Sick of constantly breaking down, angry, I become someone I’m not when I’m angry and I can’t control it, begging to not be alive, punching walls, tensing,
Advice?
Worry.
Sick of constantly breaking down, angry, I become someone I’m not when I’m angry and I can’t control it, begging to not be alive, punching walls, tensing,
Advice?
Worry.
Little angel, don’t you see how beautiful you are?
It’s time to stand up and wipe the tears from your eyes.
You are fighting this hopelessness and the end  seems so far.
For every second that passes, it feels like a part of you dies.
And they make you feel as if your feelings are not up to par.
But it is time to be strong cus I’m right beside you, fighting the lies
You’ve been fighting for so long,
Little Angel
Can’t you feel that you are strong,
Little Angel
Because it is in you that I see hope,
Little Angel
It was you who […]
Breath fogging
the air is so cold and crisp
my red jacket
laces are wet from the dew
the brown leaves dancing
sneakers kicking
splashing the puddles
the slightest scent of the so dark asphalt
my backpack thrown so high
just missing the branches
sky slate gray
rain falling
drips from my hair just before my eyes
she is watching
under her yellow umbrella
she smiles
a walk is a journey
the moment lives as long as I
the child I was
haunting me
It’s almost 11 AM and it’s a beautifully warm day outside. But I have been awake for hours and I’m still lying in my bed in my messy room feeling sad. Part of me really wants to go outside and enjoy the rare UK sunshine, but there’s something stopping me: i’m just really not feeling up to speaking with my family, or with anybody to be honest. And I know that this is stupid and lying in a dark bedroom feeling sad will just make it all feel worse. But I can’t do it… I can’t go out and pretend everything is okay and normal […]
I can imagine the wind in my face, as I leap off the bridge. Into the river, no one would ever find me.
I mean nobody cares, I’m the girl who everyone thinks is nicee and funny, but I’m always the second fiddlee.
I have no self-confidence anymore. Whatever I’m good at, I know someones better. No matter if people say I’m pretty, I think I’m ugly. I feel like I’m so stupid. No one notices me, so why the fuck should I keep trying so hard.
Im going to die anyway, why not now? Everything is so pointless, I just don’t care anymore.
There’s […]
So I guess I never really considered trying to write out my story anywhere, but maybe getting it all down will help me put it into perspective, help me decide whether or not I can take this, haha.Â
I’m turning 17 this December and my most frequent thought is generally that “I’m so young why is everything already so bad.”
j
I should be out, enjoying life, enjoying myself, going places with my life, planning for post secondary.Â
But nothing is happening, I’m not doing anything. Lack of motivation is a horrible thing isn’t it?
I grew up in Canada, having moved to BC when I was just […]
I’ve been thinking about this a lot.  The story of Rapunzel I mean. Not the Disney one the original.
Her life is sort of how my life was. I never thought I belonged to my mother. I always felt like I was born to some other family and then stolen away by her. The original story of Rapunzel is that when her real mother was pregnant with her she desired to eat the plant rapunzel, which is a desert flower and is a very difficult plant to grow.  The witch Mother Gothel grew a magical magnificent garden with all kinds of plants and flowers. Among them […]
I know that they won’t understand, and it is so frustrating. My mother has noticed the scars, how could she not, and she has since been trying to get me to talk to her. Her methods have included getting angry, trying to guilt me into talking to her and giving me ultimatums. The other day she confronted me right in front of my little brother, and today when we were arguing he said, “well atleast they don’t cut myself”. I thought my family would be different. I thought they loved me enough to atleast try to understand but no. My mother is as blunt as […]
im really bord,have asomnia,does anyone think alot?so much that you foget what you were thinking about 30 seconds ago?what if someone on this website lived right next door to you?or what if its your own teacher or co worker and you have no idea?do you ever think of that?after thinking of that, idont think i could ever say my real name,especially after i said i took a buch of pills last night,i hate life,wisconsin is so boring,i want to live by the ocean,sorry if anyone likes wisconsin,nothing fun ever goes on here,im really depressed and happy at the same time, its driveing me crazy,im only […]
Does anyone know if, by law, a 17 year old can get a psychiatric evaluation without parental consent? I know I can’t receive medication, but I am not sure about the evaluation part. I live in Michigan if that helps anything… any answers would be appreciated 🙂
i really dont get some the reasons for open caskets,before the funerals, they say its respectful to look at who ever is dead laying in there coffin, as everyone is standing in aline waiting to look.so im saposibly the disrespectful one that doesnt look, but tell me,if i really loved that person, why would i want the last image in my head to be of them laying in a coffin dead?if i only had one very last memory, why would i want it to be of them dead? why? that horrible?when my step dad died and i got close enough up to the open casket […]
What’s the point?
