I was 10 when my Dad died of cancer. This basically ruined my life from then on. Within 6 months, my Mum had begun sleeping around with men and rejecting me as her daughter. This caused daily arguments which weren’t only shouting but violence too between us and my brother. When I was 13 my Mum attempted suicide 3 times. She wasn’t given any help except some anti-depressents for a month or two and as you can guess, she soon went back to her old self. Now, she has made the rest of my family and most of my friends hate me and stop talking […]
Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play
Every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues drawn
It’s always darkest before the dawn
And I’ve been a fool and I’ve been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I’m always dragging that horse around
All of these questions’ such a mournful sound
Tonight I’m gonna bury that horse in the ground
What’s going on with me?
Honestly.. I’m not like this.. I don’t show my depressing side on school, and today all I could do was just think how much I was exposing myself. I mean in school, I laugh and I don’t care about my problems but how can I do that if all I can be is sad and kind of depressed..
What if someone recognized?
I mean.. I want someone to but at the same time I don’t want anyone to recognize that.. Because they might leave me.. And leave my life forever.
Does that even make sense?
Now whenever I come home from school, all I can […]
I have Never Been Truly Happy,I Tried To Drink,Having Sex As Many As Possible Bt I Only Ended Up With Delayed Ejaculations cos Of Stress,Then Broke Up With My Lovers,I Cant Enjoy Anything,Even When I Dont Have Money I Cant feel The Need For It..I Can Stay Up To 2 Dayz Without Eating..I’m A Loner And Have Been All My Life..I Have A Family Bt I fought With All Of Them..I Even Get So Angry That I Feel I Can Kill Someone..I Beated Up My Father. .So I Think This World Is a Better Place Without Me,I Curse The Day I Was Borne..GOODBYE ..
It hurts so fucking badly, and I can’t stop crying.
I want to die.
It hurts so fucking bad.
Do you remember, when I told you how scared I was?
And you told me you would protect me.
Casey, do you know why I was so afraid, now.
Do you remember all those times you told me I was a strong person.
I told you, remember?
I told you, I’m not.
I’m sorry I’m not a stronger person.
I’m sorry
Hello Suicidal people its William the happy NFL fan bringing you another message of hope and something to be excited about.
While Thursdays nights game between The Jaguars and the Colts is not the most thrilling it still stands to be an interesting challenge I think we are going to see a desperate Jaguars throwing everything at this to win while the Colts will be trying there best being a crucial week for them to start looking like a contender for the playoffs.
Add to the the biggest and best match of the week between the Texans and the Bears is going to perhaps be one of […]
I found a note earlier today, it was written to me by my sister.
Rising up above the sky,
roses beautiful, living to die
you’re afraid of death I see
But it’s in your eyes, you’re leaving me
last night I heard a screaming voice,
the sound of a person without a choice.
burried deep in the ground,
the screaming voice can’t make a sound.
I started to cry when I read this, I thought I managed to hide it for her, be strong for her. but I guess I was wrong. she signed the letter and said:
I am not ready for you to leave […]
Why can’t I ever be happy? Â After 3 decades of trying, I don’t think it’s possible anymore.
ha ha he he ho ho they’re coming to take me away to the funny farm
I have a hard time talking about this stuff but i just dont know anymore about anything one second I’m happy and ok and most of the time i just dont know what to think its weird, i dont know what to think anymore I go to the gym to help my confidence and it seems the harder i go the harder i am on my self , I feel i made the wrong decisions in life im not getting anywhere with life i feel like im at a stand still, i hate every choice i have made noone knows i feel This way and […]
I have friends . Family ect . I had a rough child hood but it made me the strong person I am today . I can handle abuse , problems, conflict . Or at least on the surface . I smoke about an eigth a day of weed to mello out and drink when I can’t smoke . I use to use other drugs till I realized I was only letting “them” win by making myself look like the dirtbag they made me sound like . So I stick to my pot and alcohol although I have a struggle everyday. I feel like I dot […]
Tuesday appointment did not live up to my expectations but I now have a direction to work in and so have a plan to get on with things……maybe my expectations were too high , probably, but I have a mini game plan to start with so that is something. better than nothing which is what i had before ….nothing…thank goodness for even the smallest of blessings.
So as i was taking a shower, i just randomly began to think of how i had no childhood.. how i was a depressed and suicidal child, how i can hardly remember all the fun times i had but can vividly remember the days and nights i spent crying in my room feeling isolated and alone. As if no one could save me. I had flashbacks of getting bullied, of all the shit i had to put up with. And after the flashbacks, i felt nothing. I thought nothing. I could only stare at the wall with wide eyes. My body was cold, i had […]
Somebody needs to make a separate site for people who are depressed, can’t socially adapt or have issues with self-harm and negative self image. All these cries for attention are going to kill me before I kill myself.
Male, 18, Black, 5’9, 265
Atlanta, Georgia
Tonight is the night. It was inevitable really. LOL i finally realized that i will die from stabbing myself repeatedly in the neck. Why? Who cares? I’m ugly and fat which will never get me women. I have a terrible evil personality that comes out when i hang out with people too much. I’m just going to wind up hurting myself even more or others if i just don’t get it over with. It’s really not the big of a deal, if God does exist he’ll be just send me to hell and I can move on with my life. […]
Some time this week, I was planning on cutting my arm really bad and then going to the nurse and counselor about it. What do you guys think would happen? Would they send me straight from school to a psychiatric hospital? Would they just call my parents and have them start taking me to a psychiatrist?
I was so ready to eat the berries. But then I got a text from a friend inviting me over next weekend, I realized that I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t do it because I was weak. I couldn’t make myself do what I know everyone secretly wants me to do and it is killing me. I tried talking to the counselor but everytime I go in there I end up talking a about something else. she can’t help me because twice I was a coward.
being hurt sucks not knowing what to do, where to go but you know what im gonna get where im going one day or another maybe one day ill break down but today im standing tall and looking down at the world all the pain and hurt but also all the love and care so i think i might just make it caus im done giving a FUCK and finally gonna live im gonna do what i want say what i want and go where i want becuase i dont give two flying FUCKS about anyone anything or whatever comes my way i am my […]
I know so much about cancer.
so many family members have died from cancer.
And I just found out i have cancer.
im 17 and have cancer.
never even thought it would happen to me.
what do i think?
how do i react?
what do i do??
Should i be scared? depressed? worried? nervous?
I dont know what to feel.
I can’t feel anything…
I cant think anything..
i think to much now..
i cant help but wonder…
why me? why me God?
Did I deserve this? Really?
There isn’t any place as welcoming and unforgiving as it. Actually, that’s wrong. Hitting rock bottom means everything you have done may not be tolerable, but maybe it might be forgivable in the next life. And so here we sit. Alone. Cold. Empty. Loving and hating every second of it. Loving, because the hatred gives you power. Something to feel. I’d rather feel bitter than this damned sadness all the time. Ignorant to other emotions. Numb. The soft buzzing in your ears allows you to focus on your own problems. That’s all everyone is doing, anyways. Dealing with their own problems. What’s it to you […]