Beauty.
in the eye
of the beholder.
no one is
holding me.
no beauty
for me.
turn on the light,
tell me what you see?
nothing beautiful at all.
i dont posses
that quality in me.
i cant change
how i look
how i sound
how i feel.
my life has
betrayed me.
i dont know
what to do.

Blue skies
and red ribbons
flowing freely
in the wind.
crimson waves
in the ocean
riding towards
the shore.
tears falling slowly
like marbles rolling.
the course of the
wind.
sobs.
coming from
the floors below.
i want to move,
but i cannot
it wont let me.
i see it now,
death invading,
i feel his thirst,
thirst for my blood.

a friend of mine who recently broke up with her bf is contemplating suicide & she shared that with me..she told me she wants to inhale carbon monoxide..i’ve told her parents but they haven’t done enough about , i feel sick thinking that she might die in a painful way…or would this even be fatal? i don’t want her to do this and i’ve tried talking to her & comforting her but she cries eveday and it’s awful seeing her this way i just don’t know what to do at this point..

http://youtu.be/7knUFWY2P44

I hate my life so much, everytime something good happens its gone in a flash, looking back all I remember feeling is sadness and depression, so many times I’ve been desperate to end it all, I just can’t because it would devestate my family, the only people who actually do love me. I’m just so miserable all the time, I don’t think I can do this much longer, it hurts all the time, I constantly feel like bursting into tears and its as if i’m powerless to stop it, i love someone and they cheated, i took them back now it seems they might not […]

hello. it has been so long since i have even been one here. since april actually. but i decided to come back on.
i feel done with life. im not living anymore. im just the walking dead, like a zombie. literally. i cant concentrate on anything. and ill probably be made to go to rehab soon because i couldnt stop smoking weed. well i dont really care. im planning on killing myself before that happens. i know for a fact that i can never be happy again. thats just never gonna happen. im just completely done. i dont even want to be around my best […]

All I remember, all I have in this life is pain. Nobody around me can even begin ti imagine: I am a well-educated person in a good and well-paid job that I love, I have, or at least I pretend I have, an active social life…But I have never been happy, and I am so tired o trying…I am so tired of living. Nothing takes away that feeling. My life is apparently good, but if I went into details, it would be clear that not all that shines i gold. I grew up in a broken home, an all my childhood memories are accompanied […]

I cheated on my last boyfriend with the same guy twice.
Ive had sex with three guys who i were not dating.
I’ve had sex with 10 guys
I have a tattoo
Ive tried killing myself several times
Ive been wanted to die for the past three years
Im scared of the dark
I feel like I’m never gonna make in this world without a man
I want a secret chick lover
I love photography but think i suck at it
I wish i could be a stonner like my brother bc then life would be simple
I pushed a lot of people away
I […]

The last five years of my life, atleast since i can remember back till i was about ten, my bother has been abusive to me in forms that over brother/sister fighting…. I have lived with my mother and him my whole life. My mother who is 52 years old has none of him doing this and has not done anything about it. She is very sick and is disabled so she doesn’t make much money. My brother used most of her money on weed and stupid shit. Im still in high school. He’s 19 living with us and has not tried to even look for […]

everything i do is for her. everything she does is also for her. i wish i could stop my heart from beating for her… but the only way to do that is to stop my heart from beating period.

it isn’t supposed to be like this. i miss her so much.

What do you do when it hurts so bad,
Hardly breathin..
Did some body arts..it’s bleedin..but i can’t feel the pain..no matter how many cuts i made..
Numb..
Pills…to knock me out.
Fallin apart.. cryin myself to sleep..

Hey, I’m 21 I have no friends, no girlfriend and I have been alone my entire life idk why. Everyone who meets me says I’m the Nicest guy but no one wants to hang out with me. I’ve been depressed almost my entire life I’ve never really had any friends I’ve only had one girlfriend and she ended up cheating on me. I really have nothing to really live for the only thing I’m good at his school and I have to work really really hard to do good in it. I need help. I’m just withering away

For some strange reason, all ive thought about today is my mom. She was diagnosed with schizophrenia about 6 years ago, and since then, she hasnt been the same. She functions fairly normally, but she seems sad a lot. She gets happy, but it dissapears really fast. I worry about her a lot because she doesnt eat a lot and shes extremely OCD about her food. We cant go near her while shes eating or she wont eat her food. She rarely eats everything she makes and always gives the remainder of her food away. Shes always extremely stressed. When shes mad or upset she […]

I made a few posts on here a while ago. I was in a really bad place.

Since then, I have made significant changes in the way I think and approach every situation. It hasn’t been easy, but I honestly feel like things will be okay. The posts that I read through really break my heart. I hope that you will all find a way to be okay with who you are because we all deserve to be happy.

So this is my last post. I will think of you all everyday whether I’ve spoken to you or not.

With love,
brighteyes. xx

I feel so unwanted on this earth. I just want to curl up and die most of the time. I  get so angry for no reason and everyone excepts me to do so well in my final exams. I am under so much pressure. People always talk about me or tell me I am not good enough. There is always some sort of rumour about me like ‘She has Bulimia’ ‘She is a slut’ ‘She is a fat whore’ Why target me? I just want to die. Most of you are probably like ‘She has nothing wrong in her life. People are well worse off […]

I have no where else to vent, this is my place and i no guys will alway listen even in the smallest amount. So my stress has reached a boiling point, my aunt had the gut to tell me i have a poor excuse for not visiting my grandfather ,because i have lessons, but when i fail school they alway say shit, i could care less for their fucking bullshit, i have my own life to live and i don’t want or need their fucking in put . Why doesn’t she spend time with him if she is so concerned. I really hate ppl […]

I am 23 years old.  I am a new to this forum.  The reason I joined is because I feel relentlessly hopeless like all of you.  I feel I no longer have an escape.  I have burned all my previous ties with my family and friends, and I have not had a social life in over 2 years. In fact, I do not even leave the house anymore.  I am alone, in debt, and miserably empty.

In High school I had an extremely fruitful social life.  At the age of 18 I was slowly covered by a blanket of  torturous anxiety. The anxiety is strictly social. […]

I don’t understand cutting.  Honestly I never have.  I love knives, and own a lot of them.  I own a gun and never get to shoot it.  I have no release for the pain I feel.  It just bottles up.  I don’t have a breaking point.  I’ve lived long enough to never really reach it.  I rarely cry.  Its got to be really bad to cry.  There just is no relief.  Sometimes I will drive and my heart will hurt so bad I dream of crashing into a parked car to take away the pain.  But I keep on driving, perfectly.

I don’t know how many […]

So I guess I’m just kinda gonna write down what’s been happening to me lately. This’ll be a place for me to vent and write it all down. Here’s where it starts.

16th September was the day I met this girl, it was the Rugby World Cup and I was out in the city with some mates to watch the game on some big screens and get drunk. She had just moved up from another city, which had been devastated by an earthquake and her house unlivable. I met her, and apparently, we actually both wanted to get with each other but we didn’t. She eventually […]

I have always believed that Suicide is a personal choice and that it should be a lawful and valid answer for any ADULT (sorry, there is SOOOOO much drama during the teen years that if legal EVERYONE would commit suicide) that is in so much physical or psychological pain that they just want out.

If you are in so much physical pain – from an illness, injury, birth defect, etc. – that day-to-day life is a struggle and you are in constant unbearable pain, I believe that if all else has failed and you CHOOSE suicide, then you should be supported in your decision.

If you are […]