Darkness… thats all I see. It swirls around me growing and growing. It twist on itself like a dark flaming torrent. It gets bigger and bigger. All I can see is this abomination of a thing all around me. I am horrified. “what the hell is this!” I scream. Thats when I hear the laugh, and as soon as I hear it I realize something. The darkness is… my soul. Its whats left of what I used to be. It has rotted inside of me. It has grown like my rage, frustration, and deppression. Then I start to laugh with it. I laugh and laugh. My laugh […]

Im 20 and I live in one of the best cities in the US, nyc. I should been out enjoying life having fun but I cant… This darkness that hides within me wont allow me it has a hold on me and its geting stronger. I fear myself smh. Im surrounded by people but noone understands me noone loves me or care for me.. But why should they smh im crazy weird and miserable, well thats what they say. But I dont wanna be that I dont wanna be broken lonely and suicidal. I wanna be happy and free. I wanna have friends and live […]

All of these fools around me,

who think the world is just dandy,

don’t know the hell,

people like us go through.

We are the ones,

who are constantly judged,

by the ones who think themselves perfect,

but are really just the same as us.

The only difference between us and them,

is that we are brave enough to show it,

while they sit their and throw a fit.

Quote: Who is the bigger fool? The child afraid of the dark, or the man afraid of the light?

By: Greed

So far I’ve posted story’s of love and death. Here’s just one more about love.

So for the longest time I was in love with this boy, if you’ve seen my other stories this is before Zach, but his name was Noah.

I know for sure, he won’t be reading this, or at least know who I am so it’s safe to use his name. But anyway on topic, Noah was what every girl wanted he was cute, taller than me, a good kisser, popular, athletic, captain of the football team, a slight accent, and a total gentlemen. He was just amazing. I fell for him, hard.

And […]

I have a story – we all do I suppose.  I started this post with the intention of writing a bit of it – to explain the events in my life that led me to this site.  I tried, but; as soon as I started; I just lost the will to go further.  So much has happened; it seems overwhelming to try to explain it.  And why try?  What do I have to gain by posting a generic sob story on an internet thread?  It won’t make me like myself any more.  It won’t make my life any more worthwhile.  It won’t make my parents […]

There is a man, clad in black
Who follows me around
Wherever I go
He is feared by many
But not by me—not usually
He used to follow me from a distance
Teasing me, staying just out of sight
But now, whenever I turn my head
I see him looking over my shoulder
Always there, a silent companion,
A guardian, I pray
My dear silent companion
Bold and unafraid
I cannot seem to shake him
No matter where I hide or turn
But I want him to stay;
Without him I’m afraid

I hate him when I lie awake
And he wiggles […]

i guess I’ve had a good life, my family isn’t rich, but i feel alone. all my pets never lasted, most of my friends i never saw more than once. My parents, and one of my sisters, yell at me constantly, and i just feel like nobody cares. im bad at school, and at sports, and the only thing im even sort of good at is video games. i guess i just want a friend.

I go on this site, but none of my stories compare with the majority of posts here. I made a poorly planned attempt, I wish I had gone through with it, et cetera, but it makes me wonder, because there’s also that feeling of guilt when I am on here: What if someone kills themselves and I didn’t reply in time? What if I didn’t even try? I guess that’s the extremely selfish reason why I try to convince people not to kill themselves: I would feel too bad.  Does that make me a bad person, and shouldI just hold that feeling in?

For the record, though, I lurk […]

This is totally my luck.  I join this site, and my picture looks like a penis.  Great.  Nothing like giving a victim of sexual abuse a picture of a penis.

Does anyone know how to change the picture?

I don’t want to die, but I don’t want to live either.

