Here I am still trying to stay strong but falling apart each and everyday I feel like I just could fade away any day now and no one could care and just like that I could be gone. I feel like I do not want too keep going anymore. I have made promises to those who I will not let down. I love and care about the ones I promised too but please if I do give up just know it was for the best. I am not giving up just yet I want too beat my depression so badly I want too stop feeling suicidal I just […]

I sit here eating .. like a pig. Ive already eaten two burriotos, chow mein and now icecream.. and yet im still hungery. I’ve tried to puke up my food but i never have the balls. And i’ve tried to go with out eating but all it does when i finally eat is make me look like a bigger big then i already am. Im 14 and wieght 125pounds and i hate it. Everyone says its fine. That thats a normal weight.. but when u look at the other girls AT SCHOOl at their all 105 and TALLER then you .. you know your fat. […]

The Suicide Project is a neutral place to discuss your suicidal feelings, thoughts, and stories. We are “anti-suicide” insomuch as we don’t allow posting for suicide partners or specific suicide methods (so yeah, don’t do that). But that’s as far as things go in terms of that.

We prefer you come here to share your story about suicide — that’s what this site is about. Not to share your random observations on your life, the universe, etc. But we also understand sometimes those two things have to go hand in hand (and we allow for that).

It’s a dumb argument to get into, so don’t. Who […]

Where went my spirit of the season? It is not here with me now, I cannot reach it to invite it to be with me…
ife is about as fun as the droplets of rain that trickle down the panes of the windows I stare out of.
The sky is gray and dull. Not flannel grey, being all soft and cuddly and comforting, the other gray and dull. The barely there whiteness of cold steel silver skies, observed through unhappy eyes, eyes that used to be twinkling happy expectant eyes. The eyes that search for a path of hope to lead itself […]

I am about to go to sleep forever and would like to leave something behind before I go. I’m a 22 year-old guy with nothing left to do but die. There is nothing else I desire from this world but death and things considered impossibly unattainable. Here’s to hoping I succeed and do a great job in dying as painlessly as possible. May the remainder of your lives be good and hopefully you’ll recover from whatever you’re suffering from. I can’t take this anymore. I bid you all adieu.

I finally went to the ER last Tuesday and let them check me into the psych center. The first two days, my anxiety, social phobia and agoraphobia prevented me from eating (no food allowed in patient rooms…everyone had to eat together in one of two designated rooms) or even from getting water. I stayed in my bed, reading Sherlock Holmes stories. After the meds started to kick in, I went out of my room more. I met a twenty-two year old boy with such bad anxiety, he cried and shook and picked at his fingertips almost constantly. I talked to […]

Got along day with a lot of work to get done. Think I’m going to be able to handle it… Think I’m even gonna trybtoday. Like REALLY try…

wish me luck! I might need it

I feel like I get so far, handleing depression, taking the pills etc. Then someone or various people reject me and Im back to square one. I fucken hate mtself so why the hell would anyone else like me.
I thought this group of people were my friends but their not. I think that I am just a joke to them/slash a backup person to hang out with. Fuck I shouldn’t drink either because it messes with my pills, but thats all these guys are about, drinking so I just end up doing the same. I fell for one of them too, hard. We […]

I’m only 16 years old, and I’ve been thinking of suicide since I was 14 years old. Nothing ever goes right for me even if I try my hardest. I have no one I’m particularly close to, so I don’t tell anyone how I’m feeling. People purposely leave me out from things so I sit at home every night by myself. My parents are never in and they don’t understand me anyway, I listen to different music to other people so I don’t fit in because I’m different. I literally sit at home every night and think that if I killed myself no one would care. I’m so […]

It’s stupid. And naive. I know.
But I still want to believe that love and compassion will always win at the end.

So I will.

1) Competition. Consequently, “No true Scotsman.”

E.G., “Those other people aren’t really [insert something here]. They’re faking/have no reason/lying/trying to be cool/trying to get attention. I’m a true [insert something here]. Those people give us a bad name.”

2) Physical appeal. It’s a damn quirk of genetics. Get over it. Who a person is counts for so much more than how a person looks; what you see is often not in alignment with the person beneath the veneer.

3) Consumerism. So fucking what? You have a huge-ass plasma T.V., central air, a brand-spanking new SUV with plush leather seats and XM radio? Why the hell should what you […]

I’ve gotten tired of posting because I feel as if all I ever do is talk about one or two issues that bug me, which make me feel like a broken record. Work, money, jobs, careers, employment, vocation, occupation; I hate them all with a passion. And all of them are essentially one thing; work, productivity, financial worth, personal marketability, merit, utility.

When I was a kid, I grew up watching both my parents toil away from one job they hated, to another job they hated, to another job they hated…. and ever since I was old enough to work myself, I’ve repeated that trend with […]

I hate living, I hate the people I live with they make me so angry, I’m ugly, I have no money or job, I’m socially awkward, I’m not very smart, every task is hard, I get no pleasure from the boring food I eat, I do nothing all day, got no close friends, and I’m only 18 years old. I just hate life I wish I was never born.

I lay awake
Depressed and thoughts start to play
Well, what do they say
Can I be free? Willl I be free?
Or will that little ***** get her way
Fuck you
Fuck everything in the world
When do I get my turn
I wonder what it would be like
To live in a different family
A family that didn’t let me get abused
Someone who actually punished their child when they do wrong
When can I have that? When will I be free?

I want to die soo much. Everybody hates me in school. I have no friends. They all left me and now bullies me. Everyone bullies me because im fat and ugly, and because i have a speech disorder. I studder a lot, and i cant fix it. I tried to get skinny so i didnt eat for like 2-3 months, but i got really ill, so i had to quit it. My parents hit me and yell at me if I just drop a spoon, and my dad hits me with a belt(really really hard) if I get a B on my test. I just […]

I can’t stand my uncle. I loathe him. I loath living with him. I need my own place. I want to live by myself. He gets on my nerves, he annoys me. It doesn’t help the fact that I’m irritable. Bad mix. I stress out a lot. I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it. Whenever I try to be cool and collected, he just triggers me into being so catastrophic. I hate it. I need to be on my own. I know that I’m too young to have my own place, and can’t support myself, but I just need to be alone. Away from my uncle, […]

No one really understands everything that’s going on in my life…

People can probably relate, but, I feel so alone sometimes, so helpless…

Ive tried to kill myself once. My best friend found me, and took me to the hospital. Said I’d slipped on glass, that I almost died. That’s what they all thought. I was cutting for two years, and NO ONE NOTICED. How do people just not notice things like that?!?!?!

Most of the time, I feel like a battle no one wants me to win. My family life is shit, I have only a few friends, and I see pity on most peoples faces when […]

I’ve done better. I’ve gone three days without cutting, but no matter how much I want to get rid of my blade I can’t. I want so bad to stop cutting so my only friend, Michael, will stop telling me he’s lost his respect for me. I want him to see that I am strong. I’m scared though. What am I going to do when I have nobody else to talk to. So far he’s the only person who even knows how bad my cutting really is. Some of my friends know I’m a “little” depressed, but they’ve […]

Theres a girl … she doesnt know how to handle things… everythings spirling out of control… sometimes she can convince herself that shes not really alive… maybe shes in a nightmare.. and she just cant wake up..?

You’d never guess her secret  if you knew here.. she hides it so well… she seems so happy… do you want to know her secret..? She cuts herself. She doesnt know why… and she doesnt understand why she resolved to it.. but one thing she knows is SHE CANT […]