I want to put my whole like life story on here, but I don’t think anyone would care. There are so many things I have never shared with anyone, and I want to get them out. I don’t think anybody would listen though.

Nobody wants to talk to me.
Everyone acts like I don’t exist.
I feel so lost.
I hate my life.
I just want to end it all.

so this weekend I’m at my dads for Christmas. i love my dad but i don’t really love the new family. my 7 year old stepsister has got to be the most annoying person i have ever met. last night she cried because no one would tuck her into bed. today she cried because i wouldn’t give a fucking cupcake at 10:30 at night. and my mom asked us to come to this church thing. i went and i went to go talk to my friends. then i get yelled at later for ‘deserting them.’ if they wanted me to sit with them they should […]

Alright guys I’ve picked out my date Jan fourth, I can finally just slip away I unfortunately had to set it further off then I would have liked but I didn’t want to inconvenience my family or make their holidays worse but I’m pretty stoked I’m gona go pick some razors up and grab a few bottles of hard liquer while I visit family in Michigan. I never have to See the age of 20 now which I also good news anyways wish me luck or something ehh but you guys probably got to put up with me for a bit longer again I wish […]

free me. save me. release me from the cell. you say if i die i will go to hell. well life is a *****, so i dont give a shit i’d prefer to see where the demons dwell. i dont want to hear it. dont want to hear you plead. “your life is to precious, just listen to me!” i’ve listened before and it turned out as lies, your words are just tricks put in disguise. so goodbye ill die and never come back. seeing your faces will surely make me laugh.

I want to end my life. I see no other way of resolving my problems. I’m a burden to my partner and he no longer loves me, he no longer wants to see me, or even discuss anything with me about anything.

I want this to be with minimum impact to my children (10, 8, 7 yrs old). I want to get my finances in order and get my legal affairs sorted and I want to plan my own funeral. How do I do this the most efficient way?

I dont want it to be a shock either, is there anything that can make me ill and […]

I think i may have fully planned out my suicide if i ever try to kill myself.. ill post it all later.. too tired now, but will tommorow

Not gonna make this Long cause well who wants to read a long boring sob story?exactly

UPDATE , okay well yea.i wasnt taking into account that my bodys immune system would go to shit like it is but yea im in the middle of some bullshit virus thing , dying  in thefreezing  cold hungry Oh yeah not to mention I started like tripping almost har to explain I guess?  Hell fucking no, thanks .’its safe to Say I failed. But I will be back and I will try again believe that lol

P.s. I truly with all my heart hoped it would work,lately my laugh has been […]

Didnt get a deskjob in the back where nobody sees me because of my appearences. (I am overqualified), I told my parents I didn’t want the job and they said I’m blablabla…

I know that alot of people have been through alot more then i’ve probably been through,(i’m only 13 of course). Here a undetailed story of my life.

I’ve been a cranky kid my whole life and i’ve never been a likeable person . My parents divorced when i was five or six. My mom told me we were going to sleep over at a apartment for a while but now that I think about its funny…. I think. I started to become a unlikeable child after that because of going through many random rages of anger. I fought alot with my little sister. During that time […]

hello everyone

I am tired to confront

the increasing stupidness and absurdity of modern society
the psychological violence which has torn my family apart, therefore my life
social inequality between human beings
others, I’ve had enough with pretending to be someone I’m not
distance, the fact that the love of my life lives on the other side of the world
constant frustration, depression, sadness and knowing I can’t do anything about it
the lack of understandment of people I talk to
myself, I wish I could be someone else

I wonder who I am, if my existence has a meaning, if life is worth the fight

I wonder why everything seems so shallow except the past

then […]

I think one of the problems i have, is that everything i feel is intense. If i am depressed, I will sink into a hopeless abyss that i can’t get out of, if i am happy (which isn’t often) i will be jumping off the walls. and being super nice and lovely.

Every emotion there is has such an effect on me. I think when it comes down to it, that is why i am SO unhappy all the time, because i am feeling unhappy with my WHOLE body… and i can’t stop it.

I watched a movie recently, called ‘Daydream Nation’, the main character Caroline pretty much […]

IT MAKES YOU HUNGRY!

I wish for everybody to have a good holiday and a safe and happy New year.

for all of you under 18 and have a bad home life, do the best you can with making your life the best you can. stay in school, get an education, learn from your experiences ,helping others actually helps you, be kind but stAnd tall. breath, stay calm. your not alone in this world. whatever your problem, there is someone out there with your same problem. you can overcome all obstacles, it’s your choice. hang in there, sanity is in the minds eye.

peace.

so scream, bleed, do what you need. say goodbye. will they mourn? will they cry? while they stumble you will fly. bye bye life bye bye sorrow. hello knife goodbye tomorrow. It’s time to part. strike your heart. and slip away. slowly fade. goodbye, good day. I fear i can’t stay…

Sixty seven cuts

mouths open in disbelief

interrogating me

but conversation doesnt help.

They all know the culprit

But they still judge.

Yeah

go ahead.

give me another reason

to go to sixty eight

Never fathomed this would be the path I follow
Never knew I could stoop so low
Only I and he who had been involved would know
Because then only such a reputation could grow

Initially simply fooling around with a boy
Just an experimental joy
Suddenly I become a constantly used toy
Innocence – destroy

Pride in decisions transfiguring to remorse
Once hopes and goals blow off coarse
And he uses plentiful force
To do what none other would endorse

Just thought it would help me from my already broken heart
But it all seems to be tearing it even more apart
Who can I go to who […]

Its me…..i’ve still been cutting….i’ve been cutting for 3 years now. And i cant stop. I dont know how to get help and i don’t know how to tell my parents. they found out before and supposedly am a lot better but i never really felt that way. Or maybe i did feel better but i can’t let go of my past and i never stopped cutting. I dont cut in my wrists anymore cause my mom got really mad at me the last time she saw it….she hasn’t been very understanding but then again i know its hard for a my mom to see […]

I know none of you want to hear this and I presume most of you will not listen to me but please try. Im begging you, do not give up. Death is not an answer. Suicide is the easy way out and shows no stength. You need to hold on. There is people who care about you and if not, I care.. Life is precious and there are hundreds of thousands of people who die every single day who didnt want to, who chose life but got it ripped from their grasp without a choice. The most selfish thing you could do is to kill […]