A girl at work made me listen to the voicemail that her husband left her right after he slit his throat in a suicide attempt. I was shocked at the time but now that I’ve had time to process, I cannot stop thinking about it. I am extremely upset. I have attempted suicide once and no matter how happy I feel like I am on the path to becoming, always return to thoughts of worthlessness, uselessness, etc. I am just falling back into a dark place right now and was hoping to maybe at least hear from someone who understands.
I found this via the links SuicideProject has on the right… And I beLIEve it is worthy of consideration, since our suicidal minds are already preoccupied with real world experience/ multimedia amusement/ wtf worry/ lack of sleep/ cognitive issues/ etcetera… Though, really, who else gets us besides maybe two people irl if we’re lucky? Read if you dare.
http://psychcentral.com/news/2012/10/10/social-anxiety-can-fuel-compulsive-internet-use/45844.html
Does anyone here take the new anti depressant valdoxan?
And does it help?
The cuts run deep
The cuts run wide
Criss crossing
in every way
Here, there, everywhere
Up my arm, down my arm.
Skin blood stained.
Covering the cuts,
so no one knows the things you do.
So no one asks questions.
So no one knows how much you really hide.
I choose to hide so much under these cuts.
Behind the smile I choose to put on every morning.
So no one suspects.
Killed the children of our love
Filled our lives with pills
A journey of pain from the start
It’s gonna rain
and I don’t have a heart
I am ashamed of what I’ve done
Will you cry when I am gone?
What if God doesn’t exist
Will you let me be dead meat?
I’ll be here for you
When your life stops making sense
Cause death is so intense…
We’ll meet in hell again
When you feel well again
So we can start again
I’ve never done this before but I need someone who understands me to talk to. Let me start by describing myself a little bit. So I’m a 25yo woman (kid at heart). I’m told by most I look like I should be a model (I don’t see it). I have an awsome personality very down to earth open minded and supportive to others and have a lot of knowledge about life do to my own exploring. I have no kids but the best dog in the world that I would take a bullet for and a man of 6 years. But ever since I can […]
I don’t know if I belong here.
Maybe I’ll let you decide.
The first thing I remember about growing up is feeling like a burden. I was 6 years old when my father was laid off, and I put the guilt on my own back, feeling like (maybe it wasn’t my fault but…) I was an extra mouth to feed when my family had nothing. I was never beaten, Never abused. My father’s not a drunk, nor is my mother a user. My parents are still together, and my whole family talks… at least small talk. I’m even still welcome after all I’ve screwed up. I shouldn’t […]
I am numb, empty and very lonely. I have no friends, no company at all, my phone never rings. I am constantly disrespected by everyone I know. I sit in my room daily staring at the walls. I have tried to find employment and even sold everything I owned to go west with my education and employment experience and couldn’t find work. I came back for a potential job that just happened to call while I was away, got the interview as a boss over engineers and now, I can’t get there because I recently wrecked my car from a deer and have no transportation […]
ok… thanks anyyways everoen…
i was an alconolic for 3 years. i havn’t touched it foo about a year now but i kinda jumped back into it last week aggain. i know i shouldnt but its i know how goood it feels now that i get drunk again. normally im afraidd to talk to people or even hav simple human interacton. but when i drink tgose irrational fears r gone. but one thing that hasnt gone away  is my loneliness. so i understand if no one wantsb to talk to a drunk guy riht now… but i’d figure i’d put thos out there justt imcase…
Cut my life into pieces. This is my last resort. Suffocation, no breathing. Don’t give a fuck if I cut my arms bleeding.
Losing my sight, losing my mind. Wish somebody would tell me I’m fine. Nothing’s alright. Nothing is fine.
Cut my life into pieces. This is my last resort.
