um,i don’t know how to start this,i’ve never talked about my suicidal thoughts to anyone,ever,but i felt like you people can at least understand cause you’ve had it bad too. well,let’s start with family eh? my family,my father is a ***** who left me and my brothers with our mother for 10 years and now he wants me to get back with him. me and my brothers tried to forgive him for all that he’ve done through out all these years but he wouldn’t let us. it’s like he wants us to hate him but go with him,and leave my mother alone. i’m the one […]

Anyone who would like together together for a drink (or 10) to discuss how awful life is?

I’m not optimistic about the future. I think my life is already done. I know, or I think so, that I have skills and abilities. If I wanted to, I could do a lot of things, I could be anything: a genius, a hero, a loved one. Sometimes I feel like I were God, with all the possibilities and a whole life in front of me. And sometimes, I feel like a turtle: small, useless in most of the cases and always quiet and hiding. I know I’m not doing any of what I could do, just because I’m too stupid for doing it and, sincerely, too lazy. A […]

For the past year, I’ve been struggling with life. Attempted suicide, cut, people were made aware, my parents said I had “no reason” or I did it “to be cool”. They even told everybody that. Never even considered counseling or meds. Just acting like it never happened, they didn’t even give a fuck. I still cut, I’m still depressed, I think about suicide just about at least once a day. I’ve got help once, what’s the point in trying to get help again? It’ll end the same anyways. If I do permanently harm myself its not like anyone will care. Except my bestfriend. Besides her, […]

HI friends I don`t skeak English very well but anyway I try to express my feelings of distress and depression I`m suffering off, although I went on treatment since 3 yrs ago and I`ve got a good time until this year, is terrible cos I got some crisis and the last I`ve got was so severe you don`t know how hard is it when you try to jump up from bridges or if you cut your vains when I wanna hurt yourself or when all your life are obsessed with a person you love so much and this person treats you […]

So today I was actually feeling pretty good, then my dad came into my room and started calmly talking to me, then out of nowhere he started yelling at me because my clothes are on my couch and not in the closet that is in another room, and I’ve been putting my clothes here so that I wouldn’t have to go into another room every time I want to get dressed for a year now. So then my mom came into the room and my dad started yelling at her because she didn’t make sure that my clothes would be in the closet and she […]

it is always the people you least expect,how can you trust anyone in this world,do people really care like they say they do,when they aint there wen you need them,but then when you dont need them,they decide to try and take over your life,were the fuck were you wen i needed you if you cared so much?mabey some people really do,but i dont understand how,people always think they know you,and sometimes more then you know yourself,but how the hell can they know me wen i bearly know myself?its not possible,this world is so shitty,it feels like iv been forced into this world,out of my control […]

I don’t know what to live for anymore. My life goes the same pattern every single day and I think it’ll go the same way every single day ’til I die. I wake up, go to school, do some homework, do some household choirs, watch some tv, go to bed. In the future school will switch to work.

I mean… No day has meaning and every day is a struggle. So why continue? I know I’ll never get completely through my traumas and I’ll never be truly happy. (And yes I know that happiness isn’t a destination, more like a way of life but still I […]

I need someone to talk to about everything. Please.

It’s true. And it’s the reason for my suicide. These feelings of hopelessness stem from being an imperfect human being. I have a poor memory, make lots of mistakes – but worst of all, I’m ugly. I am so unattractive. I look in the mirror and fall apart crying, I get violent visions of mutilating my body, hacking it to pieces until I disintergrate. Until I’m nothing anymore. Unrecognisable. Until I die from bloodloss, hopefully, and everybody can forget I ever existed. That’s all I want – to not exist, to never have existed. I wish I had never existed.

I go to bed and pray […]

Dear Friends gud evening to all of my staff today i.e., 08/10/2012 i want to die becoz i dont want to live in this world there is an small incident happen my girl friend left me before 3 months i loved her very much but she left me as alone ………………………………………………………..

I just burnt myself for the first time, and i don’t see what all the hype is about. I have heard from so many people that after cutting becomes too easy and doesn’t give enough thrill, burning helps to fill that void.

It’s a waste of time, it didn’t hurt all that much and looks like shit.

All i want to do now is slice my flesh open to see all my blood.

One fail after another.

I just want to know what I did to deserve such a shit life I mean why me. Is this fate or what the fuck is this bullshit.

your perfume on the bedclothes
your words are in my head
you spoke and all of my blood froze
if only it was solid now.
your clothes speak softly to me
the voices in my head
all is well and you are free
if only i was solid now.
your voice rings hollow, true
and echoes in my head
i see the pain that i’ve caused you
and i don’t feel so solid now.
the future hangs uncertain, lost
and i know what’s right in my head
i must give back, whatever the cost
it’s the only thing that’s solid now.

I want someone to tell me they love me.

Either that, or I want them to beat me up until I cant walk anymore. Calling me a worthless whore while doing so.

I think I prefer option number 2.

after like 8 month without cutting last night i went totally overboard and made myself pass out. fuck. and now i’m gonna be stuck in the fucking cycle, fucking again, all because of a fucking girl

I dont know how to start this. I feel head sick, my brain just never stops. everything is just going and going.it feels like its been years since i slept, like really slept, or woke up and felt like”todays he day”. my entire life i have always felt behind, like everyone in the world attended the”how to” of life, and i was late and missed it. sometimes i have dark thoughts, dark enough i wont put on here but they are terrifying. the thing that i dont get is i come from a good home. both my parents love me and my mom has done […]

My arms are so cut up right now that there is no room left to leave more gashes. I guess I will start on my legs. It doesn’t hurt and I’m beginning to feel really dizzy. Dizzy dizzy dizzy.

You should have seen me the last 25 twenty years. Unstoppable. Driven by a ambition, of course, but a great philosophy too. It still is, if you can buy into it. I just can’t anymore. Slowly but surely, i’ve ignored what i should have been looking for over the last 10 years. Promises made and disregarded. imposition, no communication with consideration. Don’t let me bore you with my story..its almost over. I’m writing this post for anyone else who has doubts about finding ‘that’ person to live the rest of their lives with. They are there! Further, its better to keep looking than settle on […]

It’s been a hard day..  Trying to mediate between loved ones that are fighting.. Dragging me through their arguments, trying to get me to support them when all I want to do is hide in my cupboard and cry.. I’ve just taken 10 of my seroquels.. Hopefully I’ll be able to sleep soon.. I don’t understand how no one can see the false smile I wear day in, day out.. I’m sat staring at my knife.. I’ve had it for years and it always brings me comfort but then I know that I have lost the fight.. I think the longer I put it off […]