Friday. My 1st day back at school after being in the hospital all week for a failed suicide attempt. This really “popular” girl walked up to me in the lunch line. The line extends out into the middle of the cafeteria. I was at the back of this huge line in the middle of the packed cafeteria. She walked right up to me and asked me to homecoming. She is one of those girls that knows that she’s hot. You know? So obviously I wanted to respond like any hormone crazed 16 year old guy.

The initial reaction in my head:  ME!? Hell yea!!!

I just smiled, trying to think of what […]

My depression really affects my social life…I am attractive but not very confident ashen it comes to girls. I know my friends see it in my eyes, I’m holding in feelings. Im unhappy with the way things are going. And I really am tired of people saying that they worry about me, when they don’t. I don’t want to have another relapse. I feel like I’m only living for loved ones. If I didn’t have family I would have blasted my brains out ages ago…I thank them for that.

A lot of people say that committing suicide is a selfish act. I believe that the people that want to keep you here suffering so they don’t suffer are equally as selfish. I have people that love me but they all have their own lives and it’s not like they stop living them for me. On these lonely weekends I’ve been spending on my own, they are out with other people, laughing and having fun. Their day is not affected by the fact that I am depressed. They don’t think of me while they are out and about; instead I should think of them.

Why is […]

hi everyone you might not know me and i might not matter to you but i deserve to be heard and i think you should all read my next comments.

you’re never ever alone and you will never ever be alone, so stop thinking that you are.

yeah life sucks but it will get better eventually,  just continue to make the riht desicions and ignore the bullshit.

there is no need for suicide nor depression, everyone of you are beautiful human beings who deserve to be given a chance at life.

its not about beauty, popularity but it i about acceptance, in order to be accepted you must accept […]

i’m bryana, 16. i may seem like the happiest girl around, always smiling when i’m around people, trying to make people laugh constantly, but when i’m alone in my room all i do is cry and secretly think about how i’m going to kill myself..here’s my story, well part of it. i used to be the biggest tomboy ever, i’d play baseball even played peewee tackle when i was in third grade. i had so many friends and was soososooso happy all the time. even in middle school it seemed like everyone just wanted to be my friend as if i could do no wrong […]

Has anyone else realized how much life sucks? There is really nothing else to say about life other than that. Something good happens like someone good comes into your life and then its like life just says f*ck you! you dont deserve that! and rips it right back out of your life!  And there always seems to be some a**hole that gets between you and someone you really care about!  And people dont even realize what they are doin to you on the inside!  Or maybe they realize what they do to me and thats why they do it? i just dont know anymore…

i hate the feeling i get when i pss someone that hates me.

i hate that feeling of pain.

i hate the of loneliness.

i hate the feeling of being to afraid.

i hate the feeling of helplessness.

i hate the feeling that no one knows or cares.

I HATE THESE DEPRESSED FEELINGS.

I read alot. Majority of the books I read I find on Wattpad an online place where you can upload your writing and read what others wrote. Recently I’ve been pulled in by books that always end in heart ache.
I just finished reading the novel “The Boy With the IV” by bellapotter_16. And I cried so hard for someone who doesn’t exist. I never knew how much cancer has affected my life directly, besides the fact that cancer is the reason I woke up one morning to find out my grandmother is dead. I was eleven, and never thought about what she was going […]

…to remember why I hate weekends.

…for almost constant reminders that I have nobody that I’m actually close with in my daily life.

…to dredge through the reality that other people are confounding.

…to face the fact that I spend almost all of my time working on projects as a distraction from loneliness.

…to wonder why I teeter on the line between dying and living.

…to ponder the horrible absurdities that are basic human motivations, and their inbuilt contradictions.

…to acknowledge that this is all I’ve known for most of my life, and grudgingly accept that it will likely continue this way indefinitely.