MY BIRTHDAY IS OCT. 12 I HONESTLY THINK NO ONE CARES FOR IT. ITS BEEN ANOTHER YEAR OF THIS SHITHOLE I CALL LIFE. I WANT TO BE DONE. I THINK IT WOULD BE COOL TO BE BORN AND TO DIE ON THE SAME DAY. TRUST ME I EVEN JOKED ABOUT IT. IF MY EX-BEST FRIEND, WHO I REALLY CARE ABOUT, SPEAKS TO ME BY MY BIRTHDAY I WILL CONSIDER NOT DOING SUICIDE BUT ITS HOPEFUL WISHES. FINGERS CROSSED.
I hate crying. Hate it to my core. When i cry, its usually silent sobs and gushing tears. I dont ever get a chance to cry out loud. If i do, then people would want to know why. I cant speak when i cry. I have no words just thoughts when i cry. They look at me like, “she’s phsycoticly disturbed” I agree in my head. RIGHT NOW I NEED TO CRY. JUST CRY MY EYES OUT. WHEN SOMEONE SEES I AM IN PAIN I TEND TO HIDE IT WITH A REALLY LAME EXCUSE LIKE I HAVE REALLY BAD TOOTHACHE OR I WATCHED TITANIC. I […]
I ruined everthing i had with my best friend since kindergarten. Just a week ago, we giggled, laughed out loud, joked, had lunch together, gave advice, told secrets, and talked about boys. I ruined it all through a stupid social site, I am stupid. I told her that i felt like a “back up friend” It’s a little true. but she is complicated. I thought we were going strong but turns out we were hanging by a piece of thread. If its that easy to lose someone, i chose not to get close to another person. I hate myself for it. The saddest thing is that she […]
I came back from a place where a couple close people in my life cared and wanted me and i go home to hell. I am in my room thinking about how bad a person i am. Outside my room, i hear yelling, crying, and things being thrown. I’m scared. I hate this. I just heard my mom say something about divorce. My parents dont want us kids. We are hopeless and trouble makers to them. they say it soo much i start to believe. I want to show them up and show them that they are wrong beyond belief BUT then again i let […]
Soy un todo, soy nada; soy lo que quieras, lo que no puedas ser. El pensamiento me traiciona, me maltrata hasta el quiebre. Inevitable comienza el descenso a mas de 100km/h, espero poder remontar antes de llegar al suelo, el impacto serÃa fatal. Mantngo las esperanzas pero se sienten las consecuencias de la caÃda. Observo con atención: las grietas aunque pequeñas duelen más de lo que pudiese imaginar. Tal vez y sólo talvez, se quiebre todo incluso metros antes de poder visualizar el suelo. Creo que se han desprendido pedazos de todos los tamaños, el movimiento los ha hecho volar como plumas.
Ya no soy […]
I dont know who I am. I never really have. From the very begining I have always been told who I was: nerd, teachers pet, goody to shoes, stright A student, “the perfect daughter”, a good catholic school girl, and the girl who would NEVER say a bad word. It has gone on for so long that I have lost myself and have no idea have to find myself again. I want to but I dont have the will power anymore. I just want to give up and let myself go numb and fall into the molds that other people have made for me. But there is this small sliver inside me that wants […]
I keep hearing that im not acting like my self latly…. Oh really?!?! You must know me better than I do because I dont even know who I am. Yet you think you know me well enough to go around telling me when im not acting like myself and when i am? I dont think so! Every time you do this you know it pisses me off yet you keep doing it claiming that ur “just trying to help”! I am so done with you!!!
Hi…I know my story will sound quite pathetic, but i must admit im really glad there is a place in the world where I can tell it. It all started 18 years ago, the day I was born, it was also the day I feel I had my life taken from me. My parents I love them, or at least I think I do. But is it love? What is love? all I know is that I am extremely unhappy. I am 18… I have never used drugs or alcohol, have never gone to a party, had a boyfriend (or done all the things that […]
i kinda give up on suicide attempts my life is no longer that bad BUT of course its like ive grown addicted to the sadness i felt so long it wont leave so i cut..and cut..and Cut and…CUT..til i cant take nothing then i cry and wish everything was ok…but that will never be