not the drugs per say…but the addiction two adderall and xanax is doing a pretty good job of taking my focus off of life…so i guess this is close enough to death for me to keep breathing

We’re all going to die adventually. Don’t see everyone suddenly caring that I’m not around anymore. I think i could go unmissed for days. People certainly don’t care now. So why should I stay here.

Why does all of the bad stuff happen to the best people? It makes us lower ourselves and do things we regret. Sometimes we can’t make it through it. And the world will be stuck with the bad people who don’t know anything. The bullies that put us down. That dug our grave and watched us jump in it. Why do bad things happen to good people? Because sometimes, we’re just not strong enough to get through it.

My name is Mark. I guess i’m what you would call, a junkie. I seem to be a pretty normal person. I have two jobs, the whole college thing did not work out for me. I find it somewhat amusing that all my friends and family see the person that they see. I like to think of myself as a person who is on permanent auto pilot. My body just kinda does its thing, i say and do things that i dont really mean without even thinking about it. People think im a pretty normal guy. Ive had relationships. I dont think im a worthless […]

I’m cutting myself. I’m doing it right now.

And i have realised. I am too damaged to ever be loved.

I hope i fucking die.

I don’t know where to start really. I haven’t been on here in a long time. I can definitely say that I have changed. In some ways good & others bad. I am just confused I guess. I don’t know why I feel this way. I’m just always so mad or depressed. I know i don’t have it so bad either & am thankful for what I have. So I always put on a smile just to hide everything. But I’m tired of doing that. I just want to get up & leave. Go somewhere I don’t know. Somewhere I can be alone, think & […]

From what I’ve noticed, everyone seems to want help in the world. Everyone I know expects me to take the time to help them out with their daily problems. I have no quarrels doing this. I enjoy helping someone else, it keeps my mind distracted.

But you say to much if you even mention that something is wrong in your life and want help. What’s with this society we’ve built where everyone expects help, but no one wants to help you. I hate it, and that’s why I come here. Not to find help but to be able to talk. I know that there are people […]

I feel so out of sorts today.

Usually my boyfriend drops anything he is doing to discuss things with me. He knows that if i don’t talk to someone and get everything off my chest then i will hurt myself out of frustration and rage. But lately he doesn’t want to listen.

I know i sound really clingy and selfish but it’s getting to the point where i just need to talk to him about ANYTHING and he goes offline or just ignores me.

He’s staying at a friends house and has been there for a couple of weeks due to problems at home. He’s unemployed and i […]

I do not feel any feelings. I vacillate between a depressing awareness of my fundamental lack and cheap moments of forgetting that I don’t think I’m a real person. I have a studio in New York City, but the walls feel like a box. I went to a club wasted and alone late last night and stared at the way the ceiling was cracked or the wallpaper and pretended to have to use the bathroom a lot. I remarked to another alone observer that everyone looked like animals. He disagreed. I think he was staring at the grinding girls. How I wish I could forget […]

I woke the same as any other day
Except a voice was in my head
It said seize the day, pull the trigger,
Drop the blade
And watch the rolling heads

The day I tried to live
I stole a thousand beggar’s change
And gave it to the rich

The day I tried to win
I dangled from the power lines
And let the martyrs stretch
Singing

One more time around
Might do it
One more time around
Might make it
One more time around
Might do it
One more time around
The day I tried to live

Words you say never seem
To live up to the ones

Sometimes I wonder why I am who I am, why I’m here, why no one in this world gives a fuck about me. But right now, I don’t care. I’m happy, not because of something that happened, or something that will happen, but because I choose to be. Happy isn’t really the right word. Content. Calm. Or defeated. At peace. Take your pick of words that describe this emotion, or lack of emotion, but I’m not empty.
I will never be pretty, or smart, or charasmatic. People will never like me very much, and I won’t like them. But for some reason, it doesn’t matter […]

I  dont understand. I haven’t lived trough that much shit yet I still feel worthless I have no reason to be depressed I guess Im just weak, God I hate myself.

I am so incredibly tired of living.  Of dealing with everything, and of putting up with people.  Especially the people who think that it is their mission to “save” me, when I don’t want to be saved.  I’m tired of waking up every morning, and never actually accomplishing anything except, for living life on a endless repeat button.  This isn’t a life, and nothing anyone ever says or does can change anything.  People tell me all the time that,”things will get better.”  No, it won’t, it’s been six years and nothing has changed.  I can’t overcome my past, I can’t deal with the present, and I […]

I have a story to share. And who best than a bunch of people who I could care less if they judge me… thats right. If you do then fuck you.. People always wonder what makes a man finally pull the trigger.. or swallow the pills; finally have that courage to end their life..

I grew up idolizing and almost worshiping Kurt Cobain. Yet always questioned why he ended his life.. now I understand why.. the pain. the demons life can bring along.. Here is my story..

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Summer of 2010.. I was 17 years old. My girlfriend was the love of my life. I gave everything for […]

I’ve accepted a while ago that we have no meds in the house that would really kill me. But I think after dinner I’ll down some meds. Just looking to go to the hospital.. I’ve never felt so alone… If anyone wants to help ease my loneliness until I do that, email or text

wolfhomepup@yahoo.com

732-907-9411

make sure to let me know who it is. Thanks…

I want to share my experience with drug use and how it’s only added to my problems, not take me from reality, not make the pain go away. They only add pain.

When I was 13, I started smoking marijuana in my 8th year of school . No big deal to me, even today I still do, but it stopped helping my depression awhile ago. I quit for a bit, and became a ‘goody goody’ per say. In grade nine, I believe I was still 13 , perhaps just trned 14 I started to smoke weed again, since it was fun and all my nerdy friends […]

I really dont know what i expect …. all i have ever wanted wa someone to care for me and truly love me and have been tryine very hard to make that happen all my life…..if i was only good enough or next year things will be better……i have failed at everything important in life nmainly raising my kids….oh my i love them more than anything ever in life and have done a miserable job……my mother was a good mom and took as good a care of me as she could when i was young but she never really loved me and i dont wish […]

If you thought there were no taboos on the internet, you’re woefully full of shit.  There’s pornography, pedophilia, deviance of every kind, shape, and sort, people using and selling drugs–right on craigslist–bestiality, people shoving gerbils, grapes, and beads up each other’s asses–what could possibly be taboo on the internet, the ultimate cesspool?  Suicide.  That’s fucking hilarious.

Think there’s no censorship? Bullshit.  Google “suicide discussion forums,” then go to those sites and discuss suicide, and you’ll see how fast your ass gets banned.  Gee, if we don’t let anyone talk about suicide, then people will stop killing themselves.  Okay, yeah, that sounds about right.   I’ve been […]

I’m really starting to regret it right now