i’ve got off with 2 boys. i’m no slut. but for some fucking stupid fucking reason i wanted to be. i let the second boy i kissed finger me and i was told yesterday that it was filmed. and it was light. and people have it on their phones. people have talked about me and laughed about me and bitched about what a fat slag i am. i dont know what to do. every person i see i think they’re looking at me and i dont think i can take it. who has seen it? has everyone? my best friend was killed by a train […]

I am an utter wreck, I lost my job, I am always at odds with my mother, I am constant arguments with my father, I bicker with my siblings, I distance myself from others. I seem to never care, I always think that looking out for myself is the best way to go. What is wrong with me? When I look at my knife on my table, I tell myself, maybe, just maybe,  If I’m gone from this world, I will never cause anyone harm and grief, I will never become a bother, I will never become a burden. For 10 years, I have been so bitter, towards the […]

If you have the time watch the video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ej7afkypUsc

This is the facebook page

http://www.facebook.com/pages/RIP-Amanda-Todd/516779355000334

Everyday it’s hard to go on, but just keep swimming. [nemo reference]

She’s like a lot of us on this site. On the facebook page it says to wear pink on Monday for Amanda. I’m going to, and maybe by posting here a few more if you will join me. Just hoping.

Last night I did something I’d promise myself I’d never do again.
That if it ever came to that moment in my life I’d find another alternative.
But for some reason I just couldn’t resist.
I started cutting my arm again.
I was upset and in so much pain
I really couldn’t take it anymore
I wanted to feel better and relieved
And this was what I needed
This was what i missed
From the rush of the cold blood flowing down my arm
To the pain and sadness slowly disappearing
I know I broke a promise to myself and I know I’m going to regret this
But I needed comforting
And my sharp, cold, silver friend was […]

Hi there. For those who care, i’m a 30 yr old guy from eastern europe with a steady job and a cynistic world view.. and who thinks he’s got nothing to lose. I came here not because i’m depressed (that also happens time to time) but to find people who maybe share this feeling of emptyness.. i dont really care if i die tomorrow or a week from now or even in december, as long as i dont hurt anyone as i go out.  I just wanna live as long as i can do what i want. But not more than 50 or 60. People […]

I can’t ever remember a time when I haven’t thought about killing myself. My life has always been a mess. I was an overweight kid so school was a nightmare. For some reason I always make the wrong decision or do the wrong thing. I don’t know if I’m evil or just stupid. My depression has gotten so severe that I can’t work. I live with my parents and hardly ever leave the house. Recently my one real friend stopped talking to me and it has pushed me over the edge again. I just feel like I can’t go on anymore. What’s the point? I […]

I’m more than 100% certain that I want to die, but the only thing currently stopping me is how much things will change for everyone who knows me.

I don’t want to upset anyone.

How do I get over this?!

hey am 18 and i still cant have a fone nor can i go out with friends am so sufficated i just want to be able to make my own choices in life not have them made for me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByYRJG2zShY this song says it all

Before Dr. Eben Alexander, noted neurosurgeon and scientist, fell into a coma in 2008, he would have scoffed at the poor delusional souls that claimed to have had near-death-experiences. It isn’t that he didn’t believe that they thought the experiences they relayed were real. It’s just that he was raised as a man of science and accepted the scientific view that such experiences were the result of oxygen deprivation and a malfunctioning brain.

According to his article published in Newsweek Magazine that appears on The Daily Beast, on Oct.8, that all changed when he had an out-of-body experience while in a coma.

“As Alexander explains, “I […]

From what I’ve gathered most of the people on this site are suicidal because they’re unable to cope with the emotional pain in their lives. This isn’t the case with me, despite having to deal with emotional turmoil on a daily basis I always manage to push it aside and enjoy myself. It doesn’t even take that much of an effort  to come on top of my negative emotions, i easily distract myself with whatever.

