!! i’m 15 any ideas? please i just wanna be gone

Well,I never believed I would say that but….My dad hitted me and i was calm. Now someone said something a little bad about me. And I want to kill myself. GOD,i think we depend so much on others opinions,that anythin bad kills us;o 🙁

I ask the question why?  Why we want to take the only thing what has given to up by our parents? Like i have said in my other posts, i tried to kill myself 3 times, and every time it got worse, until i nearly died. I took the pills and tried to hang myself,  and it was the best  choice for me at that time.  I wanted to die so bad, a fantasised about it and it was only precious thing for me. I just loved the idea to die. I thought that i am just a burden to everyone and my time is to leave […]

Was this all just a dream…

Or was it just a nightmare…?
Was everything a lie…?
Cuz if feels like none of it existed
I remembered and cherished everything
I did this for us
I did this for you

After that first class trip, years we were attached to each other. Just wanted you by my side, all those times when we were apart. You were nothing but a heartache to my broken; dead soul. If only you could understand. I protected you, like we were supposed to be together. I only said the truth about you. I had always imagined you by my side… forever.

I remembered […]

so for while now ive been stuggling with on going with depression. for a couple of years now the over whelming feelings have come and gone. the feelings of useless ness, worthless, hopeless, never
meeting up to peoples expectations. I am out of high school now and am enrolled in college. my first 2 years of high school were miserable. classes were kicking my butt no matter what i’d do to try and get my grade up. my relationship at the time hurt more than helped. it was mostly me helping her with her problems for 2 years only for her to revert herself back […]

The “fake happiness” is gone, but I’ve had more numbness than despair lately. I still like to think about and plan my death, but the urge to act on it isn’t there, more often than not. Progress? Maybe. A friend who needed a place to stay is crashing on my couch, and probably will be for the next few months if not the rest of the year. I don’t like the idea of killing myself while someone lives with me. Would rather be alone. Then again, at least there’d be someone there to feed the cats.

The knowledge that I’ll never get married or have kids […]

should i be unplugged  by co poisoning or plastic bag and sleeping pill

So … I haven’t told anyone about my suicide thoughts but I can really just say I am exhausted of life. Not that I don’t appreciate it, I just want to be once something or someone I have planned. I believe in the afterlife and after reading the book “many lives, many masters” my fear and point of view of the afterlife or what is happening after the dead. I did research and I found out and it’s what that book is delivering: you can choose who and what you want to be in your next life, life lesson you want to learn and a […]

I decided that I like Trevor. But then, last night, I had a dream. A dream that Dawson was in. Dawson is one of my best friends. He’s also a guy. And I think I like him… But I don’t know. It’d be a little bit weird because he’s shorter than I am… And yet he’s older than me…. And every time I think about it, I feel like I would be dating my brother if I dated him. Okay, so I’m going to make a complete list of the guys that I like or have ever liked this year. (Prepare for a lot. I […]

my family all hate me and i am so glad for that now I can kill myself and not feel guilty about it

my poem – last refuge

when i see the moon i see god in the moon and god tells me to come to were he is to come to this last refuge the final frontier the last fortress where man can hold out against the storm indefinitely. I see god he says I will give you love, warm, food , and shelter from this cold world but every day i don’t go where god is  and every day i regret my choice to not […]

Ever since i was younger i was bullyed they all said that im useless, stupid, i’ll never find someone to be with etc. and now i beleave it all i ahve tryed to kill myself a couple times be for and i just dont want to be alive anymore im sick of everything i go throught, i have no friends that like to hang out or they just use me for stuff, my mom and my step dad have kicked me out my dad is the only in my family that will even talk to me and im tired of it ALL i just want to […]

I’m finally starting to feel tired enough to where I can go to sleep after not being able to sleep at all last night, I went back to school today and to be honest I’m starting to like it less and less being there gives me a feeling of unease, I’m applying to the performing arts school I dropped out of last school year I really hope I can get in.  I just want to be great :beautiful,smart,talented I know it sounds superficial but I feel like that’s what would make me feel good about myself. It’s 5 am one hour to sleep before school […]

i just want to say found this site, cant believe what i see but every body needs a friend to talk to
and i hope ye all have some one you can try turn to..

…xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I am 37 years old and have accomplished nothing in my life. I am a mechanic by trade but just can’t seem to find any real success at anything. Since ’94 I have had nothing but bad luck and drama in my life. The only reason I am still breathing is because of my daughter, it wouldn’t be fair to leave her fatherless because my life is shit, but recently things have gotten to the point where I told my wife to take out a life insurance policy on me. I had planned to put myself in a situation where a particular person would kill […]

Advantage is particularly catchy, full black leather to complement golden brass pieces, the GG logo. gucci shop Hardware form beautiful, pale gold with polished, cherry skin hand shadow, so it would show emission. Are you able to use it? 1350 yuan price tag, sneezing, handbag (with little talent) of the brand.

it is not so bad classic, functional leather bag popular because it might be. Diamante canvas have been used in the 1950s by Gucci creative director Frida Giannini widely, it is to explore the museums and accessories that are used in early spring 2010 season. I will be quite orange version (orange-brown than […]

Someone please tell me if i should just end this all…. i’m fucked up and i’m also done with myself. i’m going to kill myself