I fell asleep before I could actually do it.. Then I wome up, and my mom was home. I didnt want to take the chance of her walking in and finding me unconcous and calling an ambulance.. She has a couple weeks off from work so.. Im still here. Im such a fuck up, I even fucked my own suicide up.

I am 23 years old.  I have Depression and Schizophrenia and every day almost everyday I argue with my parents complaining about rejection (social and girlfriend). I am on medicine and I feel like the medicine does not work. I think about rejection and wanting a girlfriend or wife and my parents keep telling me otherwise. I don’t agree with them. I NEED ONE to survive. I need love. Back in my school years no girl would date me and to this date I have never had a girlfriend which I desperately need.  Everyday keeps getting worse not better.  I should have never been born […]

I hope that you like it in your little motel

And I hope that the suite sleeps and suits you well

Another year passes and I miss you as much as I ever have. It’s different now than it was, but the scar still remains deep inside. I truly hope that your decision has brought you the peace and freedom that you sought. I still don’t judge you or hold it against you. It’s not my place, nor the place of anyone else, to pass judgement on the validity of your decision to end your own life. It doesn’t mean I support it, but I will never […]

I thought I would come back to say that I did choose to not attempt suicide again – and in fact, I’m feeling rather good. The reason for this is that I was up all night googling to see if I could find anything to explain my actions, any form of disease or illness. I was unsuccessful, which is pretty much what I was expecting. However, I was watching the film The Big Bang with Antonio Banderas (not a fan of his but he was good in this), William Fichtner (most underrated actor of all time – give the man some leading roles!) and Sam […]

Well its finally official, I’m doing nothing with my life, I can’t even get up outbid my bed to get myself a Heath care card. I need it for when I go to tafe, which is like a college it’s just really shit, and cheap..
Anyway it’s going to cost 1606.00 If I don’t have a health care card, it’ll only be 303 less with one but yeah.
Well anyway, I’ve decided im not going to do this corse because I fail everything I try, and I don’t have the money or motivation at all.
I would rather work until next year and do something […]

I know, it’s probably strange seeing an 11 year old on here. But my mother recently died. My sister hates me and bullies me all the time. I’ve been depressed since November 2011 but no one ever notices. It may be bad if i cut my self but i have done it. I’ve been trying to stop but its hard. I am getting there though. My sister talks to me like i am crap. She acts like i don’t mean anything. But I do. Ever since my mother died it hasn’t been the same. I miss her. I talk to her. I have been bullied […]

I feel the same way. I am 53 soon to be 54. Gay. Out of a relationship of 14 years for 18 months now. MY mom and best friend died this year. The guy I started dating that helped me solidify the fact that my ex did not love me, promised me love and we found it wouldn’t work. I still love him though. I try, I am not lonesome, I can entertain myself, but I am coming to be truly alone.

My ex is in the house and I support the mortgage to keep our 10 year old in as normal an environment as I […]

Is it really selfish to kill oneself because you’ve had a lifetime of misery? Why is it ok to force someone to withstand many numerous years of unending misery to save a few people a few days or weeks of pain? I am a suicide survivor myself. I was 15 when my mother took her own life, and yes, I have remained angry with her for the last 13 years, but that was different. She had a 15 year old child and a 6 year old child she was responsible for. I have no children whatsoever, and don’t intend to have any. I recently tried […]

I’m sick of  everyone.  it seems as if everyone i know is self-centered I’m sick of it. Everyone comes to me for help like my “friend”  comes to me saying hes going to kill himself so I do what every good friend does and keeps on talking to him but all he does is say he hates me and that I’m a whore because i was molested and why wont i just let him go die. I know he didn’t mean it…I never take to hart what anyone says when their mad but he must have wanted help or else he wouldn’t have stayed on the […]

Dawg. He used to be on here a lot, where is he? Has he finally done it? I miss his wisdom and experience. Dawg was one of the best.

Im convinced that im losing my mind, …as each day goes by my mental status crumbles just a bit more. I’m so sick of being alone, but at the same time its all that I want. I dont know what I want anymore. I need someone to love again, . .Im going about it the wrong way, forcing myself into dates from online sites , and than feeling guilty afterwords because I dont want anything to do with that person again. Or just feeling ashamed. I am afraid of myself. Afraid of what I might do or say. I dont even know what Im saying anymore. […]

My name is Josh, I am a 20y/o guy who lives with his parents. I’ve tried to live with some friends, in the past, it never worked (I could never find a job in my area). I recently had an opportunity to move to a better location, and maybe find a job. Someone (I know this person) screwed me over, I felt shot down, and I didn’t know what to do, so I moved in with my parents again. Its been about a month since that happened, and now I am slowly turning into a sociopath. I couldn’t care less about the people around me. After my […]

I’ve done some things that I can’t live with , so why do I to put on this fake smile? Everyday for me consists of keeping a lid on myself,
I don’t go one day without contemplating suicide, I literally spent 9am-5pm goggling quick suicide methods and I ‘m beginning to think pills will take to long.
Fuck, today I couldn’t even carry on a conversation with my own mom without my
anxiety going through the damn roof. Man, I haven’t left my room for shit today. My body is hungry
but mentally I am full. Weed doesn’t even make me hungry anymore but at […]

You know how everybody says ” God put you on earth for a reason” Well … . . I truly believe that “God” put me here by accendent, and hopefully he realizes his mistake and takes me back. Sure It’s been fourteen years and one month that i’ve been on this planet. But i’d happly give my life away to be anywhere eles, just not alive. But the thing is I don’t believe in this guy named “God” I don’t believe in the “Bible” ethier. I doubt that a man had magical powers and; created nature, created people, created food, created everything on earth and […]

http://youtu.be/tP1PXRiVoJw

I’m sorry I wasn’t there as much as I could’ve been. I know I haven’t done anything to make me part of your reason for going. I’m sorry I didn’t do more though. I wish I had. Wish I could’ve. I don’t know if you’re still alive or are still waiting for the date you told me you would do it… If you’re still here or anyone here knows if she is please let me know… I’m sorry

I almost can’t believe how long my depression has gone on for. 5 Years I have been living in my own personal hell, with no good ending in sight. I’m sick of having to put up with myself, day after day. Worthless crazy ***** is what I am. All I want to do is die. Feel death’s cold grips against my consciousness. I want to watch the blood pour out of my pale skin, ending my pathetic life. If you can call it a life. I have no friends, they’ve all abandoned me for greater things. I’ve tried to talk to them again, but I […]

“I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That’s why I’m trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning.”– The Perks Of Being A Wallflower (by Stephen Chbosky)

Today, those words from my all time favourite book saved me and made me feel so much less alone. I can’t explain how I feel any better than this quote can […]

a week ago i met a guy that admited liking me and i like him problem is he lives at my friends house for the summer (which of course is how i met him) anyways i have to go down to my friends tonight we are all making cookies for my sister’s friend who is dying of cancer.my problem is when him and i met he asked me something which i said no too but to wait a while i told my friend now her mom knows and he knows i told everyone but my mom knows if my mom finds out she will not […]

i’ve just put myself down about everything, i can’t pull myself up to be happy for anything. my parents made me break up with my boyfriend, who was the only person that understood me, they just took him away from me…now my parents have decided we’re moving. All of this is just pushing me over the edge, i don’t want to be here anymore. I’ve recently started cutting myself just to know that i can still feel something, but when i do it, it actually makes me feel alive, like cutting is my only purpose. I have no one to talk to that gets me […]