My Name is..

Hi My name is Nikki… I am 15 years old and I have been cutting for a very long time.. I know what it is like to hurt and feel nothing but pain and misery. I have lost so many people to death and You know it is not fun.. I am not that skinny pretty girl at all. I lost a guy I was in love with to a person who felt the need to shoot and kill him. I felt the pain of loosing my best friend to a person who hit him with a car. I felt the pain to my grandmother when she finally was vanished from this earth. I felt the pain when My cousin Was shot and killed. I know what it is like.. There is no hope in my life and I am trying to accept that.. Why… I have no idea.. You know.. The pain really hurts. My mom threatened to kill the guy I loved and that hurt me and him were in love..

I have tried killing myself multiple times. I tried cutting veins on my arms. I tried hanging myself. Burning myself, drowning myself. Overdosing on pills. Anything possible I have tried and yet I am still here on this fucked up earth. And i want to know why.. My parents treat me like shit.. They hurt and hurt me multiple times. I don’t know what to do anymore.. It is like i have lost all hope.. And The truth is I have.. D:< You have no idea the days I get up in the morning I feel like a worthless piece of shit.. I am not perfect I never will be I am ugly and useless. No One should love me.. D:<

Well this is me… My patheticness is about to be written out ;D