Life sucks and I’m going crazy!! 

Why not try some drugs?I’m already destroyed,anyway.

When I was a happy girl with no trouble everyone said they loved me, everyone wanted my company, but I started falling down, I didn’t do anything wrong it was just “life being a *****”… now I’m so alone… When I said to my friends “I’m sad” I cannot do this anymore” they freaked out and their only answer was: “Stop being so negative” “Don’t ever talk like this again”

So I come here… Lovely poem @sleepykarie91, nothing worst that the feeling of your friends  throwing you to oblivion

Sorry have not been on……….started  to help people on twitter been very busy

I am still here though no worries

so long sentiment it doesnt matter now, it doesnt matter now. thats how im feeling, this song sums it up https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKdsTKE6Izs

These days, my life is insignificant in the eyes of those once important to me. I was once a single-serving entity. Now, I am nothing more than distant memories of what used to be; the whole “shadow of former self” complex, which was and is, itself, a single-serving disposition.

Though it shouldn’t be such a surprise, people are often single-serving towards one another. The cab driver takes you from your house to the airport; the telemarketer stoically asks you how often you drink milk on weekdays; the flight attendant idiotically smiles as she asks you what you would like to drink […]

It’s hard to pretend

Just watch those strangers

Whom used to be really great friends

The quietness

The loneliness

The awkward gestures

The familiar faces

Mostly…

The memories

The guilt…

The shame…

Wanting to say hey

Wanting to share a long conversation

… Changes…

Every second

Every hour

Every day

Every time

Every fight trying to save the friendship

Every arguement just creates the situation worse

Tired

Tired of trying sometimes…

when i see people sad and depressed on here it makes me sad and depressed. i decided im not going to write one note but a to couple people i actually love. one of the only things that makes me not want to get hit by that train, hang myself, blow my brains out. is the few people have been saving me all of this time. one of my best friends has been in boot camp. i dont want him to find out. i hope by the time he comes back everyone will have forgotton me, he will have forgotton me. i never go through with this. but i know how badly […]

I never liked life for what it appears to be: a process of disilllusionnement

I was trusting and full of hope as a kid, but this was because I used to idealize life and people’s intentions

life experiences later, I’ve become rather suspicious and apathetic

I don’t think we’re here to find our purpose or happiness .. I feel like we’re here to chase after things, only to realize those things were just illusions .. the more you believed the illusion to be real, the more brutal the wake-up will be, the harder it is to swallow the pill of letting go

I was led to believe in certain […]

I posted a suicide attempt of mine months ago on this site. Now I can’t stop smiling at how great life is going, I mean it’s nowhere near perfect but it’s much more bearable than it was before. In fact I created my own project into getting back into the social world. It’s not easy coming from where most of us have been, but in constant little steps, anything can be achieved, if only we believe. I know it’s corny but as the words of confucious, “It doesn’t matter how slow you go, as long as you don’t stop.” And I don’t plan on […]

well i triedf my best to make my life work but i fell short…i guess it i true whay they say….it doesn’t matter where u go u will alsways be misable because u take yourself with u. So i’m done. good bye.

Thanks to SuicideProject, I have been wasting time writing about my problems for the past few hours, rather than cutting myself. Unfortunately I cant be on SP 24/7/365.

Note: I was being sarcastic when I said “seriously”. Everyone knows that doing something OTHER than cutting is good… Even those who do cut.

But, sometimes her memory can get to me. Like her artwork hanging up in one of our similar classes, or seeing her eat quietly to herself during lunch hour. Brings up the painful memories of our happy times together. And this makes me lonesome sometimes. I am happy don’t get me wrong, but I just feel that hole that she created in me when I think about it. My story often reminds me of the song “Yesterday” by my most favorite band The Beatles. And sometimes when I listen to it, the memories of it all come flooding back to me.

I’ve shared my story before […]

This is a sad story of a now 26 year old man who was “Left Behind” by everyone. I am sorry, it is a bit long, but I respectfully put it all in one post. If you have these same problems, read this. Especially if you are currently in school.

For those of you who don’t know, I have Depression, Social Anxiety Disorder, and ADD. This story revolves around how I believe that the public schools I went to are responsible for plaguing me with this third disorder – which doesn’t help the depression one bit.

Way back in grade school (jk-grade6) I was having issues with ADD. So […]

I’d like to tell you guys that my friend came back to me with a understanding face and that we made time to work things out. I’d like to tell you that she stood up to her mom and that she gained some independence from her. I’d like to tell you that we’re still friends. But life isn’t always ideal, and sometimes not very kind to those who are patient. I will tell you guys one thing for a fact. I am really happy now.

And that I’m happy I’ve moved on from her. I’ve made some great new friends and have a wonderful boyfriend who […]

Sometime after our unforetold split up, one of my friends well.. friends( to many friends XC) Had stayed the night with my friend. I was sorta friends with her, and as the friendly, (stupidly) nice gal I am asked her how she was on (none other than) Facebook. She said she was doing fine and that she and my (ex.)friend were having a sleepover. I asked her to tell my friend I said hi. But she told me (kinda like HAL from 2001: A Space Odyssey) I can’t do that hun’.

I could have just left it at that, but I foolishly continued asking her why. […]

My mom had at the time helped me to understand the gravity of what happened, what I’ve done, and what the future of my friendship to my friend looked like. My moms prediction- Not good (and if my mom felt something to be true, it was most likely true.) I had felt that I would get an answer like that , but at least I had an answer. (because I knew that my friend’s mouth wasn’t budging and neither was her mother’s.)

My mom had told me that I should let go of my friend, because as she put it was ” Tragically ended.” It pained […]

After all that happened with my friend, I came back to my mom for condolence and would ask her where I went wrong. My mom is like a best friend to me and I know that I can always count on her for some insight or advice. My mom had told me  that she kinda knew that this would happen someday. She told me that she and my friend’s mom never really got along, because of the fact that my friend’s mom was a unusual personality. My mom told me that my friend’s mom had always been really protective over her (that I could kinda […]

Just posting this if anyone decides to care: If there are any caring people left in this world.

For two years i’ve been taking Zoloft for my OCD and depression. January I was put on Lamictal for bipolar disorder. I hate it I just end up throwing up the medicine and the food in my stomach. Some therapists say this is a good thing but for a while my emotions have been fading. All I am able to do is be sad, I used to have very bad anger problems. Lately I cant even stick up for myself I finally decided to drop the medicine. I want my emotions back. With my anger […]

My trip to the guidance office proved to be as hopeless for solace as I figured. My guidance councler is a very nice and upbeat woman, but at the time of my arrival that day, she seemed to be handling other jobs of her own. Even though I was really upset at that point, I was really just glad to sit in a chair and get away from my friend for a while.

I regained my composure and I sat in the chair with much embarrassment. I felt embarrassed for being in there and I felt more embarrassed that I let everyone see me so upset […]

For those of you still reading my story, I thank you. This story I’m telling is a little bit like closer for this chapter in my life. And I hope that reading all this isn’t as bad for you as I am typing it.

In the end of my relationship with my friend, I had reached my boiling point with my friend and her mother. I had told my friend that enough was enough and that her mother had to let her grow up. I was crying and kinda being loud with her, because it hurt me, that I felt this pressure. My friend passive-aggressively was […]