http://youtu.be/tP1PXRiVoJw
I’m sorry I wasn’t there as much as I could’ve been. I know I haven’t done anything to make me part of your reason for going. I’m sorry I didn’t do more though. I wish I had. Wish I could’ve. I don’t know if you’re still alive or are still waiting for the date you told me you would do it… If you’re still here or anyone here knows if she is please let me know… I’m sorry
I almost can’t believe how long my depression has gone on for. 5 Years I have been living in my own personal hell, with no good ending in sight. I’m sick of having to put up with myself, day after day. Worthless crazy ***** is what I am. All I want to do is die. Feel death’s cold grips against my consciousness. I want to watch the blood pour out of my pale skin, ending my pathetic life. If you can call it a life. I have no friends, they’ve all abandoned me for greater things. I’ve tried to talk to them again, but I […]
“I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That’s why I’m trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning.”– The Perks Of Being A Wallflower (by Stephen Chbosky)
Today, those words from my all time favourite book saved me and made me feel so much less alone. I can’t explain how I feel any better than this quote can […]
a week ago i met a guy that admited liking me and i like him problem is he lives at my friends house for the summer (which of course is how i met him) anyways i have to go down to my friends tonight we are all making cookies for my sister’s friend who is dying of cancer.my problem is when him and i met he asked me something which i said no too but to wait a while i told my friend now her mom knows and he knows i told everyone but my mom knows if my mom finds out she will not […]
i’ve just put myself down about everything, i can’t pull myself up to be happy for anything. my parents made me break up with my boyfriend, who was the only person that understood me, they just took him away from me…now my parents have decided we’re moving. All of this is just pushing me over the edge, i don’t want to be here anymore. I’ve recently started cutting myself just to know that i can still feel something, but when i do it, it actually makes me feel alive, like cutting is my only purpose. I have no one to talk to that gets me […]
That’s what I’ve learnt in life. I don’t deserve to be loved, I must be the worst person ever, thus all I deserve is pain and misery. I’m tired and today was hell, so bare with me if I don’t make much sense. Ever since I remember I’ve wanted to be loved and accepted.. and ever since i remember, I’ve been denied. My mother has always hated me. She’d never say a nice thing about me, she was convinced I’d only exist to ruin her life, cause her misery and she still accuses me of having tried to kill her when i was 5… nobody […]
can feel it, the time is soon
I’m more focused now then ever before.
I can see it taste it death knocking at my door.
I wish I was clear of the method but the search I endure.
I know it will come as I have made it my goal.
Just a little longer and I will know for sure
Just how to end this life
I did not ask for.
To be free from it and not hold the burden of it anymore.
Like the realise of hands around your neck and the air to explore
Even dying seems impossible task
Complications they like to mask.
Methods just to hard to obtain
Or other ways that cause to much pain.
So many responiabiltys are reasons I should stay.
But the will of life they took away.
Life is hard but so is getting my end
How much longer do I have to pretend.
This life is not real it is like acting in a play
But this lie I live can not forever stay
My family hates me, they always tell me they do. I hate how i remember it when i was little, how happy we all were. Now look, im scared to go home. I hate the people i should love. It drives me insane, how my own father can scream at me ” aww you going to cry, GOOD, now you can go f*ckin cut yourself!!!” I feel numb. From all this stress and pain. It makes me wanna die, makes me think they are better off without me. I know my mom is, she already left me here. My dad already wants to. I should […]
<3 I miss him and this song makes me think of him. I miss my love. He could bring me through anything, staying up all night with me when I couldn’t sleep no matter how tired he was or what he had to do the next day. I miss you to death Seth… <3
I don’t have any emotion. I am completely numb. I have nothing to say, nothing to do, nothing to think. My mind is a total blank. This is almost worse than feeling depressed. Cuz I rather feel pain then nothing at all! All I feel is a constant state of anguish, like a slight annoyed/frustrated feeling but it feels more like I’m just completely uncomfortable in my own skin and in this house. I literally have nothing to say besides the classic “I don’t know”. I am not suicidal but I do want to die and if I found out I was gonna die tomorrow […]
My grandparents are still trying to control my life from here. They told me before I came down here that I can see my dad in California if he pays for it. Now they say they will do anything they can to prevent it. Now the’ve found out I want to try to get a GED this summer and will do anything to keep me in school. Usually IÂ would let that put me down but strangely I’m more motivated than I’ve ever been. I just got out of middle school and I’m gonna try for my GED this summer. I want to show them up. […]
I really can’t take it anymore. I just can’t love my mother anymore and I feel horrible because of this. But every time I do feel some pity for her, it just gets worse. I just don’t know. I want to get away from here, away from my parents. Every time I see them I am nearly crying. I often thought about suicide, but I don’t really want to die, I am scared to die. Yet, I would do anything to get away from here, as far as possible.. Please, can’t anybody save me? Can’t anybody make me disappear?..
It’s a simple fact of life. Everyone avoids anything that causes them discomfort. And it’s understandable and human. But when I’m the source of that discomfort, it just doesn’t seem right. It hurts too much. I didn’t ask to feel this way.
cuz my parents almost break down into tears when they see a report bout deaths on the news and cause i can keep my sanity and calmness aparently im not empathetic and im heartless and uncaring. are my parents right? its stupid i do care im just not going to mourn about it. im so sick of my parents saying im a careless heartless unempathetic person.
This can’t go on for much longer! I gotta bring back the voices. I gotta bring back the madness. My only protection. Live or die, they’ll figure it out!
I’ve been glancing around — grasping blindly, I guess — looking for somewhere to vent, and it’s honestly made my sense of social distance worse. I suppose I shouldn’t say “worse,” since social distance isn’t necessarily a subjective feeling so much as an assessment of social place, but whatever.
It’s hard to feel connected to others going through depression and contemplating suicide, given what I’ve seen.
It’d be easier to explain where I am mentally. I’m tired. I’m tired of trying, and I’m tired of what I see. There are amazing wonders out there in the world and even hidden deep in people; I know […]
Hello, I need a sincere advice. I want to commit suicide and I have planned how to do it. I will take cyanide to end my life. However, I am not able to figure out should I commit suicide at home and leave my parents to find my body (I am from India and stay with my parents) or should I commit suicide in a hotel room and leave it to the hotel staff/police to find my body and inform my parents?
The thought of my parents finding me lifeless is very disturbing for me. At the same time I don’t want to give them […]
I come from a decent family and did not suffer a tramatic childhood. However it was not perfect. There was poverty. There was social services and cops. There was divorce and suicidal thoughts. What are we here for? To keep working, smile at eachother. If you don’t desire possessions then you don’t desire money. If you don’t care about money then you don’t care about a house,car,family ect. So why try? 40,60,80,100 years on this earth to make and work for what you leave behind? Why wait? I care too much about my family to make them look for my body. I care to much […]