I didnt do it.

Didnt jump.

I was stopped.

Why ?? Why people think they can force others to live?That they can decide whether im going to  live or not?I wanted to jump.Backwards.Just to let myself.But no.And just when i got courage to finally do that,there comes them to tell me that i have to live and that it will get better.It wont!I dont know what to do any more.

Umm..Hi! Im Olya..And Im 15..Im from Greece..And i have commited suicide since I was 13…I dont know why Im really writing this…But…Im really awful…I dont have much friends -the girl who uses to be my best friend left me without a reason…She was everything to me…I loved her more than my parents though… 2 months later our common friends told me that she left me cause they learned im a whore,and cause i had had sex…which is not true….nevermind…my parents knew that i have been cuttin’ for so long,i have been to a doctor also,but didnt help…I cutted yesterday also,they saw the scars and got […]

Sitting there alone, on a bitterly cold night. The icy air, causing little bumps on the back of her neck. She sat there, smoking the real world away. Falling further and further from reality. Each breathe filled with smoke. But her mind numbing. Forgetting. Falling. Each exhale of smoke dancing through the air. Swirling and twirling til it disappeared.

Wow. Typing the words “I want to kill myself” into google made me feel both desperate and immature all at once. But stumbling upon this page has helped so much in the tiny amount of time I’ve been reading. I feel like a loser because I should be able to reach out to someone other than the Internet…yet I am alone in my life full of friends and family who love me.  It’s a mesh between not wanting to worry them and getting the old “you’re hormonal” when I say that I’m depressed. I have had these issues as far back as I can remember. […]

Put some white roses on my casket.

Make my grave shallow so I can feel the rain.

And burn all my things. Especially my poetry.

This is not how I want to be remembered.

I just took 8 pills of ibuprofen. Process of illumination – stage one.

It’s a struggle having to hide my depression for fear of being judged. I feel like most people wouldn’t be able to understand depression which is understandable because how can you understand what you haven’t gone through? but I feel that because I feel as though I’m going to be judged by other people I’ve become very closed-off and that has played a part in some of my problems today like why I don’t like meeting people, why I don’t trust people, why I have anxiety and self-esteem issues,etc. . It really hurts me that I feel like I can’t be open about my depression […]

I had a dream last night.

Gym class.

We get weighed every few months.

I had anorexia last year.

I’m okay now.

But my dream…

I stepped on the scale..

90…

110..

150..

300…

401…..

ERROR ….

Then I woke up.

I’m so afraid to eat anything now.

Last time I stepped on a scale I was 106

That was August …

What the hell am I goiing to do next time I have eye surgery? What am I going to do when I’m badgered by my grandparents just because they care very little about anyone but themselves? I hate them to the point of murder. I nearly got locked away the other week because of that shit. Maybe I should go hang in their place just to fucking scare them, but unfortunately I won’t be coming back to witness their destruction from grieving over me.

But then I remember the fact that I have people who actually care about me. I guess I can get them to […]

today is the day i pour my heart out to a man..

i know he does not love me.. and possibly might even hate me..

but for me to go on with my life i have to tell him.

i have had thoughts about just killing myself in front of him to get some type of emotion from him but i know it wont work..

he is heartless, and after today i will be too…

I did it, i got bullied and let my anger out but i didn’t cut, as everyone gets bullies but Everytime i usually do and cut, i faced it, i talk to more people and tell them my story :), i feel so open for once thankyou everyone on here for all your wonderful advise ! <3 xo

Seriously I listen to this and wanna stay alive! Dunno why… Just makes sense with how I’m feeling really.

I try to hide my insecurities, my hopelessness. I don’t know how to release them all. I hide my depression. I mean, I guess there are signs. But I’m pretty sure I’ve hid all signs of ever thinking about suicide. I cut, it will definitely show. So it would be very small. I’d hurt myself. But I bruise easily. There’s only so much you can attribute to clumsiness.  I can hide little bruises, little things, but never anything big.

I like to project myself as a sunny person, so no one must know how screwed I am. My disposition is “sunny”. I don’t talk much, just […]

Im weak,weak person,i cant do nothing right!Im just depressed all of the time and yet i cant do it.All i see is darkness.I started to get this numb feeling too.I dont care if i wake up tomorrow.I dont care if i die today.It will be much better if i do die,but im not that lucky.I stopped trying.I just want to stop existing.Everything was too painful.But then i got numb.I dont know whats better.Im sorry for this stupid post,but i had to let it out,i guess.

My friend got banned for posting a link uñder the name bitter Max. he won’t do it again but really needs this place. both him and I would be really grateful if u unbanned his account.

I have been struggling almost all my life since my dad passed away since 1999. I never really had much opportunity to make something of myself. I am now in school for nursing but also I am jobless. I am constantly looking for a job but to no avail. I really have been praying for God to show me mercy by allowing me to play and win the lottery. If care is not taken I am about to be homeless. I sometimes think of committing suicide but really I am scared to attempt it. I really need financial […]

when you are REALLY tired, you always want the easy way out, its like listening to a scratched record over and over again when someone who thinks they know really doesnt know, and they try to preach to you. i remembered my mentally handicapped brother god rest his soul being tied to a radiator in the bathroom with a belt while my 22 yr old mother ran the street and  left us, i remember being locked in a room for days with a skeleton key without food or water and being BEAT for sneaking out trying to find something to eat. i remember there being nothing in […]

I’m unhappy, I haven’t been diagnosed with depression, but I find that I’m easily depressed. The only moment of repose I feel is either when I’m asleep, (due to the fact that I do not dream, it’s just blackness and my worries fade away… until I wake up and find them again) and when I’m with my girlfriend (one of the few reasons I feel I can continue).) I get this uncomfortable, heavy feeling in my chest a lot when I’m sad and it makes me want to tear my heart out. I often am discouraged due to my lousy fast food job, my lack […]

I am 17 years of age.
Female to be exact
Life is really tough
I have tried oh so many times
To fit in this life
Suffocated is what i feel
and LOVE is what i need