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Hope it helps somebody
i am, its true. you are ALWAYS here for me, when im to fucked, to even think. promise after promise i make to u saying i will not attempt suicide, i will quit cutting, and in a week i will stop taking pills for the hell of it. honestly, im sorry, idk why i make promises i cant keep. i try but my mind out rules me. everytime. im terrified, i dont deserve a friend as AMAZING as u, im scared u will finally understand that, and leave. im still ALWAYS and FOREVER will be here for u. u can tell me ANYTHING. but again […]
I used to tell her that if I had to choose between breathing and loving her, that I’d use my last breath to say “I love you”…
A year removed and its a void that can never overcome. So heed my lesson, and hear my warning.. Its better off to be alone..
Alone means nobody can hurt you.
Worried faces stare at me,
I try and hide the agony,
Buried within, so deep inside ,
So deep that I no longer cry.
nothing helps to cure the pain,
blood from my wrists like crimson rain,
so sad and helpless what to do,
When you have no one to turn to.
Close my eyes, get some sleep,
Silent tears no longer weep,
feel like nobody has to know
An eternal slumber i will go,
Eyelids heavy drift away,
To a hopeful bright and newer place,
How lost I was, when I found out,
The outcome of my chosen route,
my minds racing, so constantly,
i hardly have time to breathe,
Who knew the choice to just give up,
Would lead to a neverending depression.
Those eyes are the most beautiful hue of blue I have ever seen. Eyes associated with a complexion that forces even the moon to dull in shine. Surrounding this perfect entity is bliss. A crude seduction is overwhelming as I feel a confidence rise up within me. We are perfect for each other and everyone knows it. My knees go weak knowing he senses my pull towards him. As he walks over to present his hand, all the eyes in the room are fixed on us. I accept. Gorgeous does no justice to the angelic footsteps gliding me around the room. My cheeks turn red as […]
joblessness…
homelessness…
hopelessness…
lifelessness…
I think depression is clouding up my mind…I have no idea how I became like this
I think about the bad things in life and I can’t find  the good ones
I’m not pretty enough. I’m pretty, but not like those beautiful girls from fashion catalogues. I see myself as I am and I don’t want to be just average. I hate myself for being just ordinary girl. I want to be stunning, gorgeous, perfect… I want guys to like me. I want girls to be jealous of how I look. I want to be perfect. I want to be stunning. I don’t want to be simply. I hate myself. I want to end everything. I see no point in being just pretty. That’s not enough!
Yes, I’m vain. Beauty means everything to me. Too bad I’m not beautiful like those girls […]
Before I start, I am a girl. Fifteen.
Everybody thinks that ‘oh your just a teenager, it’s hormones.’
No. It really isn’t.
I have noticed something, something that many people seize to notice. People are just slaves. We are slaves to everybody around us. Slaves to the people that influence us and control us. Governments make the rules, we follow, simple. If we choose to use our life how we want, we are punished. Free country? I think not. Â People see suicide as being such a bad thing, they are always going on about how ‘omg suicide is selfish and terrible.’ No, it really is not. If it […]
sometimes i wonder why i even try … i wonder why im here…i wonder why i dont just give up and end it all…ive been juged, critizied, blamed, ect. i wonder why im still here…ive almost died so many times but someone was always there to bring me back,but they dont stay they leave and never come back, and i wonder why they did it if they were just gonna leave me feeling more alone then before,i wonder why i havnt just got my razor and ended it all ……
I don’t think I can go on much longer. I see the end of the tunnel coming soon… I won’t go without saying goodbye but that goodbye is coming up. I finally know it is… and in case I forget to say it in my goodbye: Thank all of you so much. I love you guys.
I made a fool of myself last night again. Well, maybe not. Anyway, my best friend was in town and the past 4 or 5 times hes been here I haven’t been able to hang out with him. I was always pretty upset about it, anyway. I finally seen him and went to a little party with him and got reaaaaaally drunk. Tequila. Fucked me right up. And I thought I could handle it this time. Iv’e been truly happy lately. But not last night. I went outside to have a smoke and found a spot where I was alone and my friend followed. I […]
i asked myself 1st thing this morning when i woke up. my “story” is not worth typing about – you already get it: it’s depressing. i’ve been suicidal for a few years now, but this will be my 1st real attempt. the “helium method” as i refer to it (no access to guns, i have plenty of pills but those have a TERRIBLE track record of successful suicides). i feel ready to go.
yet i have reservations. i think about my family.
i don’t love them, to me they are like strangers i just happen to know many things about, i do not feel connected or bonded […]
thursday night: the night i decided both on dying and living, my urge to die has lessened. my will to live is not good. so where should i go? i cant leave. i cant live either. why do i care so much. why should i care? well, cuz the thursday night when everything went downhill, i wasnt alone. i had my best friend. sorta. i could tell every message i got from him, he was hurt. cuz i was nearly on may way out of this crazy fucked world. i was scared, scared what he might do if my attempt succeeded, and scared what will […]
many people need a loving partner, to be told they matter and accepted as they are
some may see this need as a drawback, but it in my opinion is a good thing: they still have some hope left, hope in the fact life will give them that special person
sometimes, hope can be enough to keep you going
I’m not sure that I care if I matter to someone .. all I know is I need some money to escape my current situation
plus, money equals freedom these days
It’s been over half a year since I haven’t self harmed myself in anyway. And last night I went back to hurting myself =(
This post probably will have little to none importance and I shouldn’t go through with what I will but I am coward and a loser. There’s hasn’t been much failures in my life until now and when I usually set my mind to do something I do it. You know, like a challenge you assign yourself and you are determined to accomplish i by whatever means.
24 of age currently. I’ve lived a normal life I like to think but in reality it’s not. Honestly comparing to some other posts I’ve read in the past few days mine doesn’t come as close for a reason to […]
I can’t contain this anger!
I fucking hate everything. Cutting doesn’t work so i’ll try burning now.
I’ve always said i would like to just disappear. Now i realise i want to fucking bleed out slowly and die in lots of pain.
Guide my razor tonight. Guide my matches tomorrow.
Hi usually I visit here when I am preparing myself to get of this roller coaster joke called life.
I have had a few good rants and read others rants and sad stories.
I have succeeded in alienating my self from all my friends and most of my family . As was planned so I could just slip away.
I have problems with who I am. As I am gay oriented (maybe bi ) male brought up in a gay hateful environment I have grown up to be very homophobic myself. How this relates to me Is I hate myself for being gay. While I […]