Problem is I don’t consider my life to be worth even the little effort i give it, i just don’t see the point and am becoming increasingly indifferent about it. The […]

I am sorry for being so selfish, but it selfish to ask me to stay. I have battled depression and forms of self harm for over ten years. I am tired, so tired! No one can say I didn’t try. I wish I was gone already and am angry that I was saved from my few death experiences. Not this time. I love my family. To them I am sorry that’s they should be so heart broken, but the death that I am speaking, I am living unspoken. I have all that I need, I am alone in this hotel room. No one knows […]

It’s amazing how little a single life matters.

The more people you encounter on a daily basis, the less value a single life will have. It’s desensitization. It happens to everyone from time to time. Such is also true with emotions; the more you feel a single emotion, the less significant it becomes. Depression is like that, too. It becomes normal, and you can take it for granted. You can achieve all your hopes and dreams, and find no joy in having done it because all you know is a sinking despair.

It’s easy to give in to that, to assume your emotions are you. […]

ive been trying to keep a happy face on for the last week because i dont want to hurt anyone anymore. its kind alike at first they were worried about me and now its old news and i make them sick to their stomach or something, i dont want to be a burden and i dont want people to feel obligated to listen to my whining. it hurts though, knowing that none i know has the power to help me. it hurts that i cant find a way out of my own misery and it hurts that i’ve reached out to everyone and nothing has […]

i’m young and stupid and niave and melodramatic,

i realize

but i need to be told so.

in my heart, i can’t see how i can be anything but alone.

i’m utterly devoted to someone who wants to forget me.

i have every reason to hate him, but my soft heart aches for him and no one else.

these thoughts aren’t like me, but tonight, it’s just him on my mind.

him i wanted to forget when i took a handful of painkillers,

awh, this drowsy numbness is better than missing him.

To everyone planning or even thinking about killing yourselves- hear me out.

I’ve always been one to finish what I’ve started. Even when I thought about killing myself, I would stop and think- was there anything big that I would leave undone, if I were to die? So I came up with this: just a little anchor, to keep myself from letting things get out of control.

Every day, I would think of something to do. It could be something real, like finally finishing that drawing I’ve been working on, or completely stupid, like making up a code and teaching it to my sister. But no matter what it […]

big scary black figure stand right b4 my eyes…and its telling me to get lost and die already….i started ignoring it…the figure increased in size and tone…it wont shut up so i started talking to it….its harrassing me…so i began holding convo with whatever this thing is….and were arguing…and my ability to breathe is low….i feel like im controlled, a black figure circling me..controlling my every move….HELP ME?

I really don’t know why I’m even writing this, maybe because I just can’t keep this to me anymore. It’s Friday and almost 5 AM, and here I am, on the computer while tears go down my face. I’m 15, and I just feel that I don’t belong in this world. I really never felt like fitting in. I look up at my friends and they’re either dumbasses or fucktards. This summer I tought I found a friend with who I could talk about everything, but less than a week than telling him that I had a crush on a girl we both knew, he […]

I’m just in outcast living in the shadows. I get bullied and teased everyday. I have no one there for me. My family has given up on me and moved on. Because of my past and my mistakes I have no friends. I try and make things right but its impossible. Everyone says to never look back but its hard NOT to look back on the things you regret. Ive already tried to commiit suicide in April and nobody knows. I’m planning on doing it again because I have nothing to lose.. If I killed myself tonight everything would still be the same. There still […]

so im a 14 year old teenager and in constant pain. ive been pulled out of school because i was bullied extremley bad. my life has been going down hill ever since i was 12 and got a diease in my foot which spread to my whole leg and then to my other foot and up my leg and now its going into my hand. what would you do if you knew you were going to be in pain for he rest of your life and nothing can help???? i used to be an odinary kid full of smiles laughter and hapiness that was real, […]

Invisible

Could she belong too?

 

My invisible,

Let her play and run.

Have her day in the sun,

 

But my sweet invisible

It’s only for a day.

 

For they don’t want you

They cast you aside

 

My darling invisible, 

But we love you

Life even without love

 

It’s worth living

My invisible

 

The sweetheart you are,

Shine today as the brightest star

But only today

Invisible

You were always visible to me