1. No money.
2. No job.
3. No food.
4. Pretty soon, no place to live
5. Medical bill that can’t be paid.
ALL ADDS UP TO:
NO HOPE.
TIME TO GO BUY THE ROPE.
I have never felt that I have belonged in this world. Â I grew up Mormon and am gay. Â I am NOT condemning the Mormon church at all in any way; I am just saying that was difficult to grew up in being who I am and therefore don’t feel like I belong there. Â That being said, I don’t feel like I belong to the whole gay “scene”. Growing up Mormon has influenced this I know. Â I know I haven’t explained this too well but I am just trying to give a glimpse of how there are two very different worlds and I belong in neither.
This […]
Please excuse any grammatical errors or the fact that the discourse I use may be somewhat childish.
I’m currently hospitalised in a psychiatric ward after a suicide attempt on the 14th of May. Overdose was my first preferace at suicide and I took copious amounts of morphine, valium, lorazepam and codeine. Fortunatetly for me my body realised the danger it was in and was able to remove a lot of the codeine and valium before i was able to ingest a lethal dose.
For most of my life I’ve suffered from Social Anxiety Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder, the natural progression of the two lead to an […]
So where to I start. As a child my parents did drugs some times they gave to people for drugs. Iwould have to be there slave for 2 to 3 days to pay for there drugs. At the age of 12 we lost our house so we had to live up in the mountians. It was winter I had to take baths in a really cold crek. I finnaly got smart and started to take showers at school. I have had to go to churchs and beg for food. When I was 12,13, and 14 i had to go stand out on the corner and […]
I have met lots of people from my journey in life, some are like me, yearning for suicide (usually from the internet), though many of them have said that for years without a sound, so I have no choice but assume that some of them are simply trolls looking for attention. I feel lucky to survive my attempt at suicide, and since then I have met some people that have also escaped their own hands of death. However, today, I would like to share the story of a friend that was not so fortunate. For the purpose of the story, the names will be changed.
Alex […]
i am happy. this time i can be truely happy with him.i don’t have to worry about what people think about me. i don’t have to plan my death. i dont have to cry myself to sleep every night. i am not wanting to die anymore. it is all because of that one guy who has been with me for everything.
why didn’t i notice him before? he has been with me for every guy. every guy i thought was my soulmate. they dont mean anything to me anymore. he has been there for me this whole time and i never noticed, because i was trying […]
I just couldn’t get it together this time… and still can’t… everything is so fucked up right know but that blade really makes the difference between life and death… I promised myself I would quit, but like many times before I failed… never its going to be the same or return to “normality”, I know that… I just wish to not to feel that crappy, deep down I know it won’t change…
i have recently had a period of time where i dont feel so depressed, i didnt want to die every waking minute, i wasnt convinced everyone hated me. and then this dark cloud smacks me down again, i dont no what brought it on i just no its a familiar feeling when everything feels caved in, i just want reliefe, a time when i wont have to be scared erytime i feel good knowing somehting bad is lurking in my mind, i want to be loved and find someone i can trust, not just be thrown away. i dont understand why it is like it […]
I used to post a yearish ago. I found my way to happiness and to a good guy. I’m still in the relationship and maybe 10 months clean of cutting…5 months clean of any drugs and alcohol. I’m only 18 and as happy as can be, but then I feel alone. I feel like I’m a shitty person and like I am not needed in any way.
I’m generally a very happy girl, I’m young and I’ve got a great life ahead of me. I just need a friend to hold my hand along the way.
I guess I just want to talk.Â
I miss people talking […]
Please log in to report posts