its an illusion. we will never have it.
I’m really pathetic when you think about it. As far as misfortune goes, in circumstance, environment, opportunity, I probably have the closest thing to a perfect life anyone can think of. Certainly I’m better off than all my friends. I have two married parents who are loving and intelligent, we are a middle class family-we make enough to be comfortable, I’ve never had anyone close to me die-not even my dog. I have plenty of friends. I’ve never been abused, neglected, never gone hungry, without clothing or heat. I am in the top .02% of my class in school. I got a job at a […]
I’m so finished. I hate everything here. I hate living. I hate the people. I know this shit is supposed to get better, and it’s hormones or whatever but I can’t do it. I’m trying to so hard, but I can’t. I’m in a battle and I’m losing. Everything hurts and I don’t know why. I don’t even know where to begin to fix it. Nothing’s changing. The person that I talked to about this is so fed up with me. I can’t. I cannot talk to anyone. No one wants to hear it. I hurt people and I need to stop. I know there […]
Gay. Freak. Weirdo. Im afraid to go out in public now, because i can see and hear everyone laughing at me, calling me names. Im used to this, but before i had friends. I have no friends now. My friends dont think about me anymore since i moved schools, they have new, better, cooler friends to hang out with now. But i have no friends at my new school either. Starting from my first day there, they started judging me. They decided that apparently i was ‘gay’. I have no idea where they got this from, but people just in public seem to think the […]
Worried that if I tell him how I really feel he’ll commit me again. Not that he’s ever committed me before, but he came really close once. I spent a couple weeks in a hospital end of last year. I think some people at work figured it out, but only my manager seriously questioned me. I don’t trust her, so I only told HR what I needed to and nothing more. Definitely not the attempt.
So, for work’s sake at the very least, I want to stay out, even though I think I hate my job. Although, I’m not entirely sure it’s my job I hate. […]
I guess I’m just your entertainment
Cuz my posts tend to rhyme
So for today’s show, I’ll dive to the pavement
And blow my brains out at the same time
‘Wow Nick, nice poem’
Is that all you’ve got to say?
No ‘Go out there and show ’em’
Just ‘I could read this all day’
Well golly sir, thank you!
Your compliment just changed my mind
I was gonna hang myself, but thanks to you
IÂ think I’ll be just fine
‘Well you don’t have to be a jerk
We were just being nice’
Sorry, but it didn’t work
And can I give you some advice?
Just because somebody is expressive
In a […]
This sucks. You love someone so much and they just hurt you, and you forgive them, and they do it again, so you forgive them and it happens again! Why do I have to be such a hopeless romantic. I wish I was one of those strong woman who don’t believe in love. Who can be on there own. But I am so damn needy. I can’t even sleep alone. I’m pathetic.
I like drinking coffee alone, and reading alone.
I like riding the bus alone, and walking home alone.
I like eating alone, and listening to music alone.
It gives me time to think, and set my mind free.
But when I see a mother with her child;
A girl with her lover;
Or best friends with their laughter;
I realize that even though I like being alone,
I don’t fancy being lonely.
im listening to Harder Than You Know by Escape The Fate over and over
you can obviously know what happened
yes, i broke up with my boyfriend last night.
it’s no big deal, btw.
but why is it really hard to get through things we’ve been through
the memories are just TOO MUCH
and also the promises
we made promises
but he broke it
when i asked,
‘so what’s the meaning of those promises? those things we’ve done?’
GUESS WHAT HE SAID.
‘no meaning.’
hahahahahaha
im done with those shits
he was the first i had sex with
i thought, he’d be the only one.
naive, eh? whatever.
im getting tired.
tell me he’s not worth it.
tell me he doesnt deserve my love
tell me he […]
What you guys think about me, each other, and this site. Care to share?
– I am aware I’m probably just giving the people what they want by doing this, but oh we’ll.
I mention a few people in my post here but I talked to a lot more people and I have a lot more people that I hold admiration for. I also wrote this a while ago and it’s incomplete, but I think it serves as a basic goodbye. Anyone I email then I will email. I have to go away from this website now forever or for a long time, and if I return it’ll probably be under a similar username. There are problems and stress […]
Just tired and annoyed. Â Getting sick of shit
Whatever it is your thinking about me is probably true
Eenie meeine minine moe
to a better place i go
with a slash to my wrist
and the blood down the drain
Five more seconds will end the
pain.
They Found Out. They Found I Cut Myself. They Found Out I Was Going To Kill Myself. Today During School A Police Man And These Two Ambulance Guys Took Me Away. My Mom Found Out. I’m A Disgrace Now. Now I Am On Suicide Watch And Have To Have Therapy. My Life Now Just Ended..
So I probably should have posted before I commented on someone else’s post as I have wrote something that long It’s still awaiting moderation… Oops.
Seeing as I’m not suicidal today (today being the operative word) I thought I would register and tell you a bit about myself first. I’m 19, live in the UK and hate myself. I was bullied for 11 years and developed low self esteem. The bulling became severe 5 years ago and I developed anxiety – I couldn’t leave the house, I would have to get ready to get ready to go out. I would panic at the thought of meeting […]
If I’m online on here, I’ll message you back quickly.
scarsonherwrists@live.com
Some music:
CAUTION: MAY BE A TRIGGER.
(Play the song and read my story)Â 7 Pounds – Ennio Morricone – The Crisis
The snow falls
quietly,
slowly.
I wish you were here to see it.
Pure white,
soft
like cotton balls.
I drag my feet through it,
trace your name in it.
God, I miss you.
Maybe you’ll see it from here,
where I am so small?
The breeze catches the back of my neck.
Is that you?
breathing?
Telling me
You’re okay?
Do you miss me?
My hands are cold
like death.
like yours
When I held it for that last time.
Are you happy?
My tears freeze halfway down my face
Shivering,
I wonder,
Is this a good enough
goodbye?
7 Pounds – Ennio Morricone – The Crisis
I’m in a lot of pain. I’m very tired and confused. I’m not looking forward to tomorrow.