Maybe that’s not entirely true, sometimes I’d really like to die. Like the time I took twenty pills and stared up at the ceiling waiting for it all to be over. But something always pulls me back. Ten minutes into it, my little brother came in to comfort me. I had been upset after my mom had another one of her episodes and lashed out at me. He told me that she didn’t mean it and that he would be there for me. It was in that moment that I didn’t want to die […]

I’m 13 years old, turning 14 in March 13. I’m here again. Alone. I’ve been sexually abused by two family members and physically abused by almost every single person in my family. I’ve been beaten with objects. I can still taste the blood inside my mouth when it got busted and bruised. I’m insecure. I have cuts all over my legs and arms. And I have P.E too, we’re forced to wear shorts, I have to run everyday in the lockers and change as fast as possible making sure no one is able to see. I keep my razor inside my phone case, just in […]

I tried to kill myself a few months ago, and that’s not what worries me. What worries me is that I don’t think it was a legitimate suicide attempt. I think I knew those pills weren’t going to kill me. I’m too smart and manipulative for that. I think I deliberately hurt people for attention. Being alone and depressed and addicted to Tumblr, I didn’t know anything else I could do. Now I’ve lost any online friends that I once had and I’m going to explode from the bottled up emotions. I need to talk, I need to talk, I need to talk, but I […]

its over for me , it drained me , killed me of emotions , all those crimes , all the terrible things i did , the way i live my life i dont want it anymore , and now , what do i do , only god can help me if he is there and can hear me ,
i am dead inside , there is nothing left no more , i cry in my room at times , screaming as loud as i can , and yet , no one hears me , and no one sees me , its funny , i make […]

I don’t want to go back to work. I want to quit and just lock up in my room, hide under the bed, never open up for anybody. Tell everyone I’m dead because I am, I am, I am!

My mother keeps getting mad because I have turned into this apathetic stranger who won’t talk to her, won’t even say a single word in the house. But inside my head, I am as noisy as a train without a fucking destination.

And I can’t stop thinking about death. Even the smell of rain reminds me of it. We’re all dying, people. We’re all fucking dying. Tell me […]

There is only one person who’s been successful at making me truly happy. He’s my best friend, and possibly the guy I’d like to end up with in the future. It sounds stupid, and I’ve never been one to support love… especially in high school, but I believe this may be as close as it gets. I’m not saying that I’m in love with him exactly… but I love him in the sense that I appreciate him greatly and would likely die for him if it came down to it. We do everything together, as much as possible. Somehow with him, I’m happier. Keep in […]

Well, this is my first time posting on something like this. I’m not exactly sure how to start, but here goes nothing.

Hi there. I’m sixteen years old and I should be happy. I have a decent family, a decent home, a wonderful school, and a few close friends. I come from a long line of women who have a chemical imbalance which causes depression. Low levels of serotonin influence my moods negatively, according to the doctor. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this, it’s actually quite common in women/teenage girls. In my opinion? It’s just another excuse to drug us and take our […]

first i want born. Then i started to grow. My parents spilt up before i was born. But my mother got remarried so i had always thought this man was my father until i was about 8 yrs old. Then i finally got to meet my real father. Little did i know my mother had gotten into some pretty hardcore drugs with the man i used to call my father. Finally they got dovorced that’s her 2nd divorce btw and she went completely crazy and shaved her head. me and my 2 sisters stayed with my grandmother while my mother went crazy i can still […]

All I have ever wanted is to be stunningly beautiful. Like Rita Hayworth or Marilyn Monroe. I know that’s terribly shallow, but honestly, I don’t really care. The only reason I have yet to attempt suicide for a third time in two months is because I want to wait until I achieve this goal. And then, I will try again. Because then, at least in my pathetic life I will have achieved something.

I realize that this is a repeat of last evening. I apologize for bothering everyone all over again. I’m so sorry to bother you all again. Please forgive me… I want to die, but I don’t want anyone to care. I want them to rejoice with me, and celebrate my life, not mourn my death. I want them to love me for who I was, not who I have become. I am a nasty, bitter, selfish little *****. I hate myself. And so do you, deep down. You don’t know me, but somewhere in you too bleeding hearts, you harbor a nasty disgust for me. […]

This morning I looked outside and all I saw was snow. You may think: “Is that special?? O.o” Well, I can tell you: yes, it is. Because in The Netherlands we don’t really have severe winters or often snow. So when there is snow, it’s special. Especially when it’s like 6 inches, like today. I had to go to my part-time therapy (from 9 am till 3 pm every monday till friday) and luckily my father brought me. There was like more than 1000 kilometers of traffic jam, a new record! (on a normal tuesday in the morning it’s around 300 kilometers) and we also […]