I always thought I was a strong, kind and confident girl who everyone relayed on and came to for help. I was a good friend. But whenever I did something kind, I never got anything in return. Society ruined me. I wanted to put my life on track again but it didn’t seem to work out. People made me nervous. They said words they never thought that I’d over think off at night.

I cry a lot and it’s pretty weird how I fake smile everyday and I pass through the day then, I remember everything at night.

I used to tell people they are strong and life goes […]

Oh my lovely alcohol, oh how you do please me
Fill my heart with sadness, and electrifying glee.

A sweet yet bitter liquid, that seeps into my veins
You dull my mind, you free my spirit, and take away the chains.

Sloshing in your frigid flask, you ask and tease for more
With jest and greed I indulge thee, and pass out on the floor.

No memory of prior things, convulsing laughs and tears
Ups and downs, a roller-coaster, yearning for more beer.

Dancing jigs to country music, strange and quite erratic
Thank god nobody’s watching, it must be quite traumatic.

Spread out on the cold concrete, bottle in one […]

why does life have to be so hard?some people think its so easy,or they say(it cant be that bad)them are the people who have family,and friends,people that care about them,and have never been hit in there entire lifes,lets see them close minded fucks try to walk in these shoes,them people that tell me that,wouldnt last a day,iv lasted 21 years,i cant say i survived,i thrived more then anything,i still thrive,i aint that lucky little 16 year old who has a mom and a dad to buy her a car and get her ,her drivers licence,i dont have the support for shit,i do everything on my […]

i can’t share my story, it’s too hard. i can’t let go of old memories that happened in my life. whenever i ask mum for help she tells me that i’ll eventually move on with life or something i do not cut or hurt myself so that’s why i want a fast way to commit suicide because how awkward would it be jump off a cliff or something and not die.. thanks, your help would mean a lot

Well, I guess my story starts from the day that I was born. My mother, so I’ve been told, started drinking around the age of twelve. She was from an extremely abusive household and I figure she needed something to get her mind off of it. I don’t hold it against her. Anyway, she had about seven kids with a different man every time all over the United States and dropped us with the fathers. She committed suicide when I was about ten, not that it mattered. I never met the women and I don’t really care to.
My father also had a very, very, […]

|on oct 1 2011 \cralas commided sucide, please delete all his post

I feel… dirty. All of my friends call me innocent but they don’t understand. They rely on me to help them through their issues and I always try but how am I supposed to help them if I can’t even help myself? I have… family issues. When I was about three, my family adopted four kids: Amanda, Jason, Jacob, and Anthony. Anthony would undress me and I’d always be to week and scared to stop him. He would sneak into my room at night and pin me down. He did this for more than half of my life. If it weren’t for my parents, he would’ve done it […]

Most of the time I feel permanent. Not like immortal or anything, but more timeless. Fixed, I guess you could say. Because of this, I’m not easily afraid of anything, even death.

Once I was out with some friends at a restaurant. I can’t even remember exactly what was said, but a friend of mine said something that humiliated me in front of everyone. Now, there are a few emotions which my brain simply cannot process and my body simply cannot contain. Shame is one of them. I stood up, walked out, and cold late autumn air immediately began to burn my bare arms. I didn’t know […]

Passive, delicate and soft

But she’s not innocent in thought

And off her high doses of Zoloft

She’s like a psychopath on bath salts

She’s stolen my razor blades again

Locked in the bathroom drunk off gin

I scream at the door, but never win

Guess she never loved me at all

Hi. I used to be here by the name of Anae but lost both my password and the e-mail I used when logging in. Anyway, I’ve been good for awhile. I’ve got a boyfriend (for a year now) and now we live together. However, he’s at home now, he’ll come home the day after tomorrow.

I want to tell you my story and why being alone is so hard and devostating for me. I’ll tell it my way, in a short sentences because it’s hard for me to write about this. So please understand me. I don’t ask you to read this, I just want this […]

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6osf_johnny-cash-hurt-video_music

Today I got yelled at for forgetting to take something out of the wash. Yesterday I got yelled at for the failing grade I have in math. The yelling is always about me or towards me. That’s the only thing that’s me. Yet it’s not me, I don’t get to voice my opinion, because it’s always turned around. When I voice my opinion, she turns it and makes it seem like she’s always the victim. I’m sorry but I’m the one who’s always bing put down. I’m the one who hears every day how I do everything wrong. There are so many rules in this […]

Have we ever think about others? We all do that? Does everyone has someone that need to be loved?
If I’m sincerely, a part of me don’t want to die because that means leaving someone, or something, that is very, very important to me: Boddah, my teddy bear.  This may sound ridiculous, but is something, is a reason for keep going.
What about you? Does anyone has something or someone that make you reconsider your own wishes to die? A mother, a father, any family member, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a lifelong friend, a pet, a teddy bear.
Are we being selfish or we’re releasing […]

has anyone ever jumpt a train before?im just wondering because i want to do it,i want to see were it takes me,but question for the people who have already done it,is there anything i should know?

has anyanyone used propane

I haven’t been an avid writer on this cite, I haven’t been able to make any relationships with any of you, and I know this cite is to relieve oneself from the frustration of that constant feeling of undying depression, but I just wanted you all to know how thankful I am for all the help you have given me. Because even though you don’t know me, talked to me or even commented on anything I’ve posted, I have read your stories and I don’t feel alone. It’s been 7 months of suicide-free euphoria! Nothing has changed in my life, and if anything going through […]

Volcanoes are windows into the violent nature of our planet; what goes on beneath our feet, unbeknownst to all but those who poke at rocks. Our planet is violent because it was born into a violent, indifferent universe governed by determinism and scientific laws. It’s no wonder there’s a molten core driving the living systems of the earth.

Human beings are much the same. The only difference is that we’re not indifferent. Maybe the universe implicitly hates its own apathy. Who knows?

When I was 14, I watched my father drag my sister up a flight of stairs by her hair. He beat her with a […]

I’d like to be a EMT. Or a 68W, or a doctor… something along those lines. I know it’s not going to happen for a very long time, but I think it would be something I’d really care about. I wish I could save people.

Death by 1001 paper cuts