Emptiness,
I welcome you home with open arms and back into the ravines of my heart.
The one composed from archives of incisions and hallucinated lullabies
I am left dreaming of infinite sleep, humming softly words from a dead mockingbird.
wow, 10 huge 2 inch deep cuts hurt like fucking hell, the bleeding wont stop hmmm idk how i feel calm and alarmed at the same time??? ugh! why did i give in again to the cutting i was doing so good trying to quit now i gave in and now im in blood and tears but still remaining calm
I’m not even afraid of dying. I think I’ve proven that much. No, I’m afraid of failing again. I can’t look everyone in the eyes while laying in a hospital bed again. Call me heartless, but idc what happens after I die. It’s the failing I can’t do again. It seems so easy to die. Every day theres stories on the news about someone who died quick and unexpectedly. Yet when I try, its slow and ineffective. It’s not fair. I’m no stranger to death. But he refuses to take me. I wish he’d take me. But all he does is sabatoge me. No firing […]
I have sooooooo many of them i think to much and i want everything to end ive attempted suicide and failed twice i dont understand how i failed i want help but i cant ask or do it because i know i wont cooperate in the way they want i have sooo many questions and i dont know what to do with them. Can someone help my shut my brain up?
Im sorry Im new to this im not aure if this is right
I just don’t know what to do anymore. I do have a sense of relief right now, since I found this page. And I know it seems stupid that something as simple as stumbling across a website can give me any relief from the way I feel right now, but I’ll take what I can get. I feel like things couldn’t possibly be any worse, but I know thats not true at all, because they have been worse before. I suppose it is a bit comforting to be able to get this off my chest without having the repercussions that telling an actual person can […]
I’m nearly 20 and I’ve spent all of my teenage years miserable, incredibly lonely and really bored of living. I’ve not wanted to be alive for around 5 years and the thought of having to spend more time alive is just awful, especially having to spend more time watching people the same age as me enjoy themselves. Why should anyone have to continue to live when they don’t want to?
im dead on the outside i feel it physically and emotionally im too sad to do anything but lay in bed my energy level to get outa bed is completely gone, i hope i just die tonight no more pain im to much of a fuck-up i have done everything wrong i cant fix i cant take my words back the world is to cruel if i die at night the darkness i feel will stay forever maybe thats not so bad i will die to get away and outa of the pain i miss everythin i lost but i cant have them back so […]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8ukJRxv8ng
– Sumer Kolcak
I feel like an alien…Life is not for me
I wish I didn’t exist
HAPPY FATHERS DAY.
Happy Fathers Day everyone! Well, today’s the day. The first Fathers Day without my dad. It’s kinda sad .. I’ve been trying not to think about it, because it’ll just hurt more. I still never found out how he died, I think someone’s hiding something from me. I don’t think autopsy’s take that long, does anyone agree? He’s been gone for about 8 months. Time flies! He was a drug addict. Always has been. He’s always gotten away with everything, & I believe in Karma honestly! Right around the time he died, he was trying to do the right thing. […]
I’m new to this, I’ll admit. I just happened to stumble upon this and started reading stories and it gave me this breif moment of feeling secure in telling my story. I’ll be honest in that my story isn’t that bad and is really quite dumb, but now that I’ve found this breif confidence, I have to let it out and hope that maybe someone will hear me and understand my pain. I’ve contemplated suicide, I even planned out how my funeral would go, but I’m afraid to upset my friends, afraid that they’ll blame themselves, but they don’t know any of this. I’ve never […]
Its seriously amazing at what you can hide by just putting on a smile. I am currently struggling with anxiety disorder, depression, and an eating disorder (Ednos). I hate my body and my self esteem is broken. Every time I talk to a guy, I have to back off because I don’t think I deserve to be loved. If I can’t even love myself ya know? I feel bad for anyone to ever like me because I have to hide how emotionally damaged I am. They don’t deserve to love me I’m tooo broken to deserve shit. I just want to be happy. No one […]
I just wanted to let you guys know that my ex-husband killed himself and the investigators found this website on his hard drive. He did it the exact same way he said he would on here too. He lit himself on fire on our front lawn and then shot himself after about 5 minutes. How am I supposed to pay for myself and the kids now? He withdrew all the money and spent it on god knows what and his life insurance policy was cancelled. Now the 5k a month I was getting in child support and alimony is gone. […]
I’ve been reading over a lot of the stories and tales on this website.
So many of you I can relate to. I wish I could meet up
With some of you just to hang out and I guess realize that we are all in this suffering, torment, saddness, depression. Together. I would like to know If anyone agrees. Or just your general thoughts about this site.
Empty_Soul.
The idea of killing myself is becoming more and more frequent, the plans, the ideas, the notes.. I have written so many of them.
If only she could see that I am suffering without her.. That I am lost, hopeless.. alone. Life seems so meaningless, so insignificant. My mind has sunk deep into an abyss of sadness and sorrow. I don’t know how much more I can take.
She was my world. Yet she left me.. Left me with no explanation. As time passed I worked it out. She left me for someone else. Someone I have know since I was a kid, initially I […]
I withdrew all my money from the Bank.
I have spent the last few days giving it away.
Trying to achieve the mindset that the time has come.
I tell myself be brave you will be missed by none. The banality of my existence tells me I am making the only decision I can.
That life can be so painful. I wish for a life I was never given. So I say I no longer want this one. I have had enough. Some of the stories I have read here
resonate so loudly.
How is it some can fly so high, whilst others suffer and […]
I do not believe that I will live to see the next year. I have no exact date yet to fulfill my plan, but I do not believe that I can carry on much long. I still have many things to do, to make things as painless as possible for my dearest ones. There so much to do, but in the end I’ll be at peace.
For years I’ve been handling this feelings, but nowadays I mostly feel emptiness. I’ve been tired too long to carry on anymore for long, and I’m sorry for that. I’m just too tired and empty. I just hope that they […]
u left me here
alone
u say u care
i dont think u do
u say im amzing
i dont believe u
u say how u love me more than life
BS
u say though we’re young we’ll be
married
u say not to leave u
but u left me here
alone
why did u do that
u left me here for her
your ex
u say sometimes u love her more
than me
when im your girlfriend
or am i not
i dont know
u left me here
i tried calling
i tried everything
u ignore me
cuz u left me here
alone, sad, […]
I came across this site in a search for uncharmed. My heart breaks at some of the stories I’ve read. I love you all. Kick butt, be happy, and screw everyone that makes you feel otherwise.
I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear being exposed.
That’s why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,
a nonchalant sophisticated facade, to help me pretend,
to sheild me from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation.
My only hope, and I know it.
That is, if it’s followed by acceptance,
if it’s followed by love.
It’s the only thing that can liberate me from myself,
from my own self-built prison walls,
from the barriers I so painstakingly erect.
It’s the only thing that will assure me
of what I can’t assure myself,
that I’m really worth something.
I don’t like to hide.
I don’t like to play superfical phony games.
I […]