…and to realize that I’m going to run out […]

hi im 14 and my name is kiara. im in year 9 and i am always bullied. since kindergarden i have never had many friends. i go to school everyday tobe bullied all the names i am called hurt me deeply, im so over it. i go to bed everynight crying on the inside. i cant tell anyone cause no one would understand nor listen or care. i get called everyname in the book, even my teachers bully me. i dont understad why im targeted all the time but i hate it. i hate the feeling of lonliness and depression. i have reported the bullies […]

Dear Old Dad was such a great guy, a cop, a civic leader, a “family man”. Truth is he hated his two daughters. I guess he just didn’t want kids or we just got on his nerves or something. I just remember him being mad all the time, beating us, yelling at us. I was scared to death of him. Once my stepmother and I had some words and I thought he was going to beat me to death, he told me if he had been on his deathbed he would have found a way to slap me. Guess we […]

I wish i had never said anything in the first place. i made it 18 years feeling like crap, like i was unimportant, useless, etc. but i made it.

I have parents that constantly tell me i’m insensitive, that i need to share my feeling, that its not healthy to bottle things up.

but the minute i told them i wasnt happy, that i felt neglected, worthless, etc.

it became, oh your so dramatic, you dont know what your talking about, suicide? dont be stupid.

everytime i work up the courage to talk about it, they just prove me right… that what i have to say and how i […]

my name is heather im 22 years old and im tired of living. i smile and laugh in a crowd and secretly plan my demise. i dont have the normal reasons why people want to die (if there are normal reasons) im attractive people say. i am a college student and i have a bf. but im just so tired of existing. i fantasize about death almost everyday. im alone in a crowded room, and i cant handle the stress of my past anymore. I plan on overdosing in a forest its a nature center that has trails preston would be so proud lol. but […]

I’m 19. I normally bottle everything up and hide it but like i said, i just don’t know what to do anymore.

when i was about 5 or so my mom got in trouble with the government because her and my fathers medical machines were threatening drug companies. My dad agreed to serve her term teaching the air force because she had cancer… she died when i was seven and my dad didn’t even get to be there, neither did i. my grandma pulled the plug and wouldn’t let me say goodbye. Later my grandma sued my dad for custody of me, but when the judge ruled against her she quickly […]

i cannot feel anything unless it is pain. I dont want to live like this. i do not know what to do. I long for death.

As Three Days Grace says, “I’d rather feel pain than nothing at all.”

I agree. Not just physical pain, but it seems as if I hurt myself emotionally with intent. For about three years now, my depression’s been going on and off, wavering. Sometimes I’ll feel incredibly ecstatic, and other times I’ll be locked up in my room, cutting away with my frenemy, X-Acto. But most of the time? The feeling of nothing. Tabula rasa. Now that I think about it, it’s kind of psychopathic. No empathy, no warmth, just… nothing.

I have tried calling the suicide hotline, only when I’m home alone, which isn’t for long. […]

I’ve given up on everything.

Has anyone ever felt as if they are just waiting to die? I have a job, great friends who love me, and no REAL reason to not enjoy life. I just cannot seem to get past this feeling that I have accomplished all I am going to, nothing interests me, and I am just wasting time until I die. Would love to come to terms with this and possibly get past it. I have done the therapy thing but to be honest it just seems to aggrivate me, being asked the same questions over and over. Any input, from anyone, is welcome.  I have edited […]

I had never thought about my depression after getting caught cutting. Until, my friend was curious how I stopped being depressed as much. That night, I gave in, I broke down, I coped, by cutting. The thoughts came back… I am back into my depression. And I’ll prolly never completely get out of depression alive.. So I’ll try to live my life with it. But trust me, I will get meds for my depression someday.

Remember how you got a call on the twenty-fifth of the month of may? Yeah, you do? Well how come you don’t give a fuck anymore? You said how, cuttings very bad, you and the school counsler, nurse, principal, social worker, and everyone told me the same thing. Does it seem like I cared? Because I sure as hell know you don’t care anymore. When you found out you accused me of doing it, “to be cool”, hate to tell you “mom” but I was depressed, and needed a way to cope. I had no one to talk to, you were always yelling at me, […]