A Wish

I relate to the feeling of being exhausted and the desire to become that “something more” I imagine I could be or would like to be, falling into the trap of mistaking my imagining as planning. In hind sight I understand why this unskillful desire to become that something is exhausting.

I have read about the belief that before we are born we choose the life we will have in order to experience that life and the lessons learned from that experience.

With this belief system you seem to be forgetting that In planning for your next go around, you have also planned this go around.

The question would then be not what you wish to experience in your next life but why it is you wanted to experience what you are experiencing now in this one. What is it you wanted to learn?

I can’t help wonder if your focus on what you don’t have, and what you would like to be in some future is at root of your exhaustion.

That the exhaustion may be indication that your missing the mark of what you wished to learn in this life (I am assuming here that if you’re on the right track of learning and experiencing what you planed to learn before you were born that there would be a sense of peace with yourself.)

In this case the opposite experience, living in the past and future, would then be a sign post of where you need to go. That only the present moment can be lived. Your task then in this life would be to learn how